Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Hope for Haiti #2

Ladies and gentlemen! Leonardo di Caprio! (I'm sorry! The liveblog habits die hard.) He quotes from a doctor's online journal entry. It is kind of harrowing. I am starting to reconsider this whole liveblog thing. The donation link is, by the way. And then he says something about "help Haiti heal," which I am going to take as a psychic shoutout to the podathon tomorrow.

@particle_person: Did DiCaprio just say "Doctors use...a hacksaw instead of a scalpel to remove a leg." A scalpel? For a leg?

Stevie Wonder, and a ton of people standing in the shadows around him. I'm actually kind of hoping they're not all famous, because there's no way in hell I'll be able to figure out who all they are. What I'm hearing, though, is that Clooney ended up with so many famous people, he didn't even know what to do with them all. We're a good bit into "Bridge Over Troubled Water," though, and nobody's stepped f... oh, here they are. The lack of closeups leads me to believe they are a very nice, talented, non-celebrity choir. Blessings unto you all.

"My name is Wyclef Jean" (THANK YOU) "and I am Haitian." Oh, someone help me, what's his foundation? Here we are, Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund. They are watching in Haiti, he says, and speaks in Creole for a bit. I... I took Spanish.

"I'll Stand by You," sung by... not Chrissie Hynde. This chagrins me a bit. It's a bit warblier than I like my "I'll Stand by You," because the original version sounds like Chrissie Hynde will actually stand by you and possibly kick some ass while she's there--okay, it IS Shakira, that particular lower timbre had her up there as my prime suspect, but the hair threw me off, okay! It's not what I remember her looking like! She's not hip-shaking, I DON'T KNOW.

"Great, well, this is Reese Witherspoon... we are gonna have an operator get on the line and take your donation, and thank you so much..." Ahhhh, that's how they're doing it. She actually sits on the phone and chats with this guy about the great energy in the room for like a full minute.

Back to Anderson Cooper with the director of the House of Children. "Everything they need is gone or in short supply... one night, they had to protect the children from armed robbers," who were looking for food. Good God.

@wonderella: Mel Gibson you are on live tv, get your finger out of your ear for god's sake #187799HAITI
Okay, look, Clooney. You're donating a million dollars. You can spare a couple thousand for chyrons to tell me who these people are. Fortunately, I DO recognize John Legend, because he sang at the Oscars last year, THANK YOU. This is really lovely, actually--look for it on iTunes.

Wow, it is weird not having audience applause. I'm almost tempted to start clapping myself, just to JON STEWART! YAY! I... that was... yeah, that's a glee that gets killed off pretty quickly with a speech that includes the phrase "Grief... is everywhere." "They sent text messages from underneath rubble saying, I am here. I am alive." One of the problems--probably inherent to telethons in general--is that they're playing to our everyday, happy-go-lucky desire to be entertained--I mean, that's the whole premise of this show, here's all your favorite celebrities, so tune in and donate some money and you get to talk to them while... Haitian people are trapped, starving, in rubble, right now. It's... yeah.

Aaaand while I was writing that, I missed a musical performance.

Celebrity Phone Bank. Wow, was that Spielberg? I think I saw Pierce Brosnan back there somewhere. We didn't just have that conversation about the uncomfortable pairing of celebrity and tragedy at all or anything. Samuel L. Jackson: "TONIGHT. WE WANT YOU. TO GIVE." I am pretty sure if he went door to door that he could probably raise about ten million on his own. Like, just this weekend. Also, I like his black leather beret. I think I will hit post now.

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Tags: haiti, tv
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