"Who are you?"
"Uh... I'm [Sister Girl]'s sister." Keep in mind, I have no idea who in the family they know by name, if anyone. Keep in mind, also, that I'm not used to opening my door and having someone demand who I am.
"Oh, okay. Can the puppies come out?"
"They're... they're being fed right now, I'm sorry--they can't come out." [This is the excuse my mother has offered. Note: the dogs do not actually eat until 6 pm, so we are all lying out our asses.]
"Are they gonna be done soon?"
"Probably not, no."
"Are they gonna be done in thirty minutes?"
"No... I don't think so."
"Can we wait here?"
"I don't... I don't think... maybe you can come back tomorrow?"
"We can just wait right here, is it gonna be a really long time?"
"It's probably going to be a while--"
"A couple of hours?"
"I don't really..."
"Can we talk to your mom?"
"She was on the phone..."
"Well, is she done now?"
"No, I mean I was talking to her on the phone; she's not here. She's getting home from work pretty soon though..." [oh God oh God please come home and deal with these kids]
"Are the dogs still eating?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure... "
"Are they gonna be done soon?"
"I really don't think..."
"Thirty minutes? Forty minutes?"
"Longer than that..."
"A couple of hours? An hour and a half?"
"Because we can wait right here. Or we can go back up the street and come back in an hour, or an hour and a half, and if y'all happen to be back outside, you know, or we can just ding dong if you're not, and..."
See, my sister feels bad for the kids and would have played with them if she hadn't had to run off to class; she loves kids and her primary life goal is basically to settle down and be a full-time mom. I always felt uncomfortable saying that I "don't like" kids, because that isn't true, and after this conversation, I realized why: I think of kids as very small people, because when I was a kid, I hated it when people treated me like a baby just because I hadn't gotten all my grownup teeth in yet. And there are people I like, and people I dislike. It varies, because people are people. Now, that little girl, she was quiet the whole time and held the little white dog's leash and seemed pretty sweet, so I felt kind of bad that she didn't get what she wanted (i.e., to play with puppies). The little boy, on the other hand, was annoying the living fuck out of me because he wouldn't take no for an answer, and that burns my toast no matter how old you are. Seriously, I can't believe the kid stood there for seven or eight minutes and argued with me. I mean, he wasn't being aggressive or anything; he was just being really, really persistent, and possibly too damn
I am hoping, however, that the kids on the other end of the street feel like getting their ding-dong-ditch on again this summer, because I am perfectly willing to sit around back by the side of the house with a baseball bat and lie in wait.
TJ Maxx and Marshall's: 46 million card numbers stolen.
Bizarre honeybee deaths cost billions.
Tiny blind animal halts billion dollar Aussie mine.
Farm of the Fainting Goats.
agent_sculder: "Some guy has made a music video (very low budget) of Kermit the Frog singing Nine Inch Nails' 'Hurt.' Let's just say, you have NEVER seen Kermit like this before."
I don't know what's going on in this picture, but it terrifies me.
You should put a happy little bush right there.
Twelve New OOTP Images, Portraits from Entertainment Weekly.
Did Sarah Michelle Gellar Land a Role in 'The Dark Knight'... as Harley Quinn?
Andy Serkis to star in The Cottage.
trailer_spot: Bourne Ultimatum, 28 Weeks Later, War, Inc., I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Ratatouille, Stardust European trailer.
Eli Roth Says Horror Movie Violence Should Have No Limits.
Defamer Publicist Denial Corner: Clooney Not Involved In Huckabees Video Leak, Says Clooney; Breaking! Hero Clooney Embarks On Million-Dollar Quest To Find The Real Leaker! Whoa, this just blew up from "Heh" to "Who the hell cares?"
How Michael Bay Screwed Up 'Transformers': A Poem.
Smith Offered Film Funding To Play Monroe. "Tragic model Anna Nicole Smith was so desperate to play her icon Marilyn Monroe in a Hollywood movie, she offered to fund a film about the actress' second husband, Joe DiMaggio. But Marv Schneider, who penned DiMaggio: Setting The Record Straight, says Smith's generous offer was turned down, because directors feared if she was cast as Monroe, other stars turn down the role of DiMaggio."