The Eragon thing I mentioned yesterday: Okay, I will caution you that I have not actually seen the movie. I have seen 7700 screen caps (by

Actually, before I start, let me set this up for you: Arya (poor Sienna Guillory. No, not Sienna "Shitsburgh" Miller; the other Sienna) has three outfits. She wears the white number at the end of the movie, and the black schoolgirl ninja ensemble in the battle before that. This leaves her in a beige/tan outfit for 90% of the movie. She's riding a horse in it, she runs into Robert Carlyle in it, Robert Carlyle subdues her with sheer fright-wigged fug, she falls down, she gets captured, at some point Bluey and the kid show up to save her, etc. She does not have an opportunity to change clothes until she gets to her kicky little black ninja skirt. Keep this in mind when I start gibbering about her shapeshifting, non-making-of-the-sense costumes.
Anyway. Ten things we learn about elves from Eragon:
1. The race of Elvenkind is descended from Pocahontas.
("You don't even want to know how many Golden Snitches died to make this scrunchie.")
2. Elves don't wear pants.
3. That said, apparently they don't chafe, either.
4. Elves especially like to frolic in their elfin schoolgirl outfits.
5. Elves put seams anywhere they damn please.
6. Elves fall down a lot. This is an interesting development, as previously it was thought that only hobbits fall down a lot.
7. Elves are allergic to bad acting.
8. In the wild, elves are one-sleeved.
(That one sleeve? Can switch sides. I know, I checked to see if maybe she's looking at the camera and we can't tell because she's in silhouette. The position of her left hand--specifically, her thumb--and her Red Knapsack of +3 Egg Transport suggests that her back is still to it. Switched. Sides.)
(Look, seriously. It's not that there's a second sleeve on the back and she's just not using it. There is no currently unoccupied sleeve! There is no second sleeve on the grassy knoll.)
9. However, after a period of captivity...
Elves will, in fact, grow a second sleeve.
This second sleeve can be distinguished by the fact that it hasn't had time to catch up to the original sleeve.
10. And finally, elves have healing powers...
... it's just that some of them aren't very good at it.
Fin.
Linkspam:
What the NFCTDWTF thing was actually about. Not that this really explains it per se...
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