"Ladies and gentlemen, the star of the upcoming comedy The Beaver: Jodie Foster!" Wow. That was not how I expected that sentence to end. P.S. FIERCE. P.P.S. LEG. P.P.P.S. Black. Mark it down on your gown-color scorecards. She's here to present the clip from The Hurt Locker, which I still really need to see.
Gervais: His glass looks a bit fuller now. "Honestly, I like a drink as much as the next man. Unless the next man... is Mel Gibson." I don't know who that was in the audience laughing with her hand over her scandalized mouth, but: yeah, pretty much. Gibson good-naturedly slurs "Good evening." Best director! GOOOOOOOOOOOO (not saying it not saying it) ARGH JAMES CAMERON. Not saying it was supposed to make Kathryn Bigelow win! If I can't make things happen with the power of my mind, then what's the point of even having a blog! "We should have done this in our neighborhood, [Gibson] lives right next to me," says Cameron. "Frankly, I thought Kathryn was gonna get this." YEAH SHE WAS. P.S. CUT YOUR HAIR. Ah, Jesus, he thanks his cast in Na'vi. OY. (Can I just tell you that the Very Important Line "I see you" is hysterical to me because that's what I've always said to my dogs when they start jumping on me, or pawing at the door to go out, and I am trying to indicate that they are communicating effectively in their own doggy way but they really need to chill the fuck out? "Scout! SCOUT! I see you, okay! I SEE YOU! WE'RE NOT GOING OUT FRONT RIGHT NOW." And that's why I kept laughing at inappropriate moments in Avatar. If a blue catgirl said it to me, I'd assume she wanted me to change her litterbox.)
Olivia Wilde and Kiefer Sutherland! My mother is not watching the Globes because it is JACK BAUER POWER HOUR tonight. Best comedy series: Glee.
Commercial: When in Rome, the premise of which seems to be "Kristen Bell can't break a vase." I'm glad we focused on that.
The cast of The Hangover, including a terrifyingly face-tattooed Mike Tyson. They allow him only to say, "This is The Hangover!"
Please welcome! Reese Witherspoon in navy blue, one shoulder! This is pretty much the only instance of blue I have seen all night. Best comedy/musical! The camera keeps looking over at Meryl Streep. The Hangover wins. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I mean, I know Nine didn't turn out so good but REALLY? Director Todd Phillips: "We didn't expect this!" NO KIDDING. "I'd like to thank my mother, who encouraged me to become a director after she realized I wasn't as smart as my two sisters."
IT'S A COMMERCIAL
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