Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

  • Mood:

Feeling a bit better

So. lizoraveriam linked to a few helpful programs, and you know what caused the most visible improvement? CCleaner. It got rid of a bunch of cruft left behind by uninstalled programs--I don't know if that solved the problem, as it also sounded very likely that the Charter software was buggy and possibly causing a memory leak, but I haven't been able to find evidence of the wifi itself taking/using up all that much space. So basically, I'm going to leave the computer on--I used to turn it off maybe every week or two, whether it needed it or not, but let it run otherwise. (Okay, answer this debate for me: better to turn the computer off daily or leave it on? I had been told it was better to leave it on, as the shutting down and rebooting was what used it up and "aged" it, or however you want to put it. That's why I'd been leaving it on, at any rate--I've done that with all my computers over the years, and they've all kept on trucking until an actual virus brought one down.) Anyway, after the wifi software was installed, it kept crashing or saying it didn't have enough quota, etc., etc., so I'd turn it off a couple of times a day this past week to try to prevent that. So what I'm saying now is I'm gonna let the computer run on wild and free until it crashes, if it crashes, to see if the quota problem has been resolved. Because, if nothing happens the rest of the week, we're obviously back to normal. And if it does crash, I have a couple of diagnostic programs I can look at now to see what the problem might be.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my grandmother is fine. She's pulled a ligament under her knee really badly--we were hoping she'd actually torn it, because then she would have surgery and it'd all be over faster (which was my mother's experience with a torn ligament). But no, just pulled. They ended up keeping her at the hospital because there was just no way she could get along at home, so she's had an excellent private room and she's going into physical therapy now, possibly at a center very close to our house. (Apparently she has magical insurance, I don't know.) Running back and forth fetching things for her has really worn my mother down, though, and the neuropathy in her (my mother's) feet has really suffered from that nine-hour stint standing in the ER. And of course I got all emo when my grandmother first went into the hospital, because I get anxious about other people's mortality--and because I like to borrow trouble, I started randomly worrying about my mother dying, and how I'm too young to be the head of the family, the lead generation, omg I will never be old enough, you can't put me in charge, omgggggg.

I don't know how to fix this, but I have this problem with stress. I am outwardly very calm--maybe I snap at people a little now and then. But because I grew up in a family where people were always telling me to "look on the bright side" and "count my blessings" and "stop worrying," I learned to outwardly suppress it. Even now, I have a really, really hard time crying, even if I need a release. (The only time I can really get myself to cry is like a fool at a movie or a TV show--apparently if I need an outlet, I just need to watch the first fifteen minutes of the first Narnia movie, or maybe the last fifteen minutes of the Six Feet Under finale, and I'll be good to go.) I'm the calm one, the peacemaker, the diplomat. So of course the stress finds a way to manifest itself--physically. When there's the least cloud on the horizon, so to speak, I fold. Completely. All I do is sleep all day if I can get away with it, I have headaches and upset stomachs, I get dizzy, I break out to various degrees of severity, I can't eat if I have to cook for myself and I eat too much if someone else cooks. And I don't know how to stop it. You can talk about "stress management" all you want, but that's how I got here in the first place--learning to "manage" stress until I repressed it entirely. Although, writing all of this out now, it seems like the way to handle it would be to stop trying to achieve "calm" and try to work towards catharsis--exercise is probably a top candidate for that. So... there you go.

Universal Fire Damages 'Back to the Future' Set; Probe: Film studio fire an accident; What Universal Lost In The Fire.

Rock pioneer Bo Diddley dies at age 79.

Kelsey Grammer suffers ‘mild’ heart attack.

Tatum O'Neal arrested in drug bust.

Who Tricked 'Entertainment Tonight' Into Thinking Angelina Jolie Gave Birth? "And the worst part? This impostor has been sending fake information to the media for the past year. Time to start counting up all those outrageously untrue items!"

Poetic justice for teens who trashed Frost home.

Nabokov Continues to Publish From Beyond the Grave.

Tori Amos leaves Epic Records.

Don’t play koi, u kno I wantz u; engeneer kitteh seeks to undrstand hunam litterbox; Surveys show two out of three kittehs believe in Ceiling Cat; I BEELEV U HAS MAH STAHPLAR.

Mythbuster Reviews Lost Season Finale.

Women pump up 'Sex and the City' to $55.7 million opening.

Re: MTV Movie Awards: After our electricity came back on last night around 7 pm, but our cable didn't, I became convinced that my TV had thrown itself in the path of a bullet to save me, and that bullet's name was Mike Myers. "You are NOT subjecting yourself to that. This is for your own good, you know. I'll be back in the morning."

MTV Movie Awards go on despite blaze; Discuss: 'Transformers' Wins Top Honors at 2008 MTV Movie Awards; The Hater: No Joke Too Old For The MTV Movie Awards. Thanks, TV! I owe you one.

MTV Movie Awards Video: Wayne's World, Tropic Thunder and Pot Smoking; MTV writes marijuana joke for James Franco and Seth Rogen, then wusses out. "Backstage, Franco told The Associated Press that MTV put them up to the joke, even supplying the script, the fake marijuana and the fake joint - then had a last-second change of heart about the bit," panning out so wide that no one at home even had any idea what was going on. " 'MTV wrote it! ... Then backstage there was this big commotion: "You guys can't say that." It says right in the script: "Lights fake joint," [Franco] said."

MTV Twilights out. Again. Some More: The Surprise Visit Of A Lifetime For One Lucky ‘Twilight’ Fan (Guest Blogger is doing her intro and someone... comes up behind her); MTV Guest Blogger Busts ‘Twilight’ Star Robert Pattinson ("Hey, is that your Twilight costume?" "OH SHIT!"); Watch Our Exclusive ‘Twilight’ Clip From The Movie Awards Preshow!; ‘Twilight’ Stars Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart And Cam Gigandet Hit The Carpet; Our Guest Blogger Reflects On Her Star-Filled MTV Movie Awards Experience; Your Reactions To Our ‘Twilight’ Exclusive Clip Begin. Yes, MTV actually asked people to turn on webcams and film their "Twigasms." OKAY PEOPLE, IT WAS A MINUTE LONG AND THERE WASN'T EVEN ANY SPARKLING. CUT IT OUT, YOU'RE MAKING THE HARRY POTTER PEOPLE LOOK SANE. Also: Hey! The Guest Blogger is also from Birmingham! Once again, ladies and gentlemen: Alabama, The Center of the Universe. Meanwhile: Cover Art For Breaking Dawn.

New Half-Blood Prince pics.

'The Dark Knight' featured in July '08 'Empire' (scans).

Burton, August & Depp Reteam on 'Dark Shadows.'

'Horse and His Boy' After 'The Silver Chair'?; Narnia Production Heading to NZ Once Again; Ben Barnes is searchin' for a real love. " 'I'm single right now and I have a movie out,' he told reporters outside the MTV Movie Awards. 'I don't know if that will help.' " I'm pretty sure 75% of the people writing reading this journal right now just blurted out "CALL ME!"

Bryce Dallas Howard instead of Charlotte Gainsbourg for Terminator 4?

trailer_spot: Twilight, What Just Happened?, Gonzo, Australia, Mummy 3, City of Ember.

New Hancock, Wanted and Twilight Clips.

New 'Incredible Hulk' Trailer Both Best and Most Ridiculous.

'Wanted' Soundtrack Features Elfman Score, Vocals; New Russian "Wanted" Posters.

'Where the Wild Things Are' Preps a Month of Reshoots?


Site Meter
Tags: alabama is the center of the universe, awards, batman, books, computers, deaths, family, harry potter, health, lolcats, movies, music, narnia, poetry, stress, terminator, tribulations, tv, twilight
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 42 comments
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →