My room is not the Jones Household Computer Lab. Stop treating it as such. Y'all have computers of your own, and if they're overrun with viruses, that's not my fault. So QUIT IT. BOTH OF YOU.
I am lying down in pitch dark with a compress over my eyes Sunday afternoon. You come in and--yes--start using my computer. And talking to me. WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? IN THE DARK? WHILE I'M CLEARLY HEADACHING? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?
If you are going to tell me not to take a shower because you need to take a shower, then TAKE A GODDAMNED SHOWER ALREADY. And DON'T run the water for twenty minutes with the door open before you even get started.
The toilet brush is not Excalibur. I am not the only person who can wield the power of scrub.
Don't throw food away. Just don't. You, in particular, have no grasp of which foods should stay and which should go. The cheese with the wide green vistas of mold? That can go. The muffins I baked this morning? HANDS OFF.
Rare Semi-Identical Twins Discovered.
Sheep engineered with 15% human genes. UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!
Famed former brothel Mustang Ranch burns.
Got problems? Blame Californians.
Is that a crocodile under your robe, or ...
From levi: Little girl with off-brand doll (and willing to pay $20 to have its hair styled) humiliated at American Girl store by stylist and other customers/parents.
Neil Gaiman on the Stardust trailer: "I like the trailer. I've seen a lot of other trailers for Stardust, and was astonished to see how much they vary and the impression they seem to give, and I realised how close the recut trailers for The Shining and The Parent Trap and Mary Poppins were to the truth. In November I saw one trailer for Stardust that gave the impression it was a film about three witches on their quest to become young again. I saw one that didn't seem to be about anything, but still left you feeling like you'd seen (and not enjoyed) the whole movie, which wasn't any movie that had ever been made. There was one trailer that gave the impression that this was a film about Tristran's quest to discover the riddle of his birth, which he solved by becoming a sky-pirate." That last one, I would totally go see that.
Ewan McGregor on Trainspotting Sequel: He and Boyle are Not Friends, Sequel Will Not Happen.
Requiem for a Fighter: Darren Aronofsky will helm "The Fighter, a fact-based boxing drama that will reteam Departed co-stars Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon." Speaking of whom: Scorsese and DiCaprio Reteam on The Wolf of Wall Street; Wahlberg: "I Had Problems with Scorsese."
Michael Biehn Talks 'Avatar' -- Cameron Not Using Cameras?
Bond 22: Tomorrow's Rumors Never Die. My mother finally watched Casino Royale, by the way, and actually liked it, although she swore to the end that Daniel Craig "was not the most attractive actor they've ever had play Bond." Well, maybe not in the face, but... (Actual response: "Girl, he fine. Are we gonna have to watch this again? Don't lie.")