My mother really wanted them to cut the surprise party stuff and put in MOAR MONSTAR, but then... she would. I'd read reviews that complained about the banality of the conversation in the first twenty minutes, but... dude, I thought that was the point. (How many parties have these people been to lately?) I thought the whole point was, these people are just as banal and chatty and gossipy as we are, and it's a just another normal night for OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! DID YOU SEE IT?! IT'S HUGE!!1!
Speaking of which, you see way more of the monster than I expected. ( I vote we name the monster Darwin (spoilers)Collapse )
3. This was the closest I have ever come in my entire life to getting up, walking up to the back of the theater, and telling someone to SHUT THE FUCK UP. There was a gaggle of young teens--thirteen or fourteen years old, maybe? About a dozen of them--to my upper right, and then another clutch, a bit older, to my left, lower down, and Sister Girl nearly got up to administer a beatdown herself. The group behind us was the worst: "Ewwww, a NUDIE PART!" (there was no actual nudity); "That was a BAD WORD!" ("douchebag"). There was a long silence in the last, oh, fifteen minutes of the movie, which they spent shrieking inanities (this was the point when Sister Girl actually whipped her head around and half got up out of her seat). The reason I didn't get up--I actually was tempted to just turn around and bellow at them--was because I didn't want to look away from the screen, much less go get a manager. And the fact that I hate confrontation and still wanted to actually fuck their shit up should suggest how deeply obnoxious they were, and I didn't even want to do that to the preteen girls giggle-gossiping and texting their way through Order of the Phoenix.
4. You know how people joke about Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons? Hand to God, I actually saw him tonight. He had two buddies with them, all three of them with carefully nurtured stubble, and as they left the theater, I heard him say, "If they had really done the research, they would have known that an EMP [there was an EMP?] would have erased the entire tape."
5. The Star Trek trailer is bullshit. Don't even bother, if that's what you're going for. It's a bunch of guys in goggles soldering the Enterprise together. There's no footage at all, and it lasts about five seconds.
6. I stayed for the after-credits thing, but I have no idea what it was (I mean, I read somewhere what it was supposed to be, but I couldn't actually hear it) because the Lower Leftketeers WOULD NOT SHUT UP. JESUS H. CHRIST, YOU WAITED THROUGH THREE HUNDRED YEARS OF OVERWROUGHT MONSTER OPERA TO SEE THE CREDIT COOKIE, AND THEN YOU TALKED THROUGH IT? "Hey! Run that back!" STAB STAB STAAAAB.