I have to tell you that I think this is one of the best toy concepts ever: My Scene Lindsay Lohan. For those of you out of touch with the fashion doll scene (tcha!), My Scene is the weird-but-"hip" line of Barbie dolls that have the giant eyes. They're basically an attempt to compete with the Bratz dolls, while looking measurably less deformed. And, most importantly, they come with shitloads of accessories. Anyway: there is basically, now, a Lindsay Lohan Barbie. But it's better than just a plain old yesterday's-news Barbie, it's a My Scene doll, which means that it gets to play with all the other My Scene dolls and their cell phones and their detachablefeet and theirboyfriends and their convertibles and their merchihuahuas. Seriously, they now have a My Scene Goes Hollywood line with, like, a "dressing room" playset and a limo, except that it's like a Hummer limo. This is GENIUS. Because why should Lindsay Lohan curb her natural enthusiasm just because she's a doll now? I am 99.9% sure that the Lindsay doll comes with a tiny bag of coke, and she and Barbie will totally do lines in the hummo (limmer?). They may or may not experiment with recreational lesbianism, depending on how good the coke is. And then Mattel will come up with the My Scene Hungover in New Orleans line and, after Lindsay and My Scene Chelsea have gotten their new tattoos, she and My Scene Nolee will hit the drunken karaoke. By the end of the night (speaking of hummers), she'll totally get down with this Club Birthday River kid in the bathroom (well, it is his birthday...), and then My Scene Lindsay will be too wrecked to go film her new movie with My Scene Meryl Streep the next day, and My Scene Madison will be all like, "Here, Linds, you can have one of my extra heads!," and Madison will totally have saved My Scene Prairie Home Companion 's ass. And that's why Lindsay Lohan is all washed-out blonde in that movie, because that's the only head Madison could spare, having lost the other one in a tragic run-in with a vacuum cleaner. I never thought I would say this, but: my soul craves Lindsay.
P.S. It is my dearest hope and dream that they come out with a My Scene Paris Hilton, so that we can run over her multiple times with the limmer.