Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

FINALLY

All right, look: I got sucked into Days because of my mother and sister, and my mother has me watch it now that it's moved to 1 pm and she can't see any of it on her lunch break, and I have to email her a synopis of what happened. Usually, it's like, "Marlena convinced John she isn't the killer. Again. Belle feels guilty. Again. Sami is crazy. Again. So is Jan. Again." But yesterday and today, we finally got moving on that damn Salem Stalker storyline. If you ever watch this show, these are the eps you've been waiting for--the end of the storyline is here. Also: yes, these are actual emails I sent to my mother. Yes, I ended a sentence with the word "yo." In an email to my mother. She's used to it by now.

Tuesday's email: Well, here's how much respect they still have for the actress who plays Alice: they didn't show Marlena killing her, and when Hope and Bo found her thirty seconds ago, they didn't show what they saw. I can't even be entirely sure that she's dead, except that... dude, she so totally is.

So. Big rain/lightning storm, the power going on and off half the time. Sami got hold of John and is convinced he's the killer and that he's going to kill her mother, and she had a full-bore freakout in the rain and tried to shoot him, and John dodged the bullet like they do in the Matrix. I am serious, yo. And then he handcuffed her into her car so she couldn't go after him, and she spent most of the show shrieking, in a deserted alley in her car, "HEEEEEELLLLLP MEEEEEE! HE'S GOING TO KILL MY MOOOOOTHEEEEEER!" Meanwhile, Grandma Alice is trying to talk Marlena out of killing her. I'm serious, she's feeding her doughnuts and tea and being like, "You know, you don't have to do this. You can still make things right. You still have a choice." Crazy Jan snuck into Belle's apartment and tried to drop a radio into her bath, but Nicole snuck in after her and stopped her (Belle is apparently asleep, or deaf, or both) and hustled her out of there before she got them both caught. John managed to get hold of Bo and Hope and tell them that he thinks Marlena went to kill Alice, and then he saw Marlena drive by so it's probably too late. So they went to Alice's house while John went to catch up with Marlena at their apartment, and he's all like, "I know what you did." The preview showed her throwing herself at him all like, "I'm so sorry! I need help! Ohhh, I'm soooo sorrrrry--HA HA, I HAVE YOUR GUN NOW!"

Wednesday's email: Okay, so, when they walked in, Alice was just sitting at the table nodding over, not dead yet. Turns out Marlena had stuffed a doughnut chunk down her throat and, presumably, held her mouth shut until she couldn't breathe. So Hope and Bo are talking to her and sitting with her until the paramedics come, and she's looking at them and nodding a bit, and [Dr.] Lexie gets there, and she comes back after a while and says that Alice has died (offscreen). Basically, Belle, Shawn, Sami, and Lucas end up at the house, and we have several scenes talking about what a wonderful person she was and how there will never be anyone like her. So you can tell they were trying to sort of honor the actress.

There's a lot of blah blah about Crazy Jan and Nicole, and Nicole and Brady, and Sami and Belle ("You keep your mouth shut about that alibi not being true!"), and Shawn and Belle ("I know your mom can't be the killer, because you wouldn't lie to me about that") and more Sami shrieking about John, and Bo being like, Whatever, freakshow, and a really weird fantasy sequence in which Crazy Jan imagines that she and Shawn are swimsuit-model mannequins in a store window, and they come to life and he tells her he knows she killed his grandfather, and knocks her mannequin head off and feeds it to a tank of piranhas. Yeah, I don't know. Sami runs off to stop John from KILLING HER MOOOOOTHEEEEEERRRR!!!, and Lucas runs off after her.

Meanwhile, Marlena pulls her little "Ha ha, I got your gun!" bit, and she makes John go outside and tells him she's not going to shoot him--she's going to make him jump off the penthouse balcony. John is not so interested in this idea. She tells him to take two more steps back, so he walks towards her, and I wish he had pointed out that she can't shoot him, because then she could never be able to get away with it. He knocks the gun out of her hand, and so she jumps on him and has him against the outside wall trying to choke him, and then Sami runs up and sees them from the ground and is screaming, "Oh my God, it's happening, he's killing my mom! Somebody help!"

You knew this was going to happen: in the struggle, John pushes Marlena away, and she trips and falls off the balcony even as he's trying to grab her and pull her back, so of course it looks like he was pushing her. (I think the writers want us to forget that Celeste [Lexie's psychic mother] specified "John will shoot Marlena," because they haven't used that wording in weeks.) And Sami is screaming, and we have a hilarious CG shot of Marlena flailing as she falls, like, 3000 stories to the ground.

Preview: Lucas finds both Sami and Marlena, both bleeding from the mouth (internal injuries, I assume), on the ground. Which can only mean... that Marlena landed on Sami.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, and I think Crazy Jan has decided to hang herself. That's an awfully professional noose she's rigged up there.
Tags: days of our lives, recaps, soap operas
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