So I put "Sell doll on eBay" on my LJ to-do list. This proved to be my undoing.
I think it really went to hell when I pulled out the box itself and propped it up against my desk--it's still in a thick layer of bubble wrap, but you can make out the art on the box itself. I think that's what caught Eowyn's eye, because she knows what Toy Biz boxes look like--she came in one, after all--and she knows that the FOTR dolls (like Purple Arwen) came in green boxes, while the TT dolls came in red. Like this one. And on her way to get a closer look at the box--which was, after all, on my desk--wanting to know who I'd been hiding from them all this time, she... saw my to-do list. And then she managed to get a look at the box art. And then she screamed.
"YOU'RE SELLING ME, AREN'T YOU?"
"JESUS, EOWYN, DON'T--"
"WHY ARE YOU SELLING ME? WHAT DID I DO?"
"Honey, no, I'm not--I would never--"
"DON'T LIE! THAT'S MY BOX! YOU'RE GOING TO SELL ME!"
"IT'S NOT YOUR BOX!"
"THEN WHY IS MIRANDA OTTO ON IT?"
Purple Arwen was the first Toy Biz doll I bought, so she's been here from the beginning, and she knows: "I think it's time you told her."
"TOLD ME WHAT? TOLD ME WHAT?"
"Eowyn, honey--you know how I had to get all of you" (the LOTR dolls; she knows what I mean) "off eBay? You remember how hard it was to get everyone? I mean, even you were talking about how hard it was to track down White Arwen, and--"
"OKAY, OKAY! My point is, sometimes you bid on multiple items in case you lose one in the final countdown! And what happened was--I ended up with two of you."
You see, the bubble wrap was so thick, and the box was so dark (as closed boxes tend to be), that--even though it's got one of those little plastic windows in the front--she hadn't noticed that anyone was actually inside it.
I don't think I can properly describe the look of horror on her face at this point.
"I have a twin? Oh God, is this like The Unborn or something?"
"No! It's not--it's not really a twin, actually, it's more like a--you. Another you. So technically, that is not your box. Yours is in the attic with everyone else's."
"Great, now you've done it."
"You can't sell me."
"JESUS CHRIST, I'M NOT SELLING YOU!"
"But you're selling her! And she is me!"
"Look at it this way--what's worse, her selling Not You, or Not You sticking around? Getting in your way? Competing with you for everything?"
"... oh God."
"See! This is why I never took her out in the first place!"
She starts kind of rocking back and forth on her heels, arms folded tight. "I don't really know--how to feel about this. I mean--she's me, and she's in there, but--she's me, and--ohhhhhh. I don't feel so good."
"Look. I put her on eBay, you get an Edward Dollen. And a sword."
Well... then. That was easier than I expected.
So I'm thinking what I'm going to do is take some pictures of Eowyn so you can see what she looks like, thereby leaving Not Eowyn mint-in-box for whoever wants to buy her. I've got the Golden Globes blogging today, so if I do that, she (Not Eowyn) wouldn't go up until later this week, but I have pretty much resolved myself to do it--what now?
"Look, she's really kind of messed up about this--"
Look, I know, okay? I didn't want her to see it! And don't tell her about the whole Faramir thing, okay? I don't want her to get her hopes up in case that doesn't work out.
"Well, see--what I was thinking was--don't you have Susan's weapons around here somewhere?"
Susan's--? Oh! The collectible things from the first Narnia movie! In the box!
"Right, right. Aren't they 1:6 scale? Wouldn't they pretty much be perfect?"
But--what if I get Queen Susan like I wanted?
"Do you really think you'll be getting a Susan any time soon?"
"Besides, Susan's a queen, she can put on her big girl panties and deal. Go on, give 'em to Eowyn. Even just for now. She's the only one" (she jerks her head over in the direction of Anna and Elizabeth, who are taking turns shooting Anna's pistol) "who didn't come with any kind of weapon at all."
You're right, you're right. I'll see if I can pry them out. Hey, how's Aragorn doing?
She winks at me right before she skips off back to The Shelf. I'm really just not even going to ask.