(Zombie Edward sold separately.)
"So what you're saying is, we're now dealing with two completely different Edward Dollens."
"Which one are you going to paint sparkle?"
"I think it should be the one with the sunglasses. I mean, he would be outside, after all."
"HE SHOULD STAY THERE, TOO!"
Look, guys, I don't even know that I'm going to get both of them. We have to prioritize here, and I'm having a hard time deciding--hit me with some thoughts.
"I really don't know which one... I mean, he's got the sunglasses, which are awesome and you wanted to get some for the other one anyway, but the sunglasses don't come off, but this one does have superior Hair, and... do we have to decide now?"
"Get Faramir, see what he thinks!"
Faramir Two is getting on with everyone like a house afire--he can talk braids with the girls and swords with the boys. Faramir One sleeps in his box at night, curled up inside my headphones listening to various versions of "Wicked Game."
"Well, clearly this one's less of a shambling horror, but, like you said, his sunglasses don't come off, and the eyes being the window to the soul and all..."
"HE HAS NO SOUL!"
"HE DOES TOO! PROBABLY! HE'S VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT THAT!"
Don't forget that there's the issue of Bella. You can't get this one unless you get the Bella.
"She's what, seven inches tall? ... I could take her."
Faramir Two looks over warily at his--brother? twin? self?--huddled up in his box reading The Two Towers. I somehow have about five different copies of the Lord of the Rings books, so I lent the smallest paperbacks to Faramir One. I think he's trying to figure out how things are supposed to work out. Of course, Tolkien didn't really pay a lot of attention to the details of romance; Faramir One was trying to get some advice from Fugagorn, who just pointed out (rather bitterly) that he had to read appendices to figure out what Purple Arwen's deal was, and now she's off with Helm's Deep Aragorn.
("It's cool, though. White Arwen's a lot more chill anyway.")
Anyway, Faramir Two's promised to help Faramir One with the whole Eowyn situation since he (Two) gets along with her so well. "You don't really want either of them, though, do you? You're so much better than that. Don't you want someone your own height?"
"You mean, like you?" And everyone laughs in a clubby, knowing way. We were all a little concerned at first that Eowyn might fall for Faramir Two like this was an episode of Three's Company or something, but somehow he made the fact that he was not so much interested in girls (he likes girls! he loves them! just... yeah) very clear without ever having to announce it. In fact, I think that's why Eowyn likes him so much--he's nice and fun and completely unthreatening, whereas Her Dignity felt the need to shut Faramir One down on sight. I've come across them talking late into the night--I think I heard Eowyn confiding some of her Aragorn issues to him one time--and she's trying to get him to read Twilight but I don't know how well that's going to work out.
"Although, Edward is a pretty sharp dresser. At least hold out for the tall one--you can't even get the clothes off the action figures."
I think Faramir Two and I need to sit down and discuss strategy.
(More from the Secret Life of Dolls.)