Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

  • Music:

Monday night, still full from lunch

Have I ever told you why I hate April Fool's jokes? It involves 1) my father convincing me, aged eight, that he had traded me to another softball team and 2) a lot of tears. There's a lot of reasons we haven't spoken in nine years, and that, as far as I am concerned, is one of them. That said, I actually enjoy online April Fool's jokes, if only because they're usually pretty obvious as long as you're aware of the date. Therefore, I give you two listings of jokes perpetrated online this year. As usual, Google pretty much wins.

(Top 10 Worst April Fool's Day Hoaxes Ever.)

("This thread is unethical. I really have a problem outing werewolves without their permission.")

Meanwhile, the puppies have decided that the height of entertainment is to stand facing each other, exactly four inches apart, and bark for half an hour on end. And I want to read Pride and Prejudice but I can't find my copy. I could print it out from Project Gutenberg, I guess, but... no.



From chris_walsh: The poisoned dog food clusterfuck continues. Meanwhile, new brand recalled in pet food alert; dry pet food added to recall.

Lone woman on FBI's wanted list captured.

Holes found in the American Girl doll story I posted. Also, kittikattie totally called it.

Bono knighted; son thinks he's a Jedi. " 'You have permission to call me anything you want -- except sir, all right? Lord of lords, your demigodness, that'll do,' Bono, 46, told reporters after he was crowned a 'Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire' in an informal, laugh-filled ceremony in the Dublin home of British Ambassador David Reddaway."

Doonesbury: Supporting the troops.

Student punished for spaghetti beliefs.

8th-graders nabbed over laxative doughnuts.

Runaway bride inspires police recruiting billboard.

Anatomically correct chocolate Jesus angers Catholics.

Girl kicked off plane for coughing returns home.

Proposal for '.xxx' domain for porn voted down.

Why Nobody Wants To Work At 'Salon.'

Best headline I will see this week: Summer's Coming! Worry About Your Ladyflower!

But this one comes in second: Famous clown gets tiny bike back.

Fake volcano bursts into real flames.

Alanis Morissette does "My Humps."

Teen star feels pressure to be thin. BREAKING NEWS: SKY BLUE.

Google Maps: Step 23 is a bitch.

MUSH!, or, HUSKY PUPPY.

Sexy Chicken has a new date, or, POMERANIAN PUPPY.

INVISIBLE DINNER :(

Neil Gaiman One Step Closer to Sainthood. " 'First, we have a report of a signing at DreamHaven Books, where by mistake his publisher had only shipped one 20 book carton of Anansi Boys, but into which the Venerable Gaiman had reached his hand again and again to pull out book after book, until all 500 patrons had received their copies, all of which were first printings and entirely free of shipping damage.' Bertoli noted that the second miracle involved a girl in Los Angeles who had been cured of her terminal cancer after a copy of Volume 9 of The Collected Sandman (The Kindly Ones) had been laid against her brow. Finally, Bertoli said he had documented proof that Gaiman had single-handedly fed all of Paraguay in 1987."

John Scalzi deals with the most depressing reader question ever. Meanwhile, ursulav deals with... well, the kind of guy who announces, "I'm anti-semitic, and I'm in a bad mood today."

trailer_spot: Savages, Two Days in Paris, Shortcut to Happiness, Transformers, Bourne Ultimatum, Spider-Man 3.

Former ‘Family Ties’ child star Bonsall arrested.

Captivity Controversy Explodes To New Level: MPAA Slaps Sanctions On, Ratings Process Suspended in "unprecedented" move.

Hilary Swank wants to remake Intimate Strangers (Confidences trop intimes).

Foster and Breslin Visit Nim's Island.

Matthew Rhys and Cillian Murphy Join Dylan Thomas Film (bolding mine): "The film will center on a love triangle between Thomas, his wife Caitlin (Lindsay Lohan) and his childhood friend Vera Phillips (Keira Knightley), who was married to a man named William Killick (who will be played by Murphy)." To the best of my knowledge, this is not an April Fool's joke.

First Pics of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts! I... wow.

Peter Jackson to do Powerpuff Girls movie? Let me go out on a limb here: did TheOneRing.net report this on April 1? Oh, Sci-Fi Wire, I'm disappointed in you.

I don't know if Pimps at Sea is a real movie, but I would totally go see it.

Entertainment Weekly Feature on OotP: "Yates Likely to Return" for HBP. Meanwhile, can you access the feature on EW? It may be subscriber only, I don't know. Also, I feel that Gary Oldman's head is totally pastede on yay in that photo.

Anne Rice's Christ the Lord to be a movie. Sing it with me if you know the words: This is going to end well.

Peckinpah's Straw Dogs Getting Remade by Rod Lurie.

British Newspaper Says Brett Ratner Directing Wolverine? *sob*

I had the same reaction to the Hairspray poster, by the way. John Travolta in drag is Not of the Lord, and I don't mean that in a Moral Majority way, either.

Lookout Director Says Harrison Ford "Chickened Out" Of Starring In Drug Drama.

Serenity Beats Star Wars in Best Sci-Fi Film Poll Landslide. Was it an online poll? Yeah, that's what I thought.

The Lovely Emily reviews The Namesake, of which there's a movie adaptation starring Kal Penn out right now. I think the preceding sentence is grammatically correct, but it makes my brain hurt all the same.


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