Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Yesterday, I emailed my mother a very short, snippy, "Fine, you want barebones? You got 'em" recap. She loved it. I give up.


Brady House. Bo plays the "It's urgent that my granddaughter call me" message from Alice. Hope tears up. Kids' apartment: Belle is emailing Shawn. She hears a knock and opens the door, but it doesn't seem to be Shawn. Sami's apartment: Lucas escorts Sami home; Will is worried about Sami. Hospital: Celeste shows up to offer her condolences. John tells Lexie and Celeste about Marlena's counter-accusation. Celeste says there's a way to get Marlena to tell them the truth. Opening credits.

Brady House: Hope's upset that the message never got to her. Bo points out that they now know John was telling the truth about Alice calling him, but Hope isn't sure that's a given. They go through the evidence, and Hope brings up the spectre of John's possible guilt. Enter Shawn, who wants to crash at home, since Helle Kewpie betrayed him.

Kids' apartment. It's Philip at the door with Chinese food. Belle asks him to go away.

Hospital. John's like, "Marlena truth what?" Celeste basically says she can touch Marlena and try to read her mind. Weirdly, John is not down with this. I would think he would jump at the chance to get his ass out of the fire, but you know, okay. He is way too into this Eternal Love of John + Marlena 4EVAR thing. Commercials. Do they just put commercials after every three scenes or what? Oh, and Ella Enchanted still looks like crap. Fans of the book may not be happy with this one.

Sami's apartment: Will brings up the Lucas-pushing-out-of-the-way (but-still-into-the-path-of-her-plummeting-mother) bit. I maintain that Will is wayyyy too interested in his parents' sex life.

Helle Kewpie. Philip insists that being alone is the last thing Belle needs. I insist that Philip is being a dickhead. And this is from someone who wants them to get together. Philip says he can't eat Chinese without tea--what is this show's obsession with tea? Also, Philip insists that he knows Belle better than anyone, because he remembers what she liked on her sandwiches in kindergarten. Belle rightly points out that this is bullshit, considering that she is no longer in kindergarten.

Brady House. Hope tells Shawn that they're not sure if Marlena is the killer or not. Shawn thinks that Marlena being innocent means that he and Belle can work through their problems. I think he is missing the point.

Hospital. Arguing about reading Marlena's mind. John shouts that he should have been the one to fall off the terrace. Lexie and Celeste tell him that that sounds like a confession. 'Scuse me while my eyes roll out of my head. Commercials. We actually made it through four scenes this time.

Sami's apartment. Will: "You know, this isn't the first time Dad's saved your life, Mom." Flashback to the bizarro rescue of Sami from the tiger on Will's camping trip that nearly ended up in Lucas and Sami getting it on after Sami bonked her head running away from the tiger and regressed back to Happy Wifey Sami (just trying to catch y'all up). This isn't the first time I've wanted to thump Will, either.

Helle Kewpie. Philip inadvertently got Shawn's favorite kung-pao chicken. Go Philip.

Brady House. Shawn shows his parents the Irish wool rings. Seriously, these rings have not been lucky for either of the boys.

Hospital. "Uh, John, why should you have fallen off the terrace?" John says because then no one would know that Alice had called him. Lexie (this is her wedding anniversary, btw) flips out and tells John that if Marlena is guilty and he hadn't told anyone, more people would die and OH MY GOD JOHN GROW A PAIR. Ah, but "God help me, I love her." Commercials. Four scenes.

Sami's apartment. "You know why I saved your life, Sami, right?" "Yeah, because of Will." "Well, there are other reasons..." "WILL, YOU NEED TO GO TO BED NOW." I'm sayin'. Considering that it looks like Dad might get some, Will goes quietly.

Helle Kewpie. "I'm sorry, this means you can't ever eat kung pao again?" Whoa, Philip, simmer down there. Belle recaps the lying about Marlena's alibi for the audience. Philip recaps the Shawn lying about Crazy Jan's baby thing, which I needed to hear (apparently he wasn't, but did "the wrong thing for the right reasons, just like" Belle), because...WTF? Belle ends up saying she thinks that she's lost Shawn for good. Philip moves in for the comforting hug.

Brady House. Hope brings up the Crazy Jan Baby thing, too. Shawn points out that nobody died because of his lie. Hope says she doesn't want Shawn to stay there. (Bo's like, Woman, what's your problem?) Hope says he should go talk to Belle and not "hide his head in the sand."

Hospital. Lexie plays the Marlena Killed Abe card. John points out that Marlena confessed and then recanted, clearly missing the point of why someone guilty would recant. Celeste says it's all the more reason to mindreaderize Marlena. Commercials. I am still baffled by the unholy union of Bob Dylan and Victoria's Secret.

Sami's apartment. Lucas has warm milk and honey for Sami, just the way her grandma used to make it. I'm shocked it isn't tea. Sami shoos Lucas off to his own apartment. They banter about Sami getting dressed in the morning. Then he starts to leave, and she says, I swear, "Where are you going!?" And Lucas is like, "Woman, are you stupid? You just told me to leave!" "When have you ever done anything I told you to do?" She asks him to spend the night. THANK YOU JESUS JUST DO IT ALREADY.

Helle Kewpie. Philip is trying to bring up more stupid things Shawn has done. He tries to bring up the game show they went on (?) and they ended up on a prize date together, and Belle's like, "Oh, he wasn't jealous, he knows nothing would ever happen between you and me." Oh, BURRRRRN. And then he brings up some ISA mission Belle went on with him and whaaat?

Brady House. Hope preaches reconciliation. Ohhhhh no she di'in't--she just played the "Grandma Alice Would Want You To" card. Exit Shawn. Bo's not happy. He adds that he's positive Marlena's the killer, and that if he were Shawn he could never forgive Belle. Commercials.

Sami's apartment. Sami is waiting in bed while Lucas checks on Will. Lucas offers to go back to his apartment and get sweats if sleeping in his boxers bothers her... what? Oh, shit, they're actually going to sleep. People! What is wrong with you? Where is the bom-chicka-wow-wow?

Helle Kewpie. Philip advises Belle to be patient and wait for Shawn to come around, which means he's a bigger man than I would be. Belle points out that one of her parents is the serial killer, so she's screwed either way. Philip puts on Belle's "favorite tunes," a phrase which here means "really bad elevator techno." Shawn's at the door and he hears them laughing.

Brady House. Love is all that matters blah.

Hospital. John asks about the possible consequences of "mind-melding." Celeste says learning about the future will make the suffering of the past pale in comparison. Well, let's do it then! Suffering for everyone! John says fine. (Yeah, I know that sold me.) While Lexie and John discuss their mutual regret and disbelief over the whole situation, Celeste has apparently initiated the mind-melding process, and stands up and gasps, "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Commercials. I'm waiting for the second half of this exclamation to be, "... SHE'S LOCKED ME OUT OF HER MIND!" You know, nothing that would actually tell us anything.

Brady House. Love is a many-splendored thing. Bo and Hope get all fired up about arguing. Lord, maybe somebody on this show will DO IT, ALREADY. Heh--Bo swings Hope up into his arms, and Hope turns off the light with her feet. Nice.

Helle Kewpie. Belle and Philip reminisce about high school pranks and Belle being in love with Shawn. Philip is understandably thrilled about this conversation. Belle lays down the You Are the Best Friend Ever smack. Enter Shawn to find Belle hugging Philip. Ah, that old plot twist.

Sami's apartment. Lucas is "nervous about being with [Sami] like this." Dude, like what? She's injured and letting you sleep in her bed because she refuses to take painkillers and you're not getting any. What are you nervous about? ...Aww, dammit, Sami's ranting about John again.

Hospital: Celeste says Marlena is innocent. Lexie and John are suitably shocked. John says he knows who the killer is, that he's just figured it out, and he's got to run. (Hey, could we ask Celeste what she saw?) Marlena smiles a tiny smile of evil to herself. These people are all insane.

Preview: Jennifer and Patrick come home to find Julie sprawled on the floor. Shawn is holding something--I'm not sure what, it looked like two thin rings, and then it kind of looked like blond hair--and says to himself that he can't forgive Belle. Philip tells Belle that she has a secret admirer, and that he admires her. Knowing Belle, he may not have put two and two together closely enough for her to figure this one out. Oh, and we get an extended glimpse at a honky-tonk-goes-Vegas fantasy starring Bonnie Lockhart. MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
Tags: days of our lives, recaps, soap operas

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