It's the funniest thing--I walked outside yesterday, and it was spring. Around here, spring usually hits the last week of February or so, so it's not like it wasn't right on time. But it's always funny, how you just look up and go, "Damn. It's spring." The daffodils are out in the yards up and down the street; the jasmine on our back fence has started to blossom again; the chirpy birds (as opposed to the cawing birds; we had plenty of those all winter) have come back. The sunlight even looks a little richer, a little more gold, than it did in February, which was the greyest, marshiest, most joyless month we've had for a long time. I kind of miss the cold already, as much as I like spring, but I guess the gardenias should be coming out soon, and cold snaps tend to ruin those. I just wish we had tulip trees--I used to love the ones we had on campus when I was in college, a whole row of them.
Bookslut: "BEST STORY EVER, BEST STORY EVER, BEST STORY EVER." Translation: "Dan Brown, Cover Your Eyes: Gay Porn 'DaVinci' Adaptation to Be Released Same Day as Ron Howard's 'DaVinci Code.'"
Scientists claim to find lost civilization.
Jessica Simpson, Poet.
Defamer: "We were ready not to enjoy Point Brokeback, the roughly one-millionth send-up of this century's most parodied film. But we watched it, as we always wind up doing, and we have to say: Swayze and Keanu would've made a pretty good gay surfer movie."
Wait, this just in: The End Of 'Brokeback' Parodies. Sorry, you guys.
Stephen Glass-esque shenanigans at the Village Voice. If nothing else, read the original story (which seems, at the moment, to be mostly true) for info on the dumb-ass lines guys are apparently using on girls (except in New York, where apparently all the girls have heard them by now. "I need a woman's opinion. My friend wants to buy--" "A wallaby? And yes, I think David Bowie looks great these days").
Ever wanted to try the offline-only BPAL Twilight Alchemy oils? Well, now you can. (Y'all, Beth has a new blend there called STFU. I am not kidding.)
elbeonore: "By the by, a 12-year-old boy stuck a wad of gum onto a $1.5 million painting." Not to be outdone, some poor schmuck in England then fell on three priceless vases.
Two tarot decks for you today: The Housewives Tarot (very stylish) and The Lego Tarot.
From shoiryu: Vampire hunter/sexxor Anita Blake hits the world of comic books, because none of us have suffered enough..
The Keys to Happiness, and Why We Don't Use Them.
Stapp Says Sex Tape Was Meant to Sabotage His Career. There are so many things wrong with this premise that I don't really know where to start.
(Hee! Kid Rock says Scott Stapp is an 'idiot' for losing sex tape.)
PEOPLE! STOP LYING! GAH.
"Nine former fans of American Idol star Clay Aiken are forging ahead with threats to sue his record label bosses for false advertising." Wait... so, you're saying that you couldn't tell he was gay?
divabat: "You might like this challenge: Create a fake fansite for a fake fandom."
And to finish up, IMDB vandals decided to have a little fun with (an apparently real, just not as described) My Little Pony movie. You know how I can tell it's fake? Not because it's ridiculously star-studded now--I can tell because the character names are stuff like "Yellow courageous glittry [sic] pony," rather than total porn star names. (I owned 500,000 ponies and I still only got four answers right, y'all.)