Camille does not come with a user's manual.
I am serious, you guys. There's one of those quick-start foldouts and it's like, "1. Plug in the computer. 2. Flip the power switch on the back. 3. Press the power button on the front." The end. Like, it says this in 56 different languages on the back and the front, but... that's all it says. There are three discs, but I don't know what they are, and one seems to be a recovery disc and the other's "Nero 8" or something and I don't even know what the third one is. I turned on everything and it took me to a black screen with that real DOS-y looking print that said "Press DEL to setup," and it took me to some screen where--you know how you hit F10 to get to somewhere that you can put the computer into safe mode? (BIOS settings?) That scary place I never, ever go? Yeah. It looks like that. I don't know what to do with that.
So I'm currently on the ASUS troubleshooting page, but I'm not seeing a category for Here's How to Turn the Fucking Thing On Since We Neglected to Give You a User's Manual, Sorry About That. Next possible step: calling people.