"You... you want to pimp him out as a stud mutt," I said blankly.
"He's a designer dog," my mother replied cheerfully.
"A designer dog that we don't know what he is!"
"Oh, come on! We know the mother's a terrier! And he's definitely labrador, because I had to haul him out of the pool again, and his little beard means he's probably got some schnauzer. And probably some hunter of some kind..."
"STUD. MUTT. You realize this is a contradiction in terms, right? Right?"
That said, we've already spent the last couple of months thinking of Designer Dog portmanteaux for them. Scout is definitely a Labraderrier of some kind; Shelby may be an Australian Terriapherd, or maybe a Pointerrier, which has a lovely French ring to it.
Interview: Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio on 'At World's End.' Or, how "Hoist the Colors" resulted from a visit to Snopes.com.
Terry Rossio: I want the critics of Lost, who go on and on about how great it is because it's so complex and has so much backstory… Why is Lost winning awards for doing the same thing we're doing and the critics are apparently annoyed by it because they have to pay attention?
Box Office Mojo: Let's talk about the multiple plot points. The first movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is more linear—
Terry Rossio: Oh, it is so not. Look at the reviews of the first movie. They're exactly the same as the second: it's convoluted, it's all over the place, it's impossible to understand. [...] It's fun to watch how the first movie comes out and it's [considered by some to be] convoluted. Then the second movie comes out and the first one becomes ever so understandable. Now, the third movie is out, and people seem to understand Dead Man's Chest vastly better than they did before. The best reason to make a fourth movie [would be] so people will actually figure out the third.
Box Office Mojo: Who's your least favorite character?
Terry Rossio: For the longest time, my least favorite character was the [rock guitarist] Keith Richards character—whatever it was going to be—because somehow the world collectively woke up one day and decided that Keith Richards was going to be in these films—
Ted Elliott:—It really felt that way.
Box Office Mojo: Has the Internet influenced this series?
Terry Rossio: I definitely feel that Barbossa's first name kind of came about through the Internet. I don't know if it was Johnny [Depp] who dubbed Barbossa's first name Hector but somehow it wound up on the Internet and everyone started calling him Hector. We went ahead and put it in.
And going back, here's their BOMJ interview for Dead Man's Chest.
From bluefirekitsune: "Also, I think there might have been a reference to Vergil's Aeneid. Can't remember exactly when this happens, but at one point, Barbossa says about going to to Davy Jones locker, "Getting there is easy. It's getting back that's the hard part." If I remember correctly, that's almost word for word (when translated from Latin) what the Sibyl says to Aeneas when he asks her to lead him to the underworld to see his father."
Jack the monkey has his own fanlisting now.
Entertainment Earth, by the way, has some very affordable ($12-15) prop replicas, like Jack's rings, Barbossa's pendant (yeah, he has a pendant--I finally noticed it during the third movie, but it's there in the first as well) and Tia Dalma's locket, as well as several talking Jack Sparrows. I suppose you could get a bunch of them and make a little Davy Jones' Locker on a very white shelf.
So I went to Entertainment Earth because I knew that the Noble Collection had some obscenely expensive replicas of the rings and locket, but EE had a $14 version of the Aztec medallion from the first movie. And then I got sucked into their summer catalogue--one of the best things about Entertainment Earth is that they have some of the weirdest media-related merchandise ever. Example: "If I Could Turn Back Time" Cher Barbie. You know, in the outfit someone once described as "two bottlecaps and some dental floss." Sweet fancy Moses. Also available: a doll of the "Half Breed" Cher I just saw singing on I Love the '70s yesterday afternoon. Also also? Cabaret Barbies.
(I MUST HAVE THIS. I have Cotton Candy and Butterscotch as a wee child of five or six, but I never got the other four!)
Other things I ran across:
>> Skelanimals. What I think they should really do is have Skelanimals of endangered--or better yet, extinct--species. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
>> Monty Python Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth Slippers;
>> Harry Potter 18-Inch Talking Action Figure, who says "Have it your way" for no reason I can think of, except that maybe he's been by Burger King recently. Also, Pimp Daddy Sirius with Dumbass Showoff Getting-Killed Action;
>> Gort Wind-Up Robot, although I don't think he can actually talk;
>> 300 Queen Gorgo Statue that does not look like Lena Headey at all;
>> V for Vendetta 12-Inch Statue, which is entirely different from the V for Vendetta 12-Inch Talking Action Figure, which speaks " almost 1 minute of authentic movie dialogue." The perfect gift for a small child if you really, really hate his parents;
>> American Psycho Talking 18-Inch Action Figure, which features "motion-activated sound chip with 60 seconds of actual movie dialog[ue]" for the friend who is easily spooked when she comes home from work late at night;
>> Lost Action Figures Series 1, which we had discussed previously, but now they also have Series 2, which has Sawyer, Jin, Sun, and Mr. Eko, and word of a third series that will include Sayid, Henry Gale, Desmond (WHEE!) and Claire;
>> 24 Jack Bauer Action Figure Boxed Set, which I am totally getting my mom for Christmas;
>> Pulp Fiction Bad Mother F***er Wallet, which I don't think will actually be censored when you get it, although that would be distinct grounds for a refund;
>> Dark Crystal Fizzgig Plush, which only has one set of teeth (as far as I can see) for 50% fail;
>> Labyrinth David Bowie as Jareth 7-Inch Action Figure with, for this medium, an astonishing likeness;
>> Kurt Cobain Unplugged 7-Inch Action Figure (are we really still in the realm of "action figures" here?);
>> Donnie Darko Frank the Bunny 12-Inch Talking Action Figure (AUGH KILL IT WITH FIRE);
>> Cthulhu Electronic Screaming Plush, an excellent accompaniment to the V figure for those parents you hate;
>> and finally, the Boob Job Swear Bear Bear Talking Plush. Wait, what?
Democrats hide pet projects from voters. It's always nice to be reminded that politicians are alike all over.
From Auron: Circuit City axes 3400 workers out of sheer greed.
The electronics retailer whacked 3,400 of its hourly workers simply because the company thinks they were being paid too much.Leading, in turn, to this postcard at Post Secret.
Circuit City says it will immediately hire new workers to fill the jobs at lower pay.
Anyone can apply for those jobs right now, except the 3,400 worker who were fired. The company says the fired workers can reapply for their jobs down the road, in 10 weeks. By then, they might be hungry enough to take the slop Circuit City is offering.
Belgian troops deployed to battle marauding caterpillars.
Ill. students lose diplomas over cheers.
Man wakes up from coma to find communism has ended.
Freshwater crabs thrive in Roman ruins. Calypso? Is that you?
Source of 64-Year-Long Headache Found. "Doctors in China finally found the cause of an elderly woman's headaches: a one-inch bullet that had been lodged in her skull since 1943."
Police drummer rips band's "lame" concert. "The singer in the Police jumps like a 'petulant pansy,' the drummer is making a 'complete hash,' and who knows what the guitarist is doing? 'This is unbelievably lame,' Copeland wrote of Wednesday's show at the GM Place arena. 'We are the mighty Police and we are totally at sea.' [...] Copeland started the show off on the wrong foot, literally. He tripped as he took to the stage, and then banged his gong at the wrong time so that 'the big pompous opening to the show is a damp squib.' He did not hear Summers' opening riff to 'Message In a Bottle,' and Sting in turn misheard Copeland's drum intro -- 'so we are half a bar out of sync with each other. Andy is in Idaho.' " Concludes Copeland, "Screw it, it's only music. What are you gonna do? But maybe it's time to get out of Vancouver."
Yahoo Picks: Strange Maps.
IM IN UR QUANTUM BOX… MAYBE.
Dutch kidney-donor reality show a hoax.
Sheriff won’t let Paris do any TV interviews. Wait! He can do that? Holy crow, Paris Hilton needs to be in jail all the time!
Colbert spars with author Hosseini. "You trashed The Kite Runner. It is un-American to diss The Kite Runner." I dunno,"dissing" things seems pretty American to me. Problem is, I can't tell if Hosseini is playing along or not ("My name is Khaled Hosseini. You dissed The Kite Runner. Prepare to die").
Weekend box office total falls with no new sequel and/or pre-ordained blockbuster to drive sales. Apparently all the threequels are having steep second-week falloffs, but Spider-Man 3 experienced the biggest drop-off and "continued its freefall with a meager $7.5 million." This makes me sad--I mean, I think the movie completely deserves the falloff, but I'm sad that it didn't turn out as well as the first two. For some reason, I attribute all the problems to the Venom storyline--a movie in which 1) Peter and Mary Jane spend the whole movie sniping at each other and 2) Peter turns into not just an asshat but a dorkish asshat just isn't satisfying. Not to me, at least. The ending is bittersweet without having had anything really uplifting or thrilling before it. The second movie is a good example of a way to keep Peter and MJ apart and have a satisfying ending--and not even a closing! All she's done is leave some guy at the altar! It's not like she and Peter get married or anything! But it's this rush of good feeling, and that's what I want in a summer movie--three or four moments where I can mentally shout YEAH! FUCK THAT SHIT UP! and then feel good when I walk out. Which, you know, now that I mention it, makes me wonder how Order of the Phoenix is going to do. Not that it's not going to mint money, but I start to understand why the Potter movies feel so natural for late fall/early winter--it's easier to deal with something like Harry keening over Cedric's body in November.
(You know, maybe this is why I like Dead Man's Chest so much--it's literally a summer movie, in that it looks like the summer vacation you wish you'd had. God, those beaches. And the last shot is one of the best endings ever to walk out on, no matter what happened five minutes before.)
(Side note: Box office obsession grows.)
Pregnant lady chases pirates at box office. Way to be weirdly literal about the whole thing, CNN.
New promotional pic of Clive Owen in Golden Age. Nothing too exciting, except for the fact that it's Clive Owen, which is generally enough for me.
'Evan Almighty' Director Clashes With Studio Over Advertising, Source Says. Mostly in that there isn't any.
New Trailer for Don Cheadle's 'Talk to Me' Hits the Net.
New Trailer for 'Skinwalkers' Pops Up.
Bruce Willis On Board for 'Die Hard 5,' Admits Dislike for 'Die Hard 2.'
Jack Black Will Star In Judd Apatow's 'Year One.'
The poster for Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There. My understanding is that Cate Blanchett (as Dylan) is second from right, with Christian Bale and Heath Ledger next in that order. Some of the actors listed are playing Dylan; others are playing other characters.
Eli Roth knew he wanted to be a filmmaker after he threw up in the middle of Alien. "But to most fans his name is synonymous with grisly, sexualized horror. That's why a young woman walked up to him not long ago and rubbed her bloodied hand on his shirt as a flirty overture. 'It was so disgusting,' Roth recalled. 'She said, "You like blood." I shouted at her, 'I like fake blood, not real blood.' I mean, c'mon. The bad thing too, she was really hot.' "
Movie trivia from ONTD. "American Psycho: Two scenes featured unexpected improvisation by Christian Bale. When Bateman is jumping rope, he starts to skip and cross his jump rope as a schoolgirl would. Bale surprised director Mary Harron even more by starting to dance as Bateman was preparing to kill Paul Allen. That time, she says in interviews and the commentary, she collapsed with laughter." Even better: "East of Eden: Upon being introduced to James Dean on the set, author John Steinbeck exclaimed, 'Jesus Christ, he IS Cal!' "