Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones
cleolinda

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The worst TV show ever, srsly

So I had another nightmare, and this one was horrific. In the dream I was watching some kind of TV show that started out being kind of Mad Men-ish in a way I can't really articulate, but there was definitely an executive-type guy, but then his young son was being bullied at school and he was trying to get home to him, and the car kept falling apart and gasoline flooded everywhere and it was like the gasoline was going to spontaneously combust, so he's running around trying to get it off and then the tire falls off the car and you know, this part was weirdly funny, I don't know. It was very definitely the South, with a lot of hot dusty little dirt roads and the car's hubcap falling off and rolling around and then the door just falling off and someone (a mechanic?) is trying to drive this guy home in this car falling apart beneath them, it was so weird and inappropriately funny (given what happened next). So then the executive gets to a police station instead of his house and he starts saying he abused the son? Although it seemed clear that he hadn't? But it was like he was trying to save him from something or take the blame? And then they brought the son in and he'd been beaten to death and had his face crushed in? And then someone else was brought in with his face and skull crushed in as well, and he was black and it seemed to be some kind of racially motivated killing? It was related somehow? I don't even know? And this was terrible (WHAT KIND OF TV SHOW IS THIS?), and we go back to the guy's house where his wife (very '60s housewife type) has found out that her son was killed, and she goes up the stairs in the dim house to the boy's dark room and opens the door because she thinks, she knows, something's in there, and there is something: a big laughing blue-and-purple legless salamander demon floating in a cloud all like, I TOOK YOUR SON BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IN ME, and then it floated down the stairs and ate the family cat and something else, I'm not sure what it was. Some kind of cuddly little ghost/demon thing in an empty fish bowl, I don't even know (it kind of reminded me of the little Shadowchild in Digger, only it was a custard color--definitely "was," because the purple-blue salamander demon ate it. Shouldn't have looked all custardy, I guess), and then it floated out the door all smug but you got the distinct feeling that the wife was going to have to worship it now so it didn't eat anything else, and I think there was some more but it was so bad I kind of blotted it out, and then the show was over and I had to go online and write a recap for someone? Like, someone else who was supposed to write a recap but they asked me to do it, the way you'd ask someone to write a school paper for you? And every time I tried to look at any web page, this site with a viral video of the worst parts of the show would hijack my browser and I'd have a hell of a time getting it to close. And then I'd go to all my bookmarks and all my favorite sites (which were all somehow Yahoo directory pages from, like, the late '90s) had been bought out and changed to things that didn't help me at all. Like, one page was supposed to be a news/directory page about TV sites (this would be helpful, right?), and instead it was a page all about the horrible TV show, and then I tried to go to "Foreign News" (I guess... this would have been news from around the world?), and instead it was a page all about the horrible TV show, and then I tried to go to a page about toys from the '80s (what?), and instead it was VIRAL VIDEO! VIRAL VIDEO! CLOSE THE TAB! TAB WON'T CLOSE! AHHHH PEOPLE GETTING THEIR SKULLS SMASHED IN! LEAVE ME ALONE LAUGHING SALAMANDER! WHY ARE YOU MY FAVORITE COLORS? I don't even know how it ended or how I managed to wake up. I'm not even going to the dream dictionary site. I don't even know where to start with this one, or how.

(Yes, I actually had a nightmare about the internet. I think that's a personal first, right there.)

In case you're wondering, I'm posting this separately because I don't want to freak out the innocent people who come to read the Twi-spam. If they've read Breaking Dawn with the vampire c-section and all, they've already suffered enough.


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Tags: dreams, wtf
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