Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

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Horoscope of Deadly Accuracy: You need some private time alone with yourself. You need it, and you're going to have it. Be prepared to explain it to your loved ones, and rest assured that even if they're not happy, they'll get over it.

The Lovely Emily and I went to see Goblet of Fire again on a nerdtastic, last-minute whim last night, and if you're asking yourself, "What's wrong with that?," this is because you are unaware that tornado warnings had swept the area only a couple of hours before. We were in danger of very little death by the time we went, though, and for a while it looked like we would actually have the theater entirely to ourselves, but then three girls, a mixed group, two guys, and one loner in the whiplash section rolled in. It was my third time seeing it, and I have to say, my funny started to wake up this time. It's still going to be a hard slog through a parody, though, and it still won't be put online (I don't think).

I only have two more classes, a paper, and an exam, though. The class on Monday will be a party, and we are required to bring only foods that appeared in the books we read (Typee, Venus in Boston/City Crimes, The House of the Seven Gables, The Morgesons, The Lamplighter, Pierre), which is going to be interesting. Almost everything in Typee, being set on Polynesian islands (I think? They're islands, I know that), is right out, and I really don't have time to manage Essence de Valet by Monday. I already brought soft gingerbread cookies for Seven Gables, but I think there's at least one tea party in The Morgesons that involves waffles and pound cake, so surely we can pull something out of that.

Anyway, speaking of writing up there, I have realized something, and it is probably something I realize over again every few months and then forget and have to realize again, which is this: I can't write unless I'm writing like no one is looking. It's what the Amazing McRachel would call the curse of "Look at me! Don't look at me!!" I want people to read my stuff, and I want them to enjoy it. But at the same time, I can't be thinking about that when I'm actually in the course of writing, because I sit there with my fingers poised over the keys and a sentence hovering in my brain, all the while thinking, "That's not good. They're not going to like that. It's okay, but it's meh. They're not going to laugh at that. They're going to say it's 'nice!,' but they mean that it's not as good as what I've written before. I have to live up to all that now. I can't think of anything as good as that. Oh God, I'm going to go lie down now."

And it's not even like that's all that terrible a mindset--it's just that it has a certain time and place, and that time is after you've already got a working draft in front of you. That is the moment when you circle things that aren't up to par, you mentally note that this joke is too obvious or that joke is too obscure, that you spent too much time here and not enough there. And if you write fiction, switch out "joke" for "plot twist," or "character development," or whatever element you're looking at. It's all the same process. It's just that you have to switch your internal editor off when the page is blank, and I know this, I've been preaching this for years, and somehow I've fallen into this trap all over again. Hell, I used to write diagonally across printer paper in red ink if that's what it took to convince myself that what I was writing "didn't count," and that no one was looking or keeping score, as it were. And it's particularly stupid of me to have fallen into this again, considering that this is exactly what paralyzed me while I was writing the book (with an extra dash of "Oh, shit, they're paying for it this time, too!"), but there you are.

(I would ramble on about it some more, but I've exhausted the day's ration of italics.)

In other news, it is hot and stuffy in my house and I cannot funny or paper, but it's too cold outside to justify turning on the AC. So apparently I'm going to be outside writing on the front step if it doesn't cool down soon.

(By the way... turns out my bibliography isn't due until tomorrow. The bad news is that a five-page mini-version of the paper is also due tomorrow. Sigh.)

corkdorkdan: "Target Stands by Contraceptive Policy: Target allows pharmacists to choose not to fill requests for emergency contraception, also known as Plan B, if it is against their religious beliefs. I've posted something about it on my own journal, along with other Target issues (no "Christmas" in their ads, no Salvation Army at their doors) here." See, I understand the Christmas thing--as a business, you're trying not to offend customers of other faiths, particularly since there's a shitload of winter holidays. Why not be inclusive and use the word holiday or season instead of Christmas? What I don't get is the seemingly contradictory policy to allow pharmacists to bring their religious beliefs into the marketplace. I mean, I don't agree with it anyway, but I particularly don't understand the juxtaposition here.

Texas Woman Mauled to Death by Six Dogs.

Teen With Peanut Allergy Dies After Kiss.

Some New Orleans Students Happy Elsewhere.

RIP Papa Berenstain.

mouseykins1: "May I reccommend something v. funny for HP fans? It's the official disgruntled-against-a-character form and you something with it. I dunno, I just thought it was pretty funny."

"Man, I wish they would stop calling me Harry." "Hey, Frodo!"

'Lost' world created by diverse writing staff. There may be spoilers; I haven't read it yet.

There is only one Narnia collectible I want, and it is this.

The Church of Apathetic Agnosticism: "We don't know and we don't care." 

Courtesy telesilla: Victorian pr0n!

Earring of the Month Club! 

saadiira: "I know that you like to post goodies from the news. Have you done the FORBES top 200 charities yet?  It gives all kinds of interesting breakdowns on how and where they are spending."

torificus: "I keep meaning to mention to you, every time I see the links on your posts: an extension for Firefox (possibly other Mozilla things, I don't know. I'm fun and illiterate that way ;)) that pops up a reminder to click to The Hunger Site, The Breast Cancer Site, the Literacy Site, and a few others every day. :)"

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Tags: anxiety, books, charity, harry potter, jewelry, lost, narnia, new orleans, school, writing
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