And then we watched The Fountain this afternoon, and I slept a lot. I ended up drinking so much Coke at the two movies that I didn't sleep at all there for a couple of nights. Like, I'd just lie there slowly going insane until five in the morning. At one point I got up and made the bucket icons (see previous entry) just to have something to do. Oh, and I got new glasses on Saturday, because--as you may recall--I was sitting in my first viewing of POTC3, and about an hour in, the damn left lens fell out. This has happened a lot over the last six months, and I've been carrying around a pocketknife so I can screw the lens back in. Except this time, it fell out in a dark movie theater. The sad thing is, I actually found the screw. It was in the process of trying to fix the glasses in the dark, because I sure as hell wasn't going to leave, that I dropped the screw and couldn't find it. And it was at that point that I started to reconsider the "getting up and leaving" part of the process. Woe. So I literally--and I cannot express to you how literally I mean this. I'm not abusing an oft-abused word; I mean this literally--held the left side of my glasses together by pinching the frames shut for an hour and forty-five minutes solid. I actually asked all the friends I was sitting with if they had any string, for God's sake, because I've actually tied them together before, and I'm now thinking about always carrying a little box of dental floss in my purse for that purpose from now on.
You are probably wanting to ask one, and exactly one, question right now, and that one question is, Why the hell didn't you get new glasses six months ago? Look around your house and think about all the things you keep meaning to do or to fix, and that's why. Except that we extend that quirk of human nature to every single aspect of life chez Jones: if it ain't on fire, it can get fixed tomorrow. As of Friday night, my glasses were "on fire," figuratively speaking.
Oh, also because Shelby had bitten them. Actually, Scout had pulled the glasses down off the end table where I thought he couldn't reach them, and when the left lens inevitably popped out, Shelby grabbed hold of that. So when I emerged from my Death Flu-Cold fever du jour, I found Scout licking the frames and Shelby chewing the lens like a piece of gum. This is why I always ask for the bulletproof shatter-resistant whatever-you-got lenses, yo--instead of prying tiny shards of glass out of my dog's throat, the lens just had a constellation of very attractive punctures on each side. So I actually WORE THE GLASSES with pinhole bite marks on them all last week, because bitten lenses? Not on fire. Bitten one-lensed glasses? Flaming.
So then I had to have the full eye exam (although I refused, point-blank, to sign the Please Let Us Dilate You form, because I am in quite good ophthamalogical health and my only problems are a slight astigmatism of the left eye and mild nearsightedness, to the point where I have been told that I could actually drive without my glasses), which involved about five years of shining laser beams into my eyes, but my ophthamalogical fitness was confirmed, and I got some new DKNY frames that were reasonably close in style to the previous pair (Sergio? They broke after only two years, as opposed to the Armanis that lasted six. Buyer beware). I'm still breaking them in, of course, as my left ear is apparently situated a good deal lower than my right, but I can actually see clearly again.
Also, istoo has reminded me that I need to make a book-related announcement. You may have gotten an Amazon UK email or seen the page for a book called Cut: Movies in Fifteen Minutes. This is, in fact, the paperback version of the original book; there is no second book (yet). I actually had no idea that the title or cover art had been changed until--actually, I believe it was Gunther at trailer_spot?--showed me the new page a while back, and I kept forgetting to mention it. I'm mostly afraid that people are going to buy it thinking that it's a separate book, which it isn't, but as far as I know, the content is the same as the hardback, if you really are in the market for a copy.
Alabama Is the Center of the Universe: Alabama boy kills 1,051-pound hog, bigger than Hogzilla; Aruba back on case of missing Alabama teen. From mustang_bex1126: Unusual Pioneer: Alabama School's First White Grad; from clodia_risa: 'Stealth racism' stalks deep South.
80-lb lizard shot twice, slinks away.
Mo. man burns books as act of protest. Tod Goldberg, however, ain't buyin' it.
Fallen soldier's family adopts Iraq puppy.
I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!
O SNAP 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog: I CAN HATH CHEEZBURGER?
The addictive yet relaxing Boomshine.
Charles Nelson Reilly, Tony-Winning Comic Actor, Dies at 76. If you're of my generation, you probably know him best as Jose Chung from The X-Files.
A headline juxtaposition for the books: Lindsay promises to "curb party antics", meanwhile, her father wants her to return to rehab; A Searching And Fearless Inventory Of Lindsay Lohan's Crashed Car [After DUI] Turns Up 'Usable Amount' Of Cocaine.
'Pirates' sets Memorial weekend mark, but still falls short of Spidey.
Rush back to save old enemy in 'Pirates.' "[When] I was staying at the Chateau, West Hollywood was rancid with pirates last Halloween. I was very tempted, if it didn't involve a 2 1/2-hour makeup job, I was so tempted to go out and just walk down Sunset Boulevard and knock everyone in a bandanna with a sword in their belt out of the water by parading along as Barbossa. It would be kind of fun."
MTV Movie Blog hearts Keith Richards (video). Oh my God, he really did model Jack after Keef.
From the Horrifying Movie Pitches file: Keira as Princess Di?
Naveen Andrews and Parminder Nagra to star in 'Fallen Hero.'
Hope Davis Joins Next Charlie Kaufman Film.
McGregor Launches Second Motorcycle Odyssey.
Nicole In the Saddle -- New 'Australia' Action Shots Arrive.
New stills of Daniel Craig in The Golden Compass; there are also some new shots of Eva Green at The Costumers Guide (*waves*).
Kate Winslet on the set of Revolutionary Road.
Bonham Carter on Bellatrix Look in OotP: "Sunset Boulevard Thing Going On."
Crap Lindsay Lohan movie gets far better poster than it deserves.
Harvey Weinstein Calls Luc Besson a "Has-Been."
Director Alex Cox Says He's on Hollywood Blacklist, Lashes Out at Kirsten Dunst of all People.
'Silver Surfer' coin steams U.S. Mint.
'Becoming Jane' Trailer Hits Web.
trailer_spot: Interview, Introducing the Dwights, I Know Who Killed Me, U2 3D, Ocean's Thirteen, Angel-A, more.
"National Treasure 2 Trailer: Praying for Sweet Release of Death."
Celebrity Past Lives for the lulz:
"Russell had a very violent life as an English convict. He was transported to Van Diemen's land (now Tasmania) in the early 1800s for living off the earnings of prostitutes."Diego Luna as Michael Jackson in "Mister Lonely." I have no idea what this article says or if there is visual proof of this horror, because I immediately screamed and closed my browser.
"They vowed to commit suicide so that they could never be parted. One night, Justin climbed up to Cam's room. They went up to the roof and, hand-in-hand, they jumped. Both died instantly, causing horror and grief for both families. The spirits of two white swans have been with them ever since."
"In the early 1800s, Liz was a hillbilly growing up in the backwoods of Kentucky, where her mother taught her about the healing properties of roots and herbs. Liz married a second cousin and had several children, but continued working as a healer."