Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

More from the Secret Life of Dolls

So I ended up wandering around the Sideshow Collectibles site this morning--I have a few of their LOTR pieces, including a bust of my patron movie saint, Galadriel, who watches over me beneficently from the shelf over my desk. That said, my weakness has always been "figures," twelve inches or taller, usually with fabric clothes, sometimes with molded plastic hair (sometimes with actual wiggedness), better known as "dolls." So of course, that's the section I started browsing. I immediately had a number of interested parties looking over my shoulder.

"Did you ever get around to getting me that Van Helsing?" asks Anna Dollerious. "I hear he likes killing things as much as I do."

"Nope, they're out of stock," I say, quickly closing that tab.

Oh, hee! They have a pretty good Sweeney Todd figure! If they make a Mrs. Lovett, any Mrs. Lovett, I am in so much trouble, you guys. "Does he come with razors?" asks Eowyn!Doll. "YEAH WHAT ABOUT RAZORS?" says Anna.

"He only seems to come with one razor," I say, peering at the photo gallery.

"Well, that's no good!" says Eowyn, swinging Aragorn's crooked plastic sword around. "He'll never put that down!"

"He's supposed to have a whole case of them!" bitches Anna. "I want to play with razors!"

Sideshow Galadriel narrows her eyes. "I really don't think--"


O:< "~I SAID NO RAZORS!!~" >:O

So... that's settled, then.

(Barbie Galadriel just sits on the shelf and doesn't say anything, because Barbies don't talk, silly.)

"Heyyyyy," says Purple Arwen, pointing at the Suparrr-Deluxe Premium Format 20-Inch Sideshow Aragorn doll figure, "I am digging that action right there." Which is kind of shocking, as she's usually so possessive of the Aragorn she's already got. "Oooh, he's got a really big sword," says Eowyn (who is only ever thinking of one thing, really). "And a knife," Anna chimes in (ditto... although it might not be the same thing). I look over at Fugagorn, the Fug of Men. He leans in to get a better look at the pictures. His plastic stubble looks concerned. "Yeah, I... I can't really compete with that," he says. White Arwen and her smushed face comfort him. "Aniron" plays softly in the distance.

"What about her?" says Anna, pointing. "She looks like she knows where the action's at."

"Elizabeth Swann? Hmm. It's just Chinese Pirate Captain Elizabeth Swann-Turner, though. And her hair is plastic." I start flipping through the gallery. "I was really trying to save up for the Tonner Cross-Dressing Pirate Elizabeth... and they both only come with one sword, so there's no weaponry advantage--"

"But Captain Turner is our size," Eowyn points out. "And also, she's a captain, in case I didn't say it loud enough the first time."

"Point taken. I still want Cross-Dressing Elizabeth, though--"

A tiny pistol jabs me in the head. "BUY THE CAPTAIN OR THE EARLOBE GETS IT."

"OKAY, OKAY, GOD. When we have more moneys, I'll get her--"

"Get her NOW!"

"SIMMER DOWN, ANNA, or I'll put you in timeout with the Gene dolls again!"

Anna goes off to fume on top of the CD rack. She hates the Gene dolls because all they ever do is change clothes, and they don't ever have swords or knives or anything.

("Hey, her boy looks pretty good, too."

"And he's got lots of weapons!"

"Down, girl.")

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Tags: barbie, best of, dolls, lord of the rings, pirates of the caribbean, sweeney todd, the secret life of dolls, van helsing
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