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Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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SAG Awards #6
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Welcome! (No please?) Morgan Freeman! Wow, we only have twenty minutes left. Bet you're regretting that twenty-minute montage of comedians NOW. Best supporting actress! Apparently the Nine ladies are all backstage, as evidenced by the Nominee Reaction Shot of Penelope Cruz--I guess they're about to go present a clip? A big WOO after Mo'Nique's clip; in fact, Freeman reluctantly (?) says, "Aaaaand... the Actor goes to... Mo'Nique." Apparently he busted open the envelope during the showing of clips. (I'm not sure why the camera keeps cutting to a sad Steve Carell all night.) Mo'Nique kisses President God on the cheek; she gets up to the podium and says, in very stately tones, "Wow." *CHEER* "There are some people I must thank, who might otherwise be overlooked," such as the Each One Teach One students, and producer Lisa Cortez, and "the little girl we called Mongo," Quishay Powell.

Please welcome! The Penelope Cruz Consolation Crew! Seriously, I would have loved to have seen their reactions backstage. Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman, and Kate Hudson, with Cruz in black. I have to tell you right now, I LOVE Nicole Kidman's dress. I'll have to find a picture of it, it kind of reminds me of a mosaic on top, but it's mostly gold. Cotillard is in a short, cream-colored feathery thing--normally she shows up in some kind of ballgown, so that's interesting. (Yes, they are here for Nine.)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME MERYL STREEP. Sadly, I think she is sober. I... like the cut of her dress (long sleeves, deep V-neck), but... this is another pattern (green and white) that's hurting my eyes. Best actor! Wait, where is--oh, wait, that's right, Christoph Waltz got supporting actor a while back. Jeff Bridges wins, with a standing ovation. Yeah, just go on and etch his name on the Oscar, I think. "WHOA! This is a heavy thing!" It's like a big family and whoa it's like, it's like, it's like a big family and his mom was good at that, and he loves being an actor and getting into the shoes of other folks... "Please wrap it up?" On the side of the stage, you hear T-Bone Streep go, "Don't do that!" "You did the best one!" he says, referring to the Globes. Heh. The Dude continues to abide for about ten more minutes and makes sure to thank every acting teacher he's ever had, it's awesome.

P.S. His wife is in dark blue.

Ladies and gentlemen! Please welcome! Warren Beatty! Best actress! Helen Mirren's clip is awesome, by the way. "You are a stone-hearted BITCH of a daughter! I lost five children! WHY COULDN'T ONE OF THEM HAVE BEEN YOU?!" Sandra Bullock wins. Really, the acting categories are not the least bit in doubt this year, are they? "Oh... if only this were not televised, so I could use the appropriate words for what I am feeling right now... Hi. I am Sandra Bullock, and I am an actor." She thanks the Guild and the director and the cinematographer ("If you saw what I looked like in the morning and what I looked like onscreen...") and a passel of costars. Also, her husband: "You dress up in monkey suits for these things and I leave you there and I come back and you've got Morgan Freeman's email, I don't know how you do it! I love you so much, and you're so hot, and I want you so much!"

Ladies and gentlemen! George Clooney! He did an episode of The Golden Girls in 1987? He thanks Betty White for "her discretion." "A friend told me that she was a bobcat in the sack. She just sat down, she's going to come hit me. By the way, I don't like Jeff Bridges either." Best ensemble! Big cheer for Precious--but the award goes to Inglourious Basterds, who the announcer-not-host (can I just say that I didn't even notice we didn't have a host until someone pointed it out?) says is sixteen actors strong. Eli Roth takes the mic and thanks Quentin Tarantino on the cast's behalf, and how Quentin Tarantino gathered them all from Ireland and Austria and the Fangoria convention, and how your vote is a vote for Quentin Tarantino, and basically they are in love. Thank you, and good night!

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I found Sandra Bullock's speech actually kind of normal. I don't know why I like her speech when I found Drew Barrymore's annoying. I just did.

George Clooney made me laugh, I must admit that. And Helen Mirren's clip was indeed awesome!

drew barrymore is getting annoying to me also...

My friends and I are forgoing the SAG Awards for The Pregnancy Pact on Lifetime (SO HILARIOUS, OMG), but I am also reading aloud from your liveblog during the un-funny parts of the movie, so thank you for your amazing liveblogging equipment.

Troy is on tonight, too. If I ain't getting any RDJ on the SAGs... I am going with Orlando


I loved George Clooney's introduction of the nominated movies. "Precious, based on the novel Push by Sapphire. An Education... based on the novel Push by Sapphire."

Heeee that made me crack up.

I think I love Sandra Bullock a whole lot right now. :)

I love Sandra Bullock more and more, I really do.

No Country for Old Men: FOR OLD MEN, NO COUNTRY. There Will Be Blood: BLOOD WILL BE THERE. And someone came up with An Education: SHE HAS ONE.

ell to the oh ell

Thank you for doing these, Cleo! I am mostly drunk on organic cider, and watching Depressing Television, so it's nice that I can escape into my computer and have an excellent liveblog to read. Thanks!

Not okay with Sandy winning. NOT OK. Neither that movie nor that role were all that impressive by a long shot. And Jeff is definitely having a case of "oh shit, he doesn't have one yet" (or as I call it, an Over/Under award). Sigh. At least Mo'Nique and Christoph are totes deserving. And Betty White makes everything better. Also, Eli/QT OTP. Or just basically...the entire IB cast OT34 or whatever. So much love.

(Also: saw Legion this weekend and COULDN'T stop laughing when I realized the premise was basically God saying "OK HUMANITY, I AM SICK OF YOUR DUMB ASS, GTFO." More @ my journal on that.)

I saw Legion last night and I am not sure I can laugh at it yet. It just gets more retarded in my head every time I think back on it. I got all yelly in the car today explaining it to my mom lol.

Betty White DOES make everything better.

Jeff B has been with his lady since 1977 :D


Yeah-- George Clooney, in one of his earliest TV roles (I think...) was on a double episode of the "Golden Girls," playing a _very_ young, _very_ flouffy-permed-eighties-haired vice cop, partnered with an older vice cop (who... got involved with, I think, Dorothy)-- they were using the girls' house for some kind of stake-out of some of the neighbors. There is Drama when one of the cops gets shot in the course of apprehending the neighbors, and I think Dorothy then decides she doesn't want to be in a relationship with somebody whose job consists of situations in which they are going to be shot at.

I could, however, be completely wrong about the plot, because looking at those episodes, it's really hard to notice anything past George Clooney's hair. Srsly.

After the clip of Helen Mirren, I wikipediaed "The Last Station" to see what it's all about, and its that movie about Tolstoy... (I guess because he, being crazy, died on the rail tracks). And I just can't imagine watching a movie about Russia that isn't Russian. I mean, I know Helen Mirren is (half?) Russian, but I can't even imagine that line of dialogue they showed her doing in Russian.

So that one is staying unwatched. Up In the Air, on the other hand, I think I'm going to go see tomorrow, because I want to catch it before it's gone from the theatres. I find it highly amusing that Twilight's Anna Kendrick is getting all these nominations while Robert Pattinson is trying his best to make "very serious movies" and Kristen Stewart probably just wants to get high without a paparazzi watching.

What's really funny to me is that this was all happening maybe 100 yards from my school, but everyone on campus was more interested in going to the Row and getting wasted than oggling the celebs.

You know, Cleo, since you're doing e-books, you should seriously think of doing a collection of your award show blogs. I'd bet a lot of people here would buy it. I hate award shows, but I LOVE your recaps of them.

I would like to undress Michael Fassbender with my teeth. That is all.

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