Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Oscars, part 3

"Please welcome! George Clooney!" Okay, at least Tilda Swinton has one giant sleeve and one no-sleeve. He's here to talk about Great Moments at the Academy Awards: "And the one thing that is always consistent is that it's long--no, that it's unpredictable." And here we have in two minutes what VH1 spent two hours on. OH GOD, OH GOD, ROB LOWE AND SNOW WHITE, HELP, RUN AWAY! Just... go search for it on YouTube, if you didn't see it when I linked it a while back. And then don't blame me if your brain crawls out your ears. (ETA: The link I posted a few weeks back.) And I'm just going to keep nattering on about this until they stop playing "My Heart Will Go On." Amazingly, they do not show The Sally Field Clip, unless Snow White just rendered me deaf and blind.

Heh, here's Jon Stewart watching Lawrence of Arabia on his iPhone. "To really appreciate it, you have to watch it in... [turning phone sideways] ... widescreen."

Here's Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell coming out to the Get Smart theme. Carell "thinks" he's doing Documentary and is very "embarrassed" to discover they're actually presenting Animated. "How many people are watching this? Is it being shown in Belgium?" "Oui," says Hathaway. "Oh, I am so embarrassed..." Ratatouille wins. Man, I'm starting to wish I'd done an Oscar pool this year. Aww, Brad Bird goes into a really cute impression of a guidance counselor who pretty much sounds like Jack Nicholson ("What do you want to do with your life?") and then a younger pipsqueak version of himself ("Make movies!"). Conti softly plays Bird off the stage.

Here's Katherine Heigl, telling us frankly that she's nervous, and she is, in fact, shaking. It's Makeup! Ohh, nice--a side-by-side comparison of Marion Cotillard and Edith Piaf. Thus, I'm not really surprised when La Vie en rose wins, because, let's face it, 1) the Jack Sparrow makeup (which is what the POTC3 clip shows) is nothing new, and 2) Norbit. Seriously: Norbit. Don't play Makeup Lady off the stage! You let Makeup Guy talk!

Wow, we're running along at a clip here: "Happy Working Song." Jon Stewart mentions the songwriters, Alan Mencken and Stephen Schwartz, and at the second name, there is a HUGE "WOOOO!" out in the audience. "That guy's a fan," deadpans Stewart.

Here's Amy Adams (IN BLACK) to sing the song. On the stage. By herself. Wow. They're just gonna leave her hanging out there by herself? Not even throw some scenery out there for her? Ouch. And yet Kristen Chenoweth is probably the one to get the gigantic musical production. No wonder Adams was talking about how nervous she was. If I were Amy Adams I'd be in the backstage toilets throwing up before and after the performance.

Here's a clip of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones talking about their dual Oscar wins. "I just didn't want to lose the baby," says Douglas of CZJ's very pregnant win. I'm still over here stunned that they just threw Amy Adams up there to sing that twee little song all by herself.

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Tags: awards, movies, oscars

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