Renée Zellweger ("from Miss Potter!"), in a short dark green shiny dress. I don't know that it's exactly her color, but it's nice. She is here to salute the HFPA. Also, she is very pink and shiny. You've heard the phrase "well-scrubbed"? Yeah, they might have used Turtle Wax this time, I'm not sure. I feel like you should know.
HFPA Combover Man salutes actors who are over the hill, blah blah. Jack Nicholson in the audience is kind of like, "I'm never inviting this guy to a stag party again."
Soon to be seen in Chuck and Larry (?), Jessica Biel, and the man currently known as Sean Combs: Best Supporting Actress in Anything on TV Ever. Man, I love Jessica's dress. Whoa, Emily Blunt is up for something else? Rock. Winner: Emily Blunt. Now I will finally see what her real accent sounds like! Also, her dress is made of win. "Thank you... so much... WOOOOOO." Huh. It's The Devil Meets Prada, only a little more nasal and less bitchfully plummy. I'm somewhat disappointed that she doesn't swan about in raccoon eyeshadow and bitchcraft all the time.
"Please welcome! The CAST! Of the Golden-Globe-nominated Heroes!" We could be here a while. They are pleased to give up their time slot to be here, quoth Some Guy. They are here to present Best Actor in a TV Drama. Surprisingly large cheer for Bill Paxton; not as big as I expected for Hugh Laurie or Kiefer Sutherland. Clearly, nobody's drunk enough yet. Winner: Hugh Laurie. Even the HPFA knows that he gives the best speeches, y'all. "This is stunning... I am speechless. I am literally without speech. It seems odd that in the weeks building up to this when people are offering you free shoes and free colonic irrigations... no one offers you a free acceptance speech. I would love to pull out an acceptance speech by Dolce and Gabbana." He thanks his crew: "They can't all be wonderful. Someone, somewhere, is working with a bunch of drunken thieves... but it's not me." He thanks Robert Sean Leonard, "but I can't remember why. He didn't give me a reason." He then thanks the two funniest, cleverest people ever, and I totally don't even know who they are. Writers? He thanks Stephen Fry and his wife, quite rightly putting them on equal footing. The cast of Heroes stands to the side watching helplessly, not winning anything.
Hey, is that Hilary Swank with a giant diamond flower in her hair? What is she nattering on about?
Music and Lyrics trailer with Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. If you ever wanted to hear Hugh Grant sing a song about "a clown above his bed," this is the movie for you.