Please welcome! Guild president Ken Howard! A shot of two actors leaning over to talk to each other as they clap, proving that not even the actors pay attention to award-show presidents. "Hi, George. You look a little tired. Been up to something recently?" Clooney laughs (he's referring to the Haiti telethon last night), but actually looks a little sheepish for being singled out. Bless. He also wants to thank our armed services and the other entertainment unions (UNION! UNION!). The president asks for your help with Haiti again, and cut back to Clooney again, bent over his table, looking grim. I don't even know.
Sandra Bullock is here (black, sequined dark blue. Mark it off on your scorecards) to present a Lifetime Achievement Award to Betty White, who everyone thinks is amazing, except... "Me, I find Betty White annoying. I'm sorry. It's true. Betty, you make me feel bad. You make me feel like a slacker," she says, mentioning that White had four different shows called The Betty White Show. "Most people, they'd stop naming shows after themselves after the third time. Not Betty. 'Dammit, we're trying this again.'" Big cheer after a mention of The Golden Girls. P.S. White won an Emmy (Bullock flings her head back in exasperation). And now we go into the Stuff This Person Did montage, except that it's actually narrated by an announcer. It's really weird--in a good way--to see and hear her all young in the '50s. And it's really, really thorough--aw, she was in The Proposal, that's why Sandra Bullock is presenting this. Here's a clip with a wedding dress: "I'm a bit chesty to begin with, and I was knocked up when I wore this." Yeah... Betty White saying off-color things will always be funny. I'm sorry, I'm not even being sarcastic. Bullock hunches way over the microphone: "Okay, this is Betty's height. Dear Betty..." Aw. White is in sort of a sparkly turquoise with accents of (say it with me) dark blue. P.S. Sigourney Weaver looks fantastic, and I really want to see the rest of Nicole Kidman's dress. Standing ovation! White: "From the bottom of my heart and the bottom of my bottom..." On Bullock: "Isn't it wonderful to see how far a girl as plain as she is can go." Also: "I have two passions: acting and animals. Actually... I may have more than two passions... but that's none of your business." (Cut to Morgan Freeman laughing.) She ends by saying that this is the most important honor in her life, and there's another standing ovation. Aw.
Death March of Deathly Death up next, y'all.