I THINK IT'S DOING THE DAZZLE FACE OMG
YOU GUYS IT'S GOT THE HAIR
(Over on The Shelf, I hear a very tiny, weary, "Oh, thank God.")
Anna pokes me in the ear with her dagger. "You don't have a bigger pic of Sparklepants than that?"
Look, it's not my picture--it was taken by someone who very considerately shared its terrible awesomosity with the world, okay?
"That's the dazzle face?"
"He must be dazzling someone just outside the frame or something."
"I can't believe you actually swooped in and asked that poor girl which company--"
LOOK, YOU WANTED TO KNOW, RIGHT?
"Well, he's definitely not sparkling."
"Hey, like I said, we can make this happen. Clearly he already dazzles, though, and that's what's important."
"To YOU. He doesn't have any weapons! Not a sword, nothing--even the Joker comes with a switchblade! Why don't we get one of him? "
"All right, Anna, that's enough of that. The Joker is much more expensive, and you know I don't like clowns."
"Hey, Edward is fine by me. I'd line up to get dazzled."
"Yeah, YOU WOULD."
Eowyn, that is not a very shieldmaidenly gesture--
"I think we're losing sight of more important things here, such as the fact that even the Edward doll is wearing beige."
"You be nice to that poor boy. That is a very high standard of quality for a figure that inexpensive.* I bet he won't cost much more than we did."
"Does that mean she can afford one for each of us? Because you can always take the beige off--"
("Does this mean I'm a cougar?"
(More from the Secret Life of Dolls.)