Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

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Notes from the Homefront

Horoscope of Eerie Accuracy:
Quickie: Step back and analyze a recent conversation -- tiny details offer valuable clues.

Overview: Your head is all a-whirl with grandiose ideas, but force yourself to look at the finer issues as well as the attention-getting ones. Make sure you follow up on all your commitments, large and small. 
Don't pinch pennies only to end up blowing dollars. In other words, it's no good brown-bagging it every day for a week if you just blow your savings on a stack of new CDs or yet another pair of black shoes. Watch your cash flow and general spending habits very carefully, especially if your emotions are on high -- you don't want to indulge in retail therapy now. Find other alternatives when it comes to handling stressful situations.

A sad event in the internet community, as reported on Fandom Lounge: "I just wanted to inform people here on JF that Kielle passed away Thursday night. kielle, also known as _redpanda_ on LJ and JF, was an incredibly highly influential person on online fandom. Her founding of CFAN, the archive of archives for comics fandom, was only the beginning. In her LOTR-fan-mode, she was a founder or influential in the creation of many journal-based RPGs, most notably MESPT*. And of course, on LJ, she was the creator of metaquotes, marysues, iconaddicts, and dozens more communities that I can't even begin to list. She will be greatly missed."

Random notes:

>> Have felt like crap the last few days--muscle aches all over, which may be some illness going around or... not, I totally don't know. I need to go back to the doctor about the whole polycystic whatever thing, so that may be involved as well. It's not a hangover, though, because it's been going on too long for that, but I did go out last night, and it was actually rather a busy night, what with Gold Nugget the Lovely Emily picking out her new cell number at the Cingular store (and I do mean pick out; she ended up behind the guy's desk debating which number would be easier to remember. I talked her out of something-something-444, because previously she had had something-something-666, which used to freak my shit out, but really, after ###-#666, ###-#444 is just a comedown. It's only the Neighbor Two Doors Down of the Beast, or something), and then us grabbing dinner at Moe's, and then going to see Junebug (which was... interesting, for sure. But if you live in the South, you will recognize everyone and everything in this movie, which is the freaky part), and then going out with some friends to a bar with "Tavern" in the name, and the sad thing is that "Tavern in the name" doesn't even narrow it down for that particular shopping center, and we did, in fact, end up at Tavern on the Wrong initially. The good news is that we had the Happiest Bartender on Earth. Seriously, this guy was jazzed. This guy was the Disneyland of bartenders. He even put two cherries in my second whiskey sour, at which point I endeavored to practice my stem-tying skills, and I'll be damned if I hadn't managed a rudimentary knot by the time we were in the parking lot. Grey Goose drinks are only $5 on Thursdays, so we'll probably be back.

>> Oh! That reminds me! The Lovely Emily wants to start a dirty verbal revolution. We were watching Invasion the other night, and you may remember that the blonde doctor/ex-wife/wife/mother chick ended up naked and unconscious in a swamp. Also, discovered by her ex-husband, current husband, and teenage son, which is possibly the definition of "awkward." So Current Husband, better known to you and me as The Fitch, is trying to revive Naked Blonde Chick, and The Lovely Emily blurts out, "That boy is WAYYY too close to his mother's tang." Now, it turns out that the woman's wrapped in a blanket or a towel or something, but given the blocking of the shot, we can't see that, and it totally, totally looks like the most awkward, inappropriate situation ever, and only made worse when the son kneels down to speak to his resuscitated mother, provoking a scream of "HE IS SITTING ON HIS MOTHER'S TANG!" across the couch from me. She has not stopped saying this word since. I, for my part, find it to be an inventive reclamation of slang for the female anatomy, and--as a word with everyday meanings in its own right--perfect for going about talking about dirty things without people knowing what you're saying. As in, "All men in space should have tang. And some of the women, too." Use it far, use it wide, high and low, wherever you go. In conclusion, tang: It's good for you.

>> Lily Rose, who is AWESOME, sold me her imp of Glitter, which, as you will recall, 1) is currently discontinued and 2) smells like bubblegum and My Little Ponies. MMMMMMM.

>> Okay, I initially posted this elsewhere, but I'm still agog at the whole thing, so I'm just going to repost it here. My sister, who's never cleaned a thing in her entire life because she's germ-phobic (which, oddly, translates to "I never clean, because there are germs" instead of "I must clean, because there are germs"), got it into her head to scour the entire hall bathroom tonight while I was out with friends. Seriously, I came home and was nearly blinded by white tile when I turned on the bathroom light. The old bathtub, which I had despaired of ever getting really clean, had been scrubbed bone-white. This was totally awesome, particularly since we share the bathroom despite the fact that she's got a bathroom inside her own room and shouldn't actually crowd me out of a second bathroom, but DOES ANYWAY, and then never cleans after herself to boot.

Here's what's not so awesome: she went through all the half-empty shampoos and conditioners (I've used the same brand for years now, so most of those were hers) and bath paraphernalia and everything in the cabinet and threw away everything we don't use. Except her idea of "we don't use" actually translates to "she doesn't see me use," and she threw away a bottle of shower gel I was trying to get the last inch out of, some old soap STILL IN THE HANDY WATERPROOF CONTAINER rather than take it out first, two bottles of body splash I use on rare occasions, a bag from the dentist's with floss and a new toothbrush I was saving for when I wanted to throw my current brush away, and the month-old spot cream I USE EVERY FRICKIN' NIGHT WTF. So I'm up at four in the morning (don't ask) rooting through a slimy garbage bag trying to retrieve my rightful property. AUGH.

Oh, P.S.? She threw away THE SOAP. The BRAND-NEW bar of SOAP. What the hell?

I feel really bad getting this angry at her because she did all this work FOR ONCE, but--dude, you threw away THE SOAP? What the fuck?

>> Wait--Bryan Ferry wants to be my friend on MySpace?


Roger Ebert brings the snark again: This movie is an affront to cheese. Also to breasts.

The Book Spoiler needs help with... well, full-length book spoilers.

Hilarious answers from British school exams:
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

"Hustle" Star [Taryn Manning] Survives JetBlue Scare.

Snopes on Katrina crime: A carjacker/rapist shot dead at the scene of a crime is real. Only thing is... it happened in Georgia, with native Georgians. No bloodthirsty evacuees, in other words. Also, the "4500 unregistered sex offenders set free from prison" isn't exactly true, either:
What the Louisiana Department of Corrections reported was that nearly 4,500 registered sex offenders lived in the 14 parishes hit by Hurricane Katrina — these were not criminals who were simply let out of prison after the storm hit, but persons convicted of sex-related crimes who had already served their sentences or were on probation and were therefore required to maintain their current addresses in the state's database of sex offenders.

Unlike other states such as Florida, Louisiana has no policy requiring the jailing of some registered sex offenders during storms or evacuations, so many of those listed in the state's sex offender database likely ended up in shelters or other communities throughout Louisiana, or possibly in other states.

We remain puzzled about how the anonymous author of this piece could claim to have heard about the "4,500 sex offenders that were let out of prison" on a national news program while simultaneously maintaining that "You won't hear this on the news as the media will not let this out."

Refineries See Some Damage, Dodge Bullet.

Brian Williams blogs from "the hot zone."

A link I ran across while there at MSNBC, and must be included for total awesomeness: Aussie punches attacking shark.

I leave you now to seek out sustenance.

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Tags: deaths, hurricanes, katrina, movies, myspace
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