Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

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An entry *without* the WTF icon

So my computer crashed in the middle of me footnoting "The Prestige in Fifteen Minutes" (and I had just spent like an hour discussing, uh, who I thought was in each scene--if you've seen the movie, you know what I mean) for the e-book project, which was a buzzkill. Meanwhile, my grandmother's sick (a sinus infection similar to mine, I think, only worse, since she's so frail), she's also worried about her money being with Merrill Lynch (yeah... I would too, right now), Shelby's having stomach problems, my stepfather is having a really, really hard time at work right now, my sister's having to do catering deliveries again and she inevitably ends up getting her car totaled by some nut loose on the street, we're going to have to have a plumber come out and look at the downstairs toilets, Tiny Tim needs a new crutch, and I'm just tired of it all, really. And feeling bad for everyone.

That said, I've already posted twice today and I was very productive (the computer crash aside), so I've got that going for me. Actually, I think I'm cycling back through a manic or hypomanic phase again. I've just noticed that the last couple of days I've felt really jittery--physically anxious, like I've had too much caffeine. It's weird, because I feel it in my stomach, but I also feel it in my arms and shoulders, of all places. I'm afraid it's mania, a step above my usual friendly hypomania, because I feel so "on" and focused that it's like I go beyond "on" and can't focus at all. I'm not running around visibly affected; I just feel like I'm about to step out onstage... all the time. It's that kind of nervousness. And yet I don't know why--my mother was trying to think of reasons I might feel anxious, like, "Maybe you're worried about the podcasts," and I was like, "But they've already come out and everyone liked them fine, why would I be nervous about them now?" So I guess it really is a chemical thing.

The weird thing is that I tried to think back to the last time I felt this "on," and it was probably... hmm, the weekend I wrote the Breaking Dawn recaps. That was at the end/beginning of a month as well. Just out of curiosity, what was I doing at the end of the next month?


So now I'm a little concerned, because I don't know that I've ever actually noticed that obvious a pattern to the cycle before, and I used to have hypomanic episodes a lot more sporadically. After that big one a few months ago where I didn't want to eat for a week, I'm getting concerned that the cycle is changing, shortening, intensifying, whatever. I mean, it's not necessarily bad in and of itself if it helps me write more productively, and in a weird way, I feel like my writing here has gotten a lot better over the course of the summer. (That big episode? It was in May.) I'm not exactly sure why, but it's like something clicked into place and even the basic entries are just better than they used to be, I don't know.

That said, the jittery feeling is unpleasant enough, and just the simple fact that the cycle is changing, I don't like that. If it gets more severe, I could end up with episodes of full-blown mania and... that would be bad.

(This month's caption on the Anne Taintor Calendar of Destiny: "True, there were some side effects." AHHHHHHHHHHH.)

Oh, and apparently Let the Right One In is going to be playing at the Sidewalk Film Festival here in town on Saturday night (!!), although I don't know if I'll be able to go.

Speaking of which: Cloverfield's Matt Reeves Remaking 'Let the Right One In'; Countdown under way for 10th Sidewalk Moving Picture Festival in downtown Birmingham.

More linkspam!

In Egypt, a 3,000-year-old discovery.

Why sled dogs are super dogs ("New research suggests sled dogs are superior to most other mammals, including humans, in at least three key areas").

Blaine 'Disappears' After Stunt; 'David Blaine's Dive of Death' disappoints in ratings.

Does the Killers' 'Human' have the silliest lyrics of the week?; David Cook's 'Light On': Weigh in!

Could This Year Be The End Of Science Fiction On TV?

Rod Serling and New School Sociology Professor Talk UFOs.

Live from Fantastic Fest: Blooming Excess, Adult Sexuality, and Fantastic Debates.

Images: More Set Pics of 'Alice in Wonderland' (hey, the blonde chick in the blue skirt, is that actually Alice? HEY I THINK IT IS, THAT BLUE COAT IS KIND OF LIKE VIOLET'S IN LEMONY SNICKET THIS MEANS THAT COLLEEN ATWOOD IS COSTUMING THIS ONE TOO!! *incoherent squee*) (ETA: first link's members only, second link ought to work); First Stylish Poster for Bryan Singer's 'Valkyrie' (oh, wow, that really is pretty good); Exclusive: 'Synecdoche, New York' Poster Premiere.

Trailers and clips: Exclusive: Trailer for 'The Pleasure of Being Robbed'; Exclusive Clip: Watch Bill Murray’s Grand Speech From ‘City Of Ember’; Another One of Them Dubya Trailers and an Added Bonus; This Movie Will Make You Scared To Touch Unsanded Wood Ever Again.

First 'Quantum of Solace' Review Online; First Look: New 'Quantum of Solace' Photos!; On The Set Of 'Quantum of Solace'; 'Another Way To Die' Music Video To Air During Monday Night Football (Hey, Mom! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE BLOND!); Coca-Cola Zero Zero 7 Website Launched.

George Clooney rumored for the Lone Ranger. With Johnny Depp as Tonto. Uh huh.

Depp is Tonto in Lone Ranger and Word of 'Pirates of the Caribbean 4'; Keira Knightley Sounds Doubtful For ‘Pirates 4.’

'National Treasure 3' Also Confirmed from Disney Meeting.

Miriam Margolyes to Reprise Role as Prof Sprout for 'Deathly Hallows'; PotterCast 166: Terminus Part Two; Battling Voldemort 101; Daniel Radcliffe puts the spurs to his role in 'Equus.'

Spike Lee manages to pull off a 'Miracle' with WWII film; 'Miracle at St. Anna' could use some divine intervention.

In-your-face 'Eagle Eye' scopes out familiar terrain; Fantastic Fest Interview: 'Eagle Eye' Director D.J. Caruso; View Before Viewing: ‘Eagle Eye’; Shia LaBeouf: ‘I Live In A Fishbowl’; Shia LaBeouf won’t be charged in car crash.

'Choke' tries to throttle viewers with its outrageousness; 'Choke' Star Sam Rockwell On Sex Addiction, Going Full-Retard and How to Follow 'Fight Club' (classy, there).

Viggo Mortensen and his shotgun.
Fifty inches long and weighing 11 pounds, the eight-gauge initially was a turnoff for Mortensen when shooting began on "Appaloosa."

"When I first had it, I said, 'Do you really need it to be an eight-gauge, Ed?' "

... [Then] Mortensen started lobbying for a bigger role for the gun, which sent dogs and horses running the first time he shot it outdoors and which rattled the windows and floorboards when he test-fired inside a saloon. "I said, 'Ed, you know, I think I should even have it indoors. Even if I'm being friendly or if I were buying some fruit or getting a haircut, I always have it with me,' " Mortensen said.
I would ask what he's trying to compensate for here, except that I'm pretty sure that Viggo Mortensen's manhood is not the least bit in question. Also: Viggo and Cronenberg teaming up again?

Fan Made: The Dark Bailout; Closeups of the Harvey Dent makeup from Cinefex.

Guillermo Del Toro Set To Pen Vampire Novels.

Edward Norton Denies Involvement In ‘Fight Club’ Musical. Every movie ever made is going to be a musical someday, you guys. Every single one.

Steven Spielberg Options 'Chocky' -- Kind Of.

Anne Hathaway is in 'The Opposite of Love'; Anne Hathaway Doubtful She and Meryl Streep Will Ever Slip Back Into ‘Prada.’

'I Am Legend' Prequel Moving Forward; Making a Case Against an 'I Am Legend' Prequel.

Why Rachel Weisz Didn't Do 'The Mummy 3'? "In fact, I never even read the script, because it was going to be, I think, five months in China, and it was just out of the question that I could do it straight after The Brothers Bloom," because of her young son. Because Rachel Weisz is classy, she did not add, "And I really dodged a bullet there, huh?"

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Tags: alabama is the center of the universe, alice in wonderland, annotations, anxiety, batman, bipolar, birmingham, bond, books, film festivals, harry potter, hypomania, let the right one in, movies, music, pirates of the caribbean, scifi, shelby, sister girl, the prestige, theater, tribulations, tv, vampires
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