Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

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Monday night, feeling silly

Spent the day reading The Queen's Fool, which is far better than The Virgin's Lover in that at least you have someone to root for. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Queen E, but Philippa Gregory's Elizabeth--no matter which book--is more "fascinating bitch" than anything, which means that there is pretty much no one in The Virgin's Lover that you don't want to slap upside the head at least five times, absolute minimum. I think Gregory tends to do better when she writes about events we already know through an outsider's point of view--in the case of The Other Boleyn Girl, Mary Boleyn is such a cipher to history that she might as well be a fictional character, and Hannah Green is not only fictional but extremely well-chosen for her setting. I mean, before you even crack the book, you read on the back cover that she's a Spanish Jew in an uncomfortably Christian England, a "holy fool" in boy's clothes, during the rapid shifts in power between Edward's death and Elizabeth's accession. If you are capable of dreaming up such a juicy premise, you are probably just as capable of seeing it through. And, bonus: no first-person sex scenes between historical figures, which is what set me howling through much of Boleyn Girl, The Virgin's Lover and The Constant Princess. Because, as I have said elsewhere, you can't start talking about how Elizabeth "gasped at his strength and power," or how Mary Boleyn instructed Anne in the fine art of blowjobs, and expect me to keep a straight face. I'm sorry, I just can't do it.

P.S. If they ever make a movie of The Queen's Fool, I kind of want Ivana Baquero to play Hannah.

And now that I've had a couple of days' break reading, I need to get back to the Comedy Mines for the book.

Fiery crash collapses vital California highway.

From mustang_bex1126: ‘Drunken Pirate’ sues school that nixed degree.

Drunk groom's brother takes his place.

Baby robots!

Ryan Gosling teaches Ellen to salsa.

Doohan Ashes Beamed Up.

Whale Rider's Keisha Castle-Hughes Has Baby Girl.

MTV Movie Awards nominees. Looks like it's pretty much 300 and POTC2 going head-to-head.

FINALLY, a decent shot of Tonks.

(Clearly, this cat is ready for the Potterdämmerung.)

The Full-Length Fantastic Four Trailer.

Brace Yourself for the 'Bloodrayne 2' Teaser.

A talk with POTC3 production designer Rick Heinrichs.

Aronofksy Writing Noah Screenplay. Oh God.

Old Clive Owen Miniseries, 'Second Sight' Will Get Feature Treatment.

James McAvoy touted to play Grant Stoddard. I would be far more excited about this if I had ever heard of Grant Stoddard before.

Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott doing new Robin Hood. Only, it's from Nottingham's point of view--"with Nottingham as a noble and brave lawman who labors for a corrupt king and engages in a love triangle with Maid Marion and Robin Hood." I demand--DEMAND--that Orlando Bloom be cast for Robin Hood. Ridley Scott has used Orlando Bloom twice before, so obviously he likes him well enough, and he was BORN FOR IT. I mean, yes, we will be throwing him to the tender mercies of Russell Crowe, but on the upside, he's already trained in pretty much every medieval art of war you can throw at him. I will march on the production offices if I have to, and I'm assuming all of you will come with me. Y'all bring the pitchforks, I'll bring the torches.

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