Hm. So. New Year's Unresolution lifestyle changes. As much as I don't want to carve anything in stone, I do think you have to change your thinking to a certain extent, which does require constant, focused effort. One thing I've noticed over the last few months is that I've been really cranky and snappish and jumpy with people IRL. I'm not sure why, but I really do feel this tangible sense of irritation that just kind of leaps up my throat--it's like it starts with this tightness in my shoulders and then just goes RAAAAA SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING out my mouth. (Of course it's only with the people I'm closest to; it's your family who always ends up taking your shit.) It feels a lot like being thirteen years old again, which: ew. So I am consciously trying to be more mellow. This isn't a New Year's thing per se; I've been trying to work on this for about a month now and I'm not making a lot of headway, which is why, of course, I should keep working on it (rather than quit). I'm not sure what it is exactly that's changed, or if I need to take up yoga or meditation or recreational drinking or what, but an increase in mellowosity re: my interpersonal relations is something I am definitely working on. I had a moment earlier today where I managed to choke down a particular burst of irascibility, so that was good.
I am also working on being more awesome, although this is a bit more nebulous as goals go. This kind of has a whoa-dude zen connotation in my mind, so it's like, if you weren't awesome today, that's cool. To err is human; to be awesome is totally righteous. Reach for the stars, dude.