"Please welcome! The always Fantastic Jessica Alba!" Ah, she was the eye candy at the non-statue tech awards. Sister Girl is very disappointed in her dress, by the way. She asked me to call her if "anything big" happened--she's at her boyfriend's with the TV turned up in the other room while she plays Final Fantasy XI--and I'm telling you, Tilda Swinton was the first time I called her.
Jon Stewart points out that "two pregnant women are here tonight," but "the night is young, and Jack [Nicholson] is here. Perhaps we will re-tally at the end of the night." I have to say... the banter's a little weak this year.
Please welcome! Josh Brolin and James McAvoy! Randomly spouting famous movie lines! "This! Is fun!" intones McAvoy. "What's that from?" "No, I'm just saying, this is fun!" Brolin apologizes to Jack for "the worst Jack Nicholson impression ever done." On the other hand, we did get to hear McAvoy give us his Rhett Butler.
Best Adapted Screenplay! It goes to the Coens! Aww, Sarah Polley. And it's not fair to have Josh Brolin present it! The deck was stacked! The Coens are standing roughly 5000 feet apart. I can't remember which one is which, but one notes that they have only adapted "Homer and Cormac McCarthy," and the other one steps up to the mike and snickers, the end. Oh, Coens, never change.
Here's the President of the Academy. Excuse me, I'm running to the bathroom for a mo. Okay, I'm back. The How We Vote for the Oscars montage is, in theory, amusing. Wow, I am so not feeling the show this year. Is it just me?
"Wow," deadpans Jon Stewart. "That was... amaaazing." He shrugs. "I always thought it was super-delegates." Our next presenter, here to introduce another song: Miley Cyrus. "And NO, I cannot get her to sign anything for your kids!" Let it be noted, by the way, that Cyrus has poise to spare, which is kind of sad given that Katherine Heigl nearly fell apart.
Here's Kristin Chenoweth with "That's How You Know." I like her dress--another neutral, a nice combination of texture and floatiness. You know why I think they got Chenoweth? Not that Adams isn't awesome, but they went with someone who could sing live and do a whole production number in what is essentially one take. It's a nice song, but it's not that great. Huh. I mean, I bet it's a great scene in the movie. Just, hearing it for the first time, there's... not a lot of lyrics there. The leaping-tumbling-tossing construction men do carry Chenoweth offstage, though, which is cute.