(Something interesting I noticed: there's a commercial that's been airing for Amazing Grace, a movie I had not even heard of, but yet involves a number of famous British actors, ships blowing up, and Ioan Gruffudd shouting at people. My mother was intrigued and thought my stepfather might also like it, because it was clearly about the Revolutionary War, right? The wigs and ponytails and knee breeches? Ships blowing up? Gruffudd shouting righteously at people in a legislative setting? But here's the thing: the commercial is completely vague about what the movie is actually about, conspicuously so, which is something you see a lot with Christian movies from small production companies--this attempt to show you things that you would be interested in, while hiding the pill you're going to have to swallow. And "Amazing Grace" does betray a certain Christian element. But this one seemed to have way too many famous actors in it, fairly expensive production values--what are they hiding? Well, here's the actual synopsis: "The idealist William Wilberforce maneuvers his way through Parliament in 18th century England, endeavoring to end slavery in the empire." Whaaaaaat? Well, that's clever, I thought. A complete bait and switch--give an American audience just enough imagery to assume it's about the Revolutionary War to get them into the seats. And then I felt angry that they felt like they had to hide the entire storyline of the movie because Americans wouldn't go see a movie about slavery. And then I felt sad because it's true.)
ETA: Okay, maybe they're just doing this in Alabama. Because we suck.
How to achieve blog nirvana, and blogs that have done it. Hmm... the hot spots seem to be indignation, titillation, stimulation, affirmation, outrage, scandal, novelty, lust, schadenfreude, perversity, sex and revenge. For starters, I can't really figure out what "affirmation" and "stimulation" are supposed to mean. "Affirmation" may be taken from the idea of the Daily Affirmation calendar type thing, which is actually supposed to help you "affirm" or assert your self-worth; it doesn't actually mean "positive feelings." I mean, you could affirm negative feelings, is what I'm saying; it's the act of "upholding the validity of," as I understand it, not the feelings you're validating themselves. But with Cute Overload squarely listed under Affirmation, I'm going to have to think they mean "warm, fuzzy vibes." And stimulation--I'm not sure how that's different from titillation, except that if Google and Yahoo are listed there, they must mean... intellectual stimulation? In its purest form, and then the combination of stimulation, titillation and affirmation being sex? Man, achieving nirvana would be a lot easier if I had any idea what the hell they were talking about. I actually kind of wanted to try to hit all the categories myself, if I could figure out what the difference between sex, lust, and titillation in a blog context is supposed to be. Well, let's give it a go, shall we?
Lust: Well, the Tudors people did give me a preview/behind the scenes/interviewish clip I could embed...
Oh no--it's written by the guy who wrote Elizabeth. I mean, I love Elizabeth, but I love it for Her Cateness and the costumes, not because it's a shining beacon of accuracy. So... I think all the Tudors anachronisms are now explained. I'm just going to view it as being up there with A Knight's Tale in that sense. It's going to be a lot easier on my poor nerves that way.
The rest of the linkspam:
Indignation: Fla. judge mocked over Anna Nicole case. "Some members of the bar and other court-watchers are cringing over the way Judge Larry Seidlin wept — no, sobbed — on live, national TV as he announced a ruling Thursday in the dispute over where Anna Nicole Smith should be buried. Some are accusing the brash former New York cab driver of showboating for the cameras, or worse, auditioning for his own courtroom TV show, with his one-liners, his personal asides, and his smart-alecky Bronx delivery during the six-day hearing. They say that he let the hearing drag on way too long, that he made inappropriate jokes for a dispute over a body, that he acted as if it were all about him. 'He's like Judge Judy's wacky little brother,' legal analyst Jefrey Toobin quipped on CNN."
Indignation: elsajeni points out that the Porno Avenger had a bit of a delayed reaction: "But if Van Iveren was attempting to rescue what he thought was a woman in danger he was 'obnoxiously late,' said Stieghorst, who said he watched the movie between 1 and 2:30 a.m., but Van Iveren did not burst into his apartment until about 11:30 a.m."
Intellectual stimulation: Alabama college hosts n-word conference.
Intellectual stimulation: "I miss the days when our writers were allowed to be crazy assholes."
Intellectual stimulation: Catherynne M. Valente is interviewed at Fantasybookspot. Go catvalente!
Schadenfreude: Project Runway winner Jeffrey Sebelia reduced to working on live-action Bratz movie.
Sex: Confessions of a College Call Girl.
Scandal, Sex and Titillation: Oh, Antonella. Not safe for work, or life, or anything.
Revenge: Bill O'Reilly removed from NCMEC dinner lineup after vile Shawn Hornbeck remarks.
Outrage: What the shit is this? Who talks to their daughter this way? Ew. (For those of you who don't keep up with FBOFW or the Comics Curmudgeon, Lynn Johnson has been slowly, slowly pushing Liz towards Grandpa-Stache Anthony for months now, to the point where he rescued her from an attempted assault and then took her down to[DUNNNNNN! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUNNNNN!] his single-father basement lair. After that, Johnson had Liz's long-distance boyfriend cheat on her and basically start a new life with another woman without telling her, but that's okay because Paul and Susan share a culture and Liz should be happy for them. And then it turns out that Warren, the old friend who offered to fly her up there a day early, did so because he knew and basically wanted her to find out about the whole thing so that he could then scam on her. So now who's left? The Phantom of the Rec Room, that's who.)
Novelty: HassleMe, a site that will remind you as often as you need to go do some random thing. I set it to remind me to write in my diary every three days or so.
trailer_spot: Colour Me Kubrick: A True...ish Story Vacancy, Fido, Starter For 10, Amazing Grace. Okay, this is not the trailer they're showing on TV.
The Scarlett-as-Cinderella picture in hi-res. It's my desktop right now. I used to not like ScarJo, and I'm still not entirely convinced that she's the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I think I have finally fallen prey to her pretty. Besides, anyone who was in The Prestige gets a pass from me, and I think she's actually really well cast as Mary Boleyn in The Other Boleyn Girl.
Report: Abrams Will Helm Trek XI. So now he's back on, apparently. How does the odd/even thing work--is this one destined to suck? I can't remember.
Titillation: No, the new Daniel Radcliffe picture is not real.
Perversity: Who Wants To See Bijou Phillips Nude and Beheaded? Uh... Someone McNotme?
Silver Surfer on Empire Cover.
Baz's Australia To Begin Filming in April. "The film has already secured its cast, with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman holding the lead positions. (Heath Ledger was originally attached, but dropped out to play The Joker in The Dark Knight.) Jackman will play a cattle driver who tries to save Kidman's ranch from an antagonist played by Jack Thompson." Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up--why did I think Russell Crowe was in the lead? Because I am 100% more interested now.
The Full List of Oscar Presenters. Clive Owen! My mother's going to be so disappointed that she's going to be out at one of my stepfather's gigs Sunday night!
Spielberg, Coppola and Lucas to Hand Scorsese His Oscar. Furthermore, "Finke has learned of a few other 'surprises' we can look forward to on Sunday night, including an appearance by Tom Cruise to present his old boss at Paramount, Sherry Lansing, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. Also, the supporting acting awards will not be announced at the beginning of the ceremony, as they usually are, and none of the scheduled performers from Dreamgirls (Beyoncé, Jennifer Hudson and Anika Noni Rose) will sing the song they sing in the movie -- who will perform what is not revealed, however. As for montages, we can expect one directed by Michael Mann about the portrayal of America in movies and one directed by Nancy Meyers about the portrayal of writers. It is being rumored that this year's Oscar telecast will be extremely long..." Well, duh. I could have told you that about the time they told us that Lansing and Ennio Morricone would get special Oscars.
(Also, does the performer/song mixup not sound like Beyoncé totally threw a hissyfit and demanded that she be allowed to sing "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going"? Five bucks says, y'all.)
And finally, Affirmation: jstilwe found me a Versace Experience remix of "P. Control"--pretty much what Prince performed live at the VH1 Fashion Awards, which is the version that I wanted. It's very short, and apparently leads into other tracks on the CD, but I'll take it--it's not bad for putting in front of another version of the song on a playlist. Now, to get the rest of the Versace Experience... (What? I find "P. Control" affirming...)
Wow. Nirvana? Harder than it looks.