Best Actress montage, lots of crying and thanking. Please welcome! Sophia Loren! Shirley MacLaine! Halle Berry! Nicole Kidman! And Marion Cotillard! And there's a cheering, whistling, standing ovation just for them showing up. (Hey, aren't both Sophia Loren and Nicole Kidman in Nine that's coming up?)
Anne Hathaway for Rachel Getting Married (2008)
Angelina Jolie for Changeling (2008)
Melissa Leo for Frozen River (2008)
Meryl Streep for Doubt (2008/I)
Kate Winslet for The Reader (2008)
MacLaine gets Hathaway, whose eyes are shining with tears in the audience, and she laughs when MacLaine tells her that she has a beautiful voice; you see her mouthing "Thank you! I love you!" Cotillard, who is rocking another sparkly midnight blue gown (a belted ballgown), rhapsodizes over Winslet. (Man, how bad would it suck if you got someone you hated and had to kiss up to them for three minutes solid?) Now, Halle Berry: "I was lucky enough to make a small independent movie..." Wait, why are we talking about you? She's here to talk about Melissa Leo. Eventually. (Beautiful gold detailing on black dress, though.) A befrilled Sophia Loren puts her hand on her hip and starts going to town on behalf of Meryl Streep. And here's Nicole Kidman talking about Angelina Jolie (who has a giant emerald ring in addition to those earrings. Damn, girl).
Kate Winslet wins. Thank God, y'all. She wanders through the aisle hugging people while everyone else gives her a standing ovation and then she huggy-kisses all the actresses on stage. Once again, she is panting ("Okay, that fainting thing, Penelope?"). She talks about how she used to give Oscar speeches in her bathroom as a child ("Well, it's not a shampoo bottle now!"). "Dad, whistle or something, then I'll know where you are!" I thought she was joking, but MAN, can her dad whistle, let me tell you. Aw, and she thanks Peter Jackson--man, I remember loving Heavenly Creatures as a teenager--and Emma Thompson among a sea of other people. And she does remember to thank her "wonderful husband and children" rather than Leonardo DiCaprio, and thanks the late Anthony Minghella and Sydney Pollack, and her fellow nominees, "these goddesses": "I think we can't believe we're in this category with Meryl Streep at all!" The other women laugh.
Help, my hands are so tired.
Best Actor montage! Please welcome! Robert DeNiro! (Sir) Ben Kingsley! Anthony Hopkins, who is also a Sir, but doesn't get pissy if you leave it off! Adrien Brody! Michael Douglas!
Richard Jenkins for The Visitor (2007/I)
Frank Langella for Frost/Nixon (2008)
Sean Penn for Milk (2008/I)
Brad Pitt for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler (2008)
Douglas gets Frank Langella, who I will tell you now I remember very fondly as my first Dracula. DeNiro gets Sean Penn: "How did he do it? How did he get all those jobs playing straight men?" Big laugh. I also like how he namechecks Spicoli. And how Penn (who is red in the face from trying not to laugh out loud) "gently reasons with the paparazzi." "Not that I'm a fan of Googling," says Brody, "but if you Google the career of Richard Jenkins," and Jenkins looks up with as much befuddlement as I did right then. Hopkins gets Brad Pitt--haven't they done at least two movies together? Aw. He calls him "a truly great character actor," which I think is probably the compliment Pitt would have wished for the most. (Sir) Ben Kingsley gets Rourke ("Randy the Raaaaam... the Wrestlerrrr"), and through the whole thing, Robert Pattinson is sitting square behind Rourke's right shoulder, desperately trying not to look into the camera. I actually would not put it past the Oscar producers to focus on him on purpose. Awkward.
And the winner: WHOA SEAN PENN! WOW. I'm not saying it's a gigantic upset, but I'd personally thought it was going to be a deathmatch between Langella and Rourke, and so did Penn, apparently: "You commie homo-loving sons of guns! I did not expect this." And "I know how hard I make it to appreciate me." Heh. He did scribble a few things down "in case you did turn out to be commie homo-loving sons of guns..." He preaches a sermon on equal rights for everyone (and good for him), while screenwriter Dustin Lance Black watches on with wet eyes from the audience, and thanks the country for being willing to elect "an elegant man." Also: "Mickey Rourke rises again, and he is my brother!"
Back with Hugh Jackman: "Please welcome the man I've been trying to impress all night with my fake Australian accent: Steven Spielberg!"
Shadow and movies and light and it's almost 11 pm, do you realize that? I really thought you people were going to bring this in on time... ish. We were doing so well, and then it's like, we have four awards left and suddenly they take ten minutes each or something. Here's a montage of the current best picture nominees with former winners (mixed in with The Reader: Lost in Translation, Schindler's List, and... The Graduate. Somehow they managed to put the Forrest Gump clip FAR AWAY from Benjamin Button), and the winner this year is...
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Ceán Chaffin, Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall
Frost/Nixon (2008): Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Eric Fellner
Milk (2008/I): Bruce Cohen, Dan Jinks
The Reader (2008): Anthony Minghella, Sydney Pollack, Donna Gigliotti, Redmond Morris
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Christian Colson
... Slumdog Millionaire. The entire cast, kids included, crowds onstage. I actually haven't seen any of these five movies yet, so I'm pleased for them in a theoretical way--so many people love this movie, and it seems like a feel-good kind of thing, and it was clearly a work of love for the entire cast and crew. So, you know. Good times.
And now we have a look at movies of 2009: Sherlock Holmes, Public Enemies, Up, The Taking of Pelham 123, Julie and Julia, Fame, The Soloist, Terminator, 500 Days of Summer, Funny People, Amelia, Whatever Works, Inglourious Basterds, Night at the Museum 2, Monsters vs. Aliens, Harry Potter and Half-Blood Prince, Angels and Demons, Old Dogs, The Boat That Rocked, An Education, State of Play, Imagine That, G-Force, and not much of any of them. So if you waited up for that... that was kind of a bust.
Now, if you will excuse me: I have to go ice my hands.