Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Upcoming movies

I am so focused on movies in production that--lately--I've been totally at a loss when those movies just "suddenly" come out. It's like looking so far ahead down the road when you're driving that you don't even notice when the car ahead of you stops. Therefore, a rundown of movies coming out this month, courtesy Greg's Previews at Yahoo, who I still fondly remember as "that guy at Upcoming" It's a feature I used to do on the Digest, but it's easier to do it in my journal on Semagic. Or something. Whatever.

April 2, 2004
• Hellboy
• Home on the Range
• The Prince and Me
• Walking Tall
• Gypsy 83 (limited)
• Shaolin Soccer (limited)
• The United States of Leland (limited)

As far as I'm concerned, Home on the Range represents the final barrel-scraping of the Walt Disney company. A lot of people are stoked for Shaolin Soccer, on the other hand. Walking Tall is a waste of good remake energy (and that's saying a lot). United States of Leland has been delayed so very long that I'm suspicious. The Prince and Me may as well be a vending-machine Twinkie: same old same old, but sometimes you just need the sugar. Hellboy looks the most appealing to me, but maybe that's because I've been brainwashed by CHUD's continuous, twenty-four/seven, eight-month pimp campaign. (Well, they did it for love rather than money, so I can respect that. BUT STILL.)

April 7, 2004
• Johnson Family Vacation

April 9, 2004
• The Alamo
• Ella Enchanted
• The Girl Next Door
• The Whole Ten Yards
• I'm Not Scared (limited)
• Shade (limited)
• Since Otar Left... (limited)
• Twentynine Palms (limited)

Wow, already with The Alamo? I feel like I've been hearing about this so long that... well, I had a vague idea it was coming out in August. Haven't heard very good things about it, unfortunately--a rave from Liz Smith, and rumblings of "mediocre" from everyone else. And what's The Whole Ten Yards, the sequel absolutely nobody wanted? As for Ella Enchanted--Vladimir thought it looked darling, but I saw a commercial the other day that focused almost completely on the oh-so-magical special effects. The crummy, crummy, oh-so-magical effects.

Wait, The Girl Next Door isn't out yet? God, I've seen so many internet ads for that I was sure it had come out by now.

April 16, 2004
• Connie and Carla
• Kill Bill Vol. 2
• The Punisher
• Klezmer on Fish Street (limited)
• MC5 * A True Testimonial (limited)
• Young Adam (limited)

Hurrrrr, Ewan McGregor. I read that Young Adam got an NC-17 for an entirely clothed sex scene. That's talent, y'all.

Hmm... GOD, THE PUNISHER. Does this mean I never have to see that trailer again?

I am glad that Kill Bill's coming out on DVD, because I never did see it in the theater, and wasn't even interested until I read the script (the whole thing, dating from before the movie was split in two), and really liked the second half. Much more emotional than I would have given Tarantino credit for. Anyway. It's out there online, if you want to search for it.

All I have to say about Connie and Carla is that, while I love Toni Collette--she makes entirely too good a drag queen. (Nia Vardalos just looks hideous.) Oh, and Duchovny: Don't you feel vindicated, knowing that you dumped the X-Files for your fabulous movie career?

April 21, 2004
• This So-Called Disaster (limited)

April 23, 2004
• 13 Going on 30
• Man on Fire
• Close Your Eyes (limited)

Vladimir is absolutely chomping at the bit to see 13 Going on 30, because he loves Jennifer Garner. The LOTR folks on my f-list--and God knows there's a ton of you--may be interested to know that Andy Serkis is in it (I think he plays her boss...?). Man on Fire sounded utterly blah, and then I saw the trailer, and... I don't know, there's something about it that I can't quite put my finger on. I don't even know if it's a good something. Of course, I can't deal with children-in-jeopardy flicks, even if the children is Dakota Fanning, so I'll probably take a pass regardless.

April 30, 2004
• Envy
• Godsend
• Laws of Attraction
• Mean Girls

Envy has been delayed so many times that I am completely suspicious. However, it's Jack Black and Ben Stiller, so I'm sure it'll make a mint. Godsend has been flying pretty low on the radar--that's odd for a DeNiro movie, even a small one, but all right. Laws of Attraction--God, this is just a horrible weekend for movies, isn't it? This is so blatantly Julianne Moore's bid to pay the rent. I'm not saying she can't do fun, popular movies--I'm just saying that she doesn't really look like her heart's in it.

Oh, and Mean Girls now holds a special place in my heart as "Snacky's Law: The Movie."

Coming up in May: Van Helsing, the Olsen twins movie, Troy, Shrek 2, The Day After Tomorrow, and another godforsaken Kate Hudson romcom. It's squee for the whole family!


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