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Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Catchup spam, regular and Twi
twilight vampire movie

Welcome to the big time, baby.

THAT'S ENOUGH, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. So... he's had three covers in one year now? Of course, Twilight's probably the one thing right now guaranteed to move magazines at the newsstands in this shitty, shitty economy. I guess it makes more sense in that context.

And you know... I don't write about things that I don't want to write about. But sometimes I write about them more, if I know that's what people want to hear about, than I might have otherwise. And I know people want to hear about Twilight, for example, because I get emails every day asking if I've seen this link or that video and what did I think about it and so on. Seriously, I get that over and over: "I can't wait to hear what you have to say about it!"--run it through the Cleomatic 3000, as it were. (Ironically, most of the Twi-spam I post is stuff I found myself on Google Reader, which is how I feel most comfortable doing it. I guess it just seems ridiculous to be like, This Link Was Brought to Our Attention, Let Us Give You Our Official Statement Now. Not that I don't appreciate the contributions... look, it's complicated.) And I do that all the time--I've never watched Pushing Daisies in my life (and I didn't want to start midstream; I'd like to give the DVDs a try), but I post links about it because I know a lot of y'all do. So linkspam tends to be a mix of things I'm interested in and want to show you, and things I think you might be interested in, whether I am or not. You don't ever want to get to the point where you're just flat-out pandering to a perceived audience. But... I kind of feel where EW is coming from.

(More from EW: 'Twilight': A hater's guide. Okay, number one: Two paragraphs of "IT SUCKS" is not a "guide." You're not telling me anything. Number two, EW gets thoroughly pwned in the second comment : "You know what would be even better than this rant? A cessation of all articles on this movie.")

Summit gently hints at the possibility that Taylor Lautner (Jacob) might be recast. You know, Lautner's a cute kid. Which... is kind of the problem. You can't stand him next to Sparkles (particularly not in that hideous wig) and expect anyone for one moment to think that Bella might feel conflicted. And I have no idea how they would make him look seven feet tall and hugely built. At the same time... I doubt they'll actually recast. I think the diehard fans are probably attached to him now.

Also: "For now, only Pattinson and Stewart are sure to live on in Meyer's fantasy world. The two young stars, neither of whom banked on this sudden explosion of fame when they signed on for the movie, are currently limping through the last lap of their American promotional tour. (After a brief Thanksgiving rest, they'll gear up again to spread Twilight fever across Europe.)" And now you know why Kristen Stewart was photographed sparking up on her front porch.

(Stewart is openly not handling interviews well. When Robert Pattinson is managing better than you are, you have problems. Problems I totally understand.)

Meanwhile, the already-infamous Tyra episode where Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner judged a pie-eating contest for girls who got trampled in the San Francisco riot (the whole thing is just as WTFy as it sounds) aired today, and let me tell you, it is the funniest thing ever, if you can find video of it. (ETA: Ta da! Now with Volvo presentation!) The girl who won LOST HER FOOL MIND the moment the guys walked out--forget when she actually saw what her prize was. And what was it? The Vampire Volvo of Great Justice. YEAH IT WAS. And I haven't even told you about the guys' horror when Tyra presented them with girls' underwear. Or how Lautner talks about how a woman asked him to sign her own underwear (which she was wearing at the time) at the movie's premiere. "Yeah, she was in her forties." "And how old are you? In your twenties?" "... No." "THAT IS DISGUSTING!"

'Twilight' Stars Kristen Stewart, Cam Gigandet, Nikki Reed, More Talk About What's Next (subhead: "Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene reunite; Edi Gathegi goes 3-D; Jackson Rathbone concentrates on music"); Two new 'Little Ashes' clips (Pattinson was originally going to play García Lorca rather than Dali? Huh).

And finally, the news (well, speculation) I think y'all really want: Could Twilight’s Success Pave the Way for a New Buffy Movie?

Meanwhile, we're just going with the choicest linkspam of, oh, the last umpteen days I didn't post:

Worker dies at Long Island Wal-Mart after being trampled in Black Friday stampede. DAMN.

Patrick Swayze Says Goodbye After Cancer Resurgence.

MySpace Trial, Day 4: Sarah Drew Says Megan Meier "Was My Best Friend"; Conviction on lesser charges in MySpace case.

Polar Bears Won’t Mate - for good reason!

John Updike and Rachel Johnson Win Bad Sex Awards.

Ten of the Kinkiest Science Fiction Books You'll Ever Read. ("Silly and pulpy, the first novel in the series is basically a swashbuckler with kinky bondage thrown in between sword fights. Also, there is a giant flying cat." Also: OMG TOUCHED BY VENOM SHOUTOUT.)

What to Get Your Favorite Mad Scientist for the Holidays [Scifi Gift Guide].

15 Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else Ever Has Or Will.

Woman who inspired 'Contact' still listening.

Il Divo spreads 'popera' across the world. My mom loves them, by the way.

Hugh Jackman Hits Broadway As Harry Houdini.

Monster 'True Blood' Post!

Law & Order's Heath Ledger Story Nothing Like Actual Heath Ledger Story.

12 upcoming remakes of Hollywood sci-fi classics; 84 comics being made into films.

New Clive Owen Photoshoot; Odette Yustman in Rolling Stone magazine; New Camilla Belle Photoshoot; Amanda Seyfried photoshoot for Entertainment Weekly; Oscars: Best Picture favorites; 1993 Best Actor, 1993 Best Director Oscar: Want a do-over?

Images: First Look: Christian Bale and Johnny Depp in 'Public Enemies'; Terminator Salvation's Explosive Full-Motion Poster Debut; NEW PICS: ‘Ben Button’, ‘Underworld 3′, ‘The Reader’, ‘Wrestler’, ‘Wolverine’ and More; Exclusive: 'The Reader' Poster Premiere!; Oh Shit - Badass Poster for Liam Neeson's 'Taken'!; 'He's Just Not That Into You' or This Lazy Poster; Fan Made: Hilarious Movie Poster Anagrams.

Trailers and clips: 'Wolverine' Trailer Confirmed for December 12!; Extra Special Star Trek Trailer Launches Online!; Trailer for Clive Owen and Julia Roberts Starrer, ‘Duplicity’ Arrives; First Trailer for Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler's 'The Ugly Truth'; 'I'm Just Not That Into' This New Trailer; Exclusive 'Wanted' DVD Bonus Feature Clip; 'New in Town' Trailer; Movie Trailer: What Doesn't Kill You; Can Dr. Zoidberg Save Fry's Life In New Futurama Movie?; 'Black Dynamite' Trailer, for All You Jive Turkeys.

trailer_spot: Duplicity, Black Dynamite, New in Town, Adventureland, Star Trek.

From stardustshine: More 'Coraline' Boxes of Mystery. I was the coolest person at Thanksgiving dinner when I brought out mine, so--thanks, guys!

'Quantum of Solace' Tokyo Premiere; Daniel Craig Bonds With Tokyo; Daniel Craig On Shaking And Stirring James Bond; 'Quantum' Costume Design By Louise Frogley; Diddy Blows $750,000 on 'Bond' Audition Tape.

'Watchmen' Release Date to be pushed back???

Real Life Muggle Quidditch Is Sweeping The Nation (this is not really news, actually); Happy Birthday, Alfonso Cuarón.

'Australia' Bombs?; Australia: "Overblown, Utterly Preposterous And Insanely Entertaining" [Critical Mass]; Review: 'Australia' weighed down by artifice; Forgive ‘Australia’s’ excesses, revel in its sweep; 'Australia': The EW review; Forget ‘Australia,’ where is the ‘America’ epic?; 'Australia' stars bask in Baz Luhrmann's vision; Exclusive: Australia Director Baz Luhrmann; Baz Luhrmann Wants To Give The Future A Makeover [Exclusive].

Interview: Emile Hirsch on 'Milk,' San Francisco, and More!; ‘Milk’ does James Franco’s body good; Review: 'Milk' is a terrific film; Cinematical review: 'Milk'; ROS Movie Review: Milk (2008); AVC film review: 'Milk'; MTV’s John Norris Reflects On Importance Of ‘Milk’ Biopic; Cinemark Boycott Extends Specifically to 'Milk'; No Openly Gay Leading Men in Hollyweird Explained.

Curious case of friendship for 'Button' star Pitt, director Fincher.

Tom Cruise, Future Razzie Winner?

Yes, They're Still Making 'Butterfly Effect 3' [Why Is This Movie Being Made].

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That someecard is so very true (well in some pictures of him any way.) I haven't seen the movie yet but if what I have read on this blog and the comments is ture then there is a lot of sex without any actual sex. Which should be interesting.

It is really interesting to discover that Kristin Stewart isn't handling the interview thing very well. And she's an apparent druggie? Well her rise and (apparent) fall were very fast.

And I completely agree with the person who commented on the photo of her on her porch. It really hasn't made her all that more interesting.

Did you have a most sparkly turkeymas?
I ended up trying to explain Twilight to a coworker. I stopped when she asked if Edward was a mummy.


Yeah, mine was okay. The side of the family I'm close to is pretty small (and nearby), and we get together for every single holiday and pretty much do the same stuff every single time. It's very low-key. Although my sister did make a new cranberry-orange sauce.

WOW! A LOT going on in the world today! Jeez!

Anywho, how was your Thanksgiving?

Eh, it was okay. We're a pretty low-key, close-knit family. : )

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I actually liked the sparkles. I was so afraid that they would go the overboard, disco-ball route that what they ended up with seemed understated and tasteful to me. I'm weird though, so maybe that has something to do with it.

First of all, that Tyra clip is awesome like hot dogs. Second, I am far more surprised that RPattz and KStew haven't been seen injecting heroin directly into their eyeballs yet than I am to see her smoking weed. And third, I think if they re-cast Jacob for the second film, there will be terrifying riots with lots of hair-pulling, screaming, and blood-covered sparkles, followed by mass groundings and allowances withheld nationwide.

The only thing funnier than that Tyra clip would be the clip of the second half, where the girls actually have to fish around in cream pies with their faces for some kind of jelly bats to win the contest. And then when they take the winner out to the street to surprise her with the Volvo, she screams so hard that RP just leans over the trunk convulsed with laughter.

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my dad died of pancreatic cancer, and from what i've learned then i'm amazed swayze lasted that long. but i wanted him to pull through.

Motion seconded.

Edited at 2008-11-28 10:30 pm (UTC)

I'm starting to religiously check your LJ as much as I check ONTD. Your linkspam + ONTD makes me feel very updated. hahah.

That ten kinkiest books thing has a link to a review of the MOST HORRIFYING BOOK EVER WRITTEN. Touched by Venom = epic Do Not Want. (Mind you, I'm only going by the review because I haven't read the book, but I still want some bleach and possibly a spork, to paraphrase one of the comments from the review.)

Edited at 2008-11-28 09:22 pm (UTC)

I tried dropping this into an email to you, but your inbox must have been temporarily overtaken by a horde of squirrels or somesuch and it bounced, but if you're interested: an interview with True Blood's co-producer Raelle Tucker.

Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. Did you try the @livejournal address? That might be a problem with LJ itself, they've been buggy lately.


This icon is my new favorite, BTW.

I read the EW blurb and was kind of annoyed about what it said about Sephora ("apparently, that's a lipstick emporium of some sort.") Step off, jack. No one talks smack about the source of all that is glittery.

The guy trampled at Wal-Mart--that's kind of weird. I thought retail was supposed to be crappy on Black Friday this year. I was thinking of heading for the mall--including Sephora--because I'd read elsewhere that several businesses I like might be in trouble, including Pier One and Cost Plus World Market. After reading that, I changed my mind.

I thought Pattinson was in his twenties? Anyway, I'm not sure why it's more disgusting that a forty year old asked him to sign her underwear. Maybe I just think that because I'm forty-four, or maybe because I think it's inappropriate for anybody to ask someone to sign your underwear, especially if you're wearing it.

I don't know why Taylor Lautner would be recast. The girls at the showing I went to were screaming for him, not RPattz, and surely they can just make him work out like whoa.

I don't blame Kristen Stewart. If it were me, I'd be slamming back capirinhas.

Sorry, duh, I just realized you said it was Lautner who was asked to sign undies. Yeah, that's really bad. BLECH.

And finally, the news (well, speculation) I think y'all really want: Could Twilight’s Success Pave the Way for a New Buffy Movie?
Haaaa. I know Kevin, and he's totally hilaritized that his wishful thinking article has generated so many other articles with absolutely no basis in fact or anything.

Well, that's me pandering to the Buffy fans in the house. ; )

I hate you now. I've been talked into seeing Twilight.

Patrick Swayze :-(

Damn you 2008!

I just got back from the movie, and while I thought it was fine, the part that cracked me up at an inappropriate time was when Edward was sucking in the venom out of Bella and Carlisle told him to stop.
He looked like the fat kid getting caught stuffing his face with ice cream, one half embarassed and the other half not wanting to stop.
I laughed so loud that three people told me to shut up in the theatre.

What's also funny is if you watch the way her screaming/moaning changes after he starts sucking the venom out. As someone--I want to say it was a commenter here--said, it's like she (metaphorically) "comes so hard she passes out."