Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

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Well, I feel better for having accomplished something

I still can't get over The Happening (here in Fifteen Minutes). It's the kind of movie that's soooo bad (HOW BAD WAS IT?) that you desperately want to make other people watch it so they can commiserate with you. Because they are not going to believe you if you just tell them how bad it was. I did make up a few things in the parody... but not enough. The hot dogs? Totally there. Talking to the tree? Totally happened. "Cheese and crackers"? Please, like I could make that up. Jake the hot kid? Unf. (Something I did not render accurately: Elliot doesn't offer to sing--he goes ahead and does it anyway. Because that's how you know he's not toxinated! OF COURSE.) And yet, somehow? The first draft was even stupider. I thought the movie as filmed was a benchmark in anvilicity ("YOU DESERVE THIS!"), but apparently the Power of Our Heroes' Love Omg ACTUALLY, EXPLICITLY SAVED THEM in the original version. Because the trees (who are directed to "WHISPER MISCHIEVOUSLY"), you see, are just like Marky Mark's mood ring and they are "weeding out their emotions" but Alma repented of her extramarital tiramisu in time and really? REALLY?

(You know why last night's discussion entry was [I realize now] an uninspired rehash of things I basically said in the parody itself? Because my brain was dribbling out of my ears at the time. Oh my God, please go see this movie. I can't endure this burden by myself. It's like Frodo carrying the Ring or something. It BURNS US, preciousss.)

Meanwhile: The Legendary Stan Winston Has Died after battling cancer for seven years. In Memoriam: Stan Winston:

Aliens earned Stan Winston his first Oscar. But the visual effects genius, who succumbed to multiple myeloma yesterday at the age of 62, hardly stopped at outer-space shenanigans. Though Winston majored in painting and sculpture in college, and went to Hollywood with dreams of making it as a actor, he found more work on the other side of the lens. In the early '80s, he set up his own studio and worked with James Cameron on the surprise box-office hit The Terminator (1984). The success of that film lead to a fruitful partnership between the two men — notably, Aliens and Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) — and he and Cameron went on to found the renowned F/X shop Digital Domain.

Over the course of his career, Winston earned four Oscars (including two for the makeup and visual effects in T2 and another for the groundbreaking dinosaurs of 1993's Jurassic Park) and multiple nominations — impressive in any category. His other work includes (but is hardly limited to) Predator (1987), Edward Scissorhands (1990), Batman Returns (1992), Interview with the Vampire (1994), Pearl Harbor (2001), Iron Man (2008), and several other films currently in production.

The Tonys Spread the Glory Around; Stars Fail To Shine At The 62nd Annual Tony Awards; Theatre Geeks Weep.

Megan Meier case goes to federal court; Not guilty plea in MySpace suicide case.

Lesbian couple of 55 years ready to say 'I do.'

Associated Press: Unclear on the Concept of Fair Use; The Associated Press wants to charge you $12.50 to quote five words from them. SHHHHPFFFFFFFFF.

Charging by the Byte to Curb Internet Traffic.

Virgin Media cable says that the record industry is in charge of your router configuration.

Batwoman Will Finally Come Out.

Emma Watson to take over Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle from Keira Knightley.

Hugh Laurie gets free Burger King for life.

from not_tragedi: FAQ: So You Have a Demon.

Troy McClure Film or Actual Terrible Movie?

Images: 'Tropic Thunder' pics; 'Ninja Assassin' Photos Contain Dishearteningly Little Ninja Assassining' Clive Owen filming 'The International' in NYC; Wolverine set pics; 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Poster Premiere; New Scarlett Johansson Poster for 'The Spirit'; ‘Sex Drive’ Poster (ah, subtle); Johnny Depp in The Daily Record (I... I'm not sure what's going on here. Is this a set pic from 'Public Enemies'? Does he always drink wine in his knee-highs?).

Trailers and clips: New Wall-E Featurette - Pixar Goes Space Age ("Oscar nominated cinematographer Roger Deakins actually worked on the film as a visual consultant"); Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway Go Unscripted; Vote For Your Favorite Watchmen TV Commercials.

trailer_spot: Death Race, Miracle at St. Anna, Bottle Shock, Diminished Capacity, Clone Wars.

Robert Downey Jr. Will Be Your Huckleberry ['Cowboys & Aliens'].

Marvel Wants DiCaprio, Pitt for 'Captain America.'

James McAvoy Continues Shooting Down ‘Hobbit’ Rumors But Tells Us Who Should Play Bilbo.

Christian Bale: 'The Joker' Did Not Kill Heath Ledger; 'The Dark Knight': The Set Visit.

The Incredible Hulk: The Truth About Edward Norton vs. Marvel.

Astro Boy Voice Cast Announced: " 'Astro Boy' will feature the voices of Academy Award-winning actor Nicolas Cage, Donald Sutherland, Nathan Lane, Bill Nighy and Eugene Levy with Freddie Highmore in the title role."

Watch Out for 'The Thaw'! If the icebergs start rustling at me, I swear, I am outta there.

Vatican bans Dan Brown film Angels & Demons from Rome churches.

Next Movie-Turned-Musical: 'A Fish Called Wanda.'

Eva Mendes Joins 'Bad Lieutenant' - Herzog Says It's Not a Remake.

Before y'all start emailing me the link: See 'Serenity' on the Big Screen and Fight for Lady Power.

Mike Myers: Portrait of the Artist as a Just Another Sulky, Needy Genius.

Fans Of Cult Flick ‘Troll 2′ Invading Tiny Utah Town.

Kate Beckinsale Demands a Booty Double because she claims hers is too big. Judging from the accompanying picture, I am going to say that it is, in fact, 1) proportionally somewhat big and 2) spectacular. May God strike me with an ass like that, and may I never recover.


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Tags: awards, batman, deaths, lord of the rings, movie discussion, movies, stage and theater, the happening, watchmen, x-men
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