Yeah... it's guarana. I checked the back of the vitamin bottle after being completely unable to sleep last night--I actually just gave up and sat at the computer until 4:30 am, that's how hopeless it was. The H!E!M!!1! contains not only guarana but also green tea and cayenne pepper (wait, what?); it's so effective that even after I'd only had a couple of hours' sleep, I went downstairs to let the dogs out, took today's vitamin, lay down on the couch, and was so very, very awake. Painfully tired; BOLT AWAKE. Also, my blood was really loud. But for three days in a row now I've gotten tons of work done and mentally I'm sharp as a tack, so... I'm just gonna have to get used to it.
("This product contains about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee." Okay, no, I can't hold my caffeine anymore, thanks for asking. I kicked Mountain Dew a year ago! Don't judge me!)
(ETA: Since several people have expressed concern, let me just assure you that it's just a very common, mainstream Centrum vitamin, not something exotic off-brand thing I found randomly. It's just that I never drink caffeinated drinks unless I'm in a restaurant or a movie theater, which is, sadly, not all that often. I've taken this vitamin on and off before
Meanwhile, I noticed in audiography that all these entries would be titled, like, "1988," "1989," so I was like, "Oh, cool, some kind of '80s week." And then I saw the actual theme: Birth Year. I felt heinously old until posters finally showed up with some '70s entries.
(My year of birth, dear God.)
Bizarre Parasitic Star Found.
London's Harrods hires cobra to guard £62,000 shoes.
Online sleuths use Google to search for Fossett. My stepfather, meanwhile, theorizes that Fossett is in hiding somewhere.
We expected Britney to maintain a sad ideal:
Then, as Jay Leno heaped fat-joke scorn upon her head on “The Tonight Show,” I felt sad, and paunch-conscious. If Jay thought Britney was fat, then … then … Jay thought I was fat! Shut up, Jay! Besides — the woman’s had two children! Children she chauffeurs around in her lap, but still! Things … stretch out after you’ve introduced an embryo to the former bricks of the abdominal wall!From Jezebel: An email of breathtaking asshaberdashery.
And then my sense of women’s college indignation kicked in after I heard Sarah Silverman’s “two children = mistakes” comment. Dude, Sarah. Support a sister when she’s being shined down by her pleather-sporting backup dancers.
And then I drank, and I cried, because I had been … defending Britney Spears.
How to turn a sock into a Yorkie sweater. With pictures.
Pooped pooch plucked from surf.
Restaurant fires garlic-stomping worker.
Winegrowers take a nearly nude stand for land.
'Most wanted' drug lord caught with pants down.
Best headline of the year: Minnesota Toe Licker Nabbed.
Suspect admits he's the 'Hat Bandit.' Nope... still not as good as the Toe Licker.
Apparently Bucky is now some kind of pimp.
Bits Blog: Please Don’t Marry Our Daughters.
Brand Extensions: Martha Stewart is now all up in the Facebook.
Reprieve for the Pint and the Ounce.
Search inside…my PANTS.
"You know why you haven't read any books by Peter Sacks? Because you're anti-intellectual, lazy, and fascinated by Paris Hilton, that's why."
Disgraced memoirist Frey writing a novel. I'm to the point where I start hissing like a cat every time this guy's name comes up. I don't know why, because it's not like he's saying, "No, really, it's really gonna be nonfiction this time! Really!" I think it's because the nature of his particular deception (I'm a fucked-up bad-ass who kicked hard drugs on my own! You could do it too if you tried hard enough!) just pissed me the hell off.
Nipplegate revisited. I'm still not sure why everyone kept trying to blame Timberlake and/or Jackson herself for this. It seemed pretty obvious to me, even at the time, that he was supposed to rip off a leather panel, under which there would be a red lining, to go with the line "Gonna have you naked by the end of this song." Except that the red lining came off as well. Now, who thought this gesture, as dance moves go, was a good idea in the first place, I don't know, but it seemed to me like it really was a "wardrobe malfunction": the lining was supposed to stay on and it didn't. Look at the accompanying picture, for example: Jackson looks mortified, and Timberlake is wearing the purest expression of "Oh, fuck " that I've seen in a good long time. I mean, look at that face. He knows. He knows that he's just biffed something so badly that people will still be talking about it almost four years later. People, it's time to let it go.
Jon Stewart to return as Oscar host. YAYS.
Blanchett dishes on ''Elizabeth,'' ''Indy'' (bolding mine): "It's phenomenal to be working with Harrison Ford and Spielberg and Karen Allen, all of whom were in one of the most amazing experiences of my childhood, watching that film." O SNAP. "And Harrison looks f---ing great." Heeee.
Elizabeth: The Golden Age Site Live; Elizabeth 3? YES PLZ.
Toronto: Dave Karger on what's Oscar-worthy; ''Atonement,'' ''Universe'' grab day's buzz.
TIFF Review: Margot at the Wedding; TIFF 07: Across The Universe.
Dan Radcliffe on HBP Film: Tragedy of Slughorn Outweighs Comedy. And no, we don't know who's playing Slughorn yet.
Harry Potter Franchise Outgrosses Bond and Star Wars Series... if you crunch the numbers a certain way.
TIFF Interview: Joe Wright Talks To Cinematical About Directing 'Atonement,' Working With Ian McEwan and His Next Period Film.
Keira Knightley on life after ''Pirates'': "I think the bond between actor and director is very similar to the chemistry between actors. It's rare, and when it happens, it's very exciting. And I think it creates — oh, I sound like a wanker!" This is why I love her, people.
An actor's training: Nutcase, weight loss, Batman.
Bello Takes Over In Mummy 3; Image: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.
Three New Posters for '30 Days of Night.'
Love in the Time of Cholera Poster, Possibly by Georgia O'Keeffe.
Final One-Sheet for Richard Kelly's 'Southland Tales.' Whoa, dude--go read the fine print at the bottom of the poster and see who's in this: John Larroquette! Bai Ling! Kevin Smith! Mandy Moore! Cheri Oteri! Miranda Richardson! Justin Timberlake! I kind of don't believe the universe can allow this movie to exist, actually (maybe that's why it's been on the shelf for so long...?).
Spoiler Hancock Set Pic. Huh. That's actually pretty cool.
Roman Polanski Drops Out of Pompeii. Awww, trainwreck averted!
Cillian Murphy Joins Dali & I. In which Pacino plays Dali. Oh God.
Norton and Pitt Reteam for State of Play.
Kate Bosworth to star in Veronika Decides to Die.
David Cronenberg: Drifting Toward the Mainstream.
Ang Lee shares 'Lust' for life, filmmaking; Lee Cuts NC-17 Film So It Can Be Viewed by Chinese Kids. And at--what, five minutes long?--it should be just right for kids' attention spans.
EW reviews: Across the Universe, The Brave One, December Boys, Eastern Promises, Silk.
Return of the King Complete Soundtrack Recordings Nov. 6.
Rambo Declares War on Jan. 25. Okay, look: I know that, against all odds, Rocky Balboa turned out to be decent. But what are the odds that two unnecessary Stallone sequels in a row won't be abominations?
Where are the action hero names of old? Which I include solely for the line, "These were names that were just one step away from being Ballsy McTestes."