(I just found ridiculous misspellings in last year's first SAG entry. OW, IT HURTS.)
A giant chandelier welcomes you to the Screen Actors Guild awards. "I'm Somebody Whoever, and I'm an Actor!" Yes, I know, that's WHY WE'RE HERE. Eva Longoria, in coral, auditioned for something, I don't care. Victor Garber played Tom Sawyer! Phylicia Rashad's first job was at age eleven (holy God, that's a lot of paisley). Tom Cavanaugh's mom was MEAN. God, I wish I had caught the Indian actor's name. And I'm too busy facepalming over that lapse to pay attention to Jenna Fischer. Will Arnett is hilarious ("I've talked my way out of eleven fights this year. I cry more than most women. I look in every mirror, and if I don't have one, a car window or a dark picture will do"). Steve Carell is talking about the Hudson River pilot...? "It's a good thing I was not behind the controls of that plane, because I am Steve Carell, and I am an actor."
Rosario Dawson (fabulous white/silver dress) and Jack Bauer! Downstairs, my mother swoons. Female actor, comedy series! Tina Fey wins. I am not entirely on board with her black dress--it's short and strapless, which is fine, except that the bust is weirdly tight in the wrong places and unflattering. She had fellow nominee Tracey Ullman's album on her giant Walkman and listened to it every day! Her daughter puts on makeup and announces that she looks "like Barack Obama" ("I don't know where she got the idea that it's good to look like a politician")! IT'S ALL GOING SO FAST!
Freida Pinto (in a fantastic flowy periwinkle blue dress) and Dev Patel with a Slumdog Millionaire clip.
Kyra Sedgwick (white bustier, black skirt) and John Hamm, sounding nervous. The nominees are bendy and of indeterminate age like Chinese women's gymnastics team: male actor, comedy series! Alec Baldwin wins. I'm not sure why Kevin Bacon is shown laughing and shaking his head... with his sunglasses on indoors. "I don't know who I want to make out with more," Baldwin says, "Tony Hopkins or Diane Lane. Seriously, he looks fantastic." I laughed, and yet I thought the same thing when I saw him coming in on the carpet. What did happen to him?