Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

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Happy New Year's!

So: I have two questions for you:

1) What are you doing tonight? (Or, if you're already past midnight in your time zone, what did you do?)

I'm watching the Twilight Zone marathon* and maybe I'll find something alcoholic later, but I doubt it. I think there will also be some really good frozen pizza (I'll have to look and tell you what kind it is). For some reason, I am completely content to do this almost every New Year's.

Oh, and I also want to do a little more cleaning this evening, maybe a couple more loads of laundry. I know that sounds crazy (if you know me), but I like the idea of going into 2009 with a little symbolic housecleaning.

* You know what I love about the Twilight Zone marathon? No matter how many episodes I actually get to see, no matter how many marathons the Sci-Fi Channel gets in during the year, there is always one episode--at the very least!--that I have never seen before.

2) What are your New Year's resolutions (if you have any)?

I'll tell you the truth: I don't. This is going to sound terrible, but I am not good with deadlines and I am not good with goals. Like, psychologically, the idea of I am supposed to accomplish this just makes me shut down. I mean, in terms of long-term goals. So basically, I make resolutions and I don't follow through on them and then I feel terrible. So what I'm going to try to do instead is make some lifestyle changes. Just, you know, I'm supposed to do this every day, and if I don't, well, sucks to be me because I'm still supposed to do it tomorrow as well. I mean, nothing too terrible--drink more water, for example. I'm quitting Mountain Dew for this express reason (it helps that lately, it hasn't tasted very good to me). To be honest, this particular lifestyle change is motivated by vanity: my complexion's totally gone downhill since I started drinking soda again. Maybe it's the caffeine and/or sugar; maybe it's the water I'm no longer drinking instead. I don't know, but I have a feeling more water can't hurt.

So it's that kind of thing. Another reason I'm cleaning is that my workspace is so trashed that even I can't stand it now, so once I get it straightened up, you know: put in an effort to keep it that way.

(Something else I want to do is waste less time on the internet. I mean, yes, I spend a good deal of time online; fine, whatever. But if I find myself just faffing around with nothing to do, surely I can kill time more profitably offline? Read a book or something? Learn to knit like I keep wanting to do?)

I will say this: I notice that I get the most accomplished when I follow--well, "the beat of my own drummer" is probably too cheesy a way to put it. "Follow my bliss," maybe. Which is not to say that you can just shunt the hard work or the discipline aside. But I notice that the best things have happened to me when I was just doing something because I loved doing it, with no thought of anyone else noticing. I mean, there does come a time (and it's most of the time) when you have responsibilities and things that have to be done. (Someone once defined "dharma" that way--not specifically as "duty," but as "that which must be done." I like that, somehow--the zen sound of it strips away the eat-your-vegetables baggage of "duty.") My point is, though, that I think I've done a pretty good job of following my bliss this year--maybe too good a job, at the expense of the discipline part. So I've got to look for a way to balance bliss and discipline, because I'm coming to realize that I can't function without the former, but I don't get anything done without the latter. So, you know. Something for me to think about.

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Tags: new year's, philosophical ramblings, twilight zone
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