Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Oscar blog part 6

Ah, back just in time with a water refill. Ellen has come up with an Oscar belly tote, you know, like you put babies in. Nice. Here’s Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway holding hands, while Meryl Streep beams from the audience. (“Hi Meryl!” says Emily. “We love you,” they chirp together. “She doesn’t have her cappuccino--did you get--” “I thought you were going to--” “Look, she’s smiling, like it doesn’t even bother her.” And then they cut to Meryl, and she is staring at them like SATAN. AHHH. Costume Design! Ooo, they’re exhibiting them in person! Damn you, Golden Flower! Aww, they brought a real corgi for the Queen exhibit. Also, Anne and Emily totally snerk during their script for the Prada exhibit. Hee. MARIE ANTOINETTE! I LOVE YOU, MILENA CANONERO! YAY! Oh, thank God I don’t have to cut a bitch. (Wow, she did Barry Lyndon? I’m impressed.) I have no idea what she’s saying--oh, wait, Francis Ford Coppola introduced her to Sofia during the filming of The Cotton Club. Awww. Also, the costumes are still on stage. This is a fantastic idea.

Oh dear, it's Tom Cruise entering to that M:I theme. I guess recycling it is part of their "gone green" theme. Ah, we're going to give Sherry Lansing the Jean Hersholt now. Everybody to the bathrooms! Snack like the wind!

(I totally gave up on keeping the time, didn't I?)

Tom Cruise has used up his week's supply of vitamins in order to behave like a functional human being. I'm even more surprised that Katie Holmes isn't glued to the side of his head; I can only imagine that she's locked up in a closet at the Scientology Center right now. You know, so she won't be... lonely. Lansing has a very even, measured, scripted speech, which isn't a bad thing, I suppose--this is her chance to talk about her charities, and she doesn't need to be flailing around for ways to sound modest. That is the job of whoever wins the honorary Oscar, which is Ennio Morricone this year.

Out in the audience--wait, Ellen gave Clint Eastwood a headset sometime back in the day? “Someone from your office sent me one.” This is also news to Ellen. Eastwood is now jealous that she doesn't also have a script for him, so Ellen asks Spielberg to take a picture of them for "MySpace" instead. And then she starts backseat-directing Spielberg. That... that was surreal. And then she reels off a bunch of trufax about Gwyneth Paltrow ("She is married to Chris Martin, he is in Coldplay, I have all his albums, their child is named Apple, she won an Oscar and I saw her win it!"). Dammit, I really like her dress. Gah. Cinematography! Big ol' cheer for Emmanuel Lubezki for Children of Men. Yay The Illusionist! Also a big cheer for Pan. I like them having the cinematographers describe what they did for a selected scene; it gives people a better idea of what cinemaWHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHILDREN OF MEN DIDN'T WIN? FUCK ALL Y'ALL I CUT ALL THE BITCHES. Okay. Okay. I'm here. I'm back. I'm calm. It goes to Pan's Labyrinth. That's good, right? RIGHT? Again, gently, they play Guillermo Navarro offstage. Ask not for whom the piano murbles; it murbles for thee.

Hee, the Interpretive Dance Squad does a pretty good Little Miss Sunshine bus, complete with dancer(s) running in place after it.

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Tags: awards, movies, oscars
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