Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Apparently I feel chatty today

Feeling a smidge better. Got a good bit of work done yesterday, even though I was stuck wrangling fussy dogs for eight hours while my parents were on a church orchestra daytrip. (Sam parked himself in front of the door out to the garage once 5 pm rolled around, because that is The Time Mommy and Daddy Come Home, and yet they did not. So he barked at it for two hours.) Today I got up and went straight to work in the den, instead of getting up and faffing around on the computer and/or sleeping on the couch (both also in the den). I'm in there anyway, usually by 7 am, because "I have to keep an eye on the dogs" is a good way to add structure to my day. ANYWAY. I'm starting a new book for my novel research (although, as I noted, there's a point where research is about finding out things, and then there's a point where it's about the fear of not having found out enough, and I've been at that second point for a long, long time now), but I'm also checking Twitter.

@scottEweinberg: This Pattinson kid is on my TV. He looks like a cross between @TheJoeLynch and a Lycan.

O rly?

Ah, the Remember Me publicity circuit has started. I had plenty of time to read my book during commercials, because as American viewers of the Olympics know, NBC is now 85% advertising content.

@cleolinda: Al Roker's outside the Today studio saying Robert Pattinson's name over and over just to hear the girls scream.

@cleolinda: Matt Lauer: "Harry Markopolous!" Herd of fangirls: "... Wooooo?"

@cleolinda: Today show. Middle-aged woman: "I have been here since seven... last night for him." #fanthropology

I did not mention, by the way, that the fangirls were waving all manner of hideous things at the camera.

@poponjer: @cleolinda: just saw someone holding up a pic they drew of RPattz behind Roker. Looked like RPattz as the elephant man.

@cleolinda: I LOVE YOU SAM WATERSTON! He is bravely giving a quick interview outside while RPattz signs autographs in the background.

@cleolinda: What's hilarious is when [Waterston's] trying to talk and you suddenly hear random screams behind him.

@cleolinda: [Matt Lauer:] "We'll be interviewing Robert... if he has any arms and legs left."

@cleolinda: I just looked up to hear Matt Lauer ask Harry Markopolous about possibly having to kill Bernie Madoff. "Well, I do have army training."

The interview itself went without incident, although not without lots of women crushed up against the glass walls of the studio, waving frantically. It basically went, "So... we're talking about something other than Twilight. Huh. I kind of don't know what to say." "I know, right?!" "..." "..." "So... Eclipse is coming out in June..." I think my favorite part was when Matt Lauer said something to the effect of, "You just did a photoshoot for Details with a lot of naked women... I don't have a question, I just wanted to mention that."

@wonderella: Watching the Today Show. One of these moms are gonna lock Rpattz in a dungeon and make him do Realdoll stuff. :(

@cleolinda: @wonderella If only there were someone who could save him!

@wonderella: @cleolinda I'm kinda not feelin' it. I'd save the Underworld guy, tho!

@wonderella: @cleolinda that guy's a vampire AND a werewolf, so it's kind of a twofer.

Speaking of which, today's reading is The Great Big Werewolf Book of Werewolves.

@cleolinda: "It should be stressed that the idea of a man morphing into a wolf is actually well within the realm of feasibility." #orly

So far, I am still on the introductory content--the pages still have Roman numerals--and I have already learned that

>> Medieval cats got their own witchcraft trials

>> In Renaissance France, from about 1520-1630, 30,000 people were charged with lycanthropy

>> A particularly infamous suspect, Gilles Garnier, was all like, "YES, I MOST CERTAINLY AM! PLEASE BURN ME ALIVE NOW!," so they did

>> An Arcadian werewolf won boxing medals in the 400 B.C. Olympics

>> Alpine sorceresses turned men into beasts of burden with special cheeses

(@tzikeh: "Did the beasts of burden have holes in them?")

>> St. Patrick had to deal with a shitload of werewolves in his congregation, which I can only imagine was a bit distracting during his sermons

and cannot WAIT to see what the rest of the book has in store.

Yesterday I finally finished Montague Summers' Vampires and Vampirism, which I found a bit of a slog because he kept quoting untranslated Latin, Greek, French, and German, and I can only muddle through one of those. Also, he kept going off on huge tangents that were unrelated (strictly speaking, and in my opinion) to vampires, like necrophilia and grave-robbing. I hate to break it to you, sir, but vampires don't care about dead people. Vampires ARE dead people. Vampires only care about juicy live people and how best to snarfle them, therefore I doubt they are going to be poking around tombs that do not belong to them, much less whatever's in them. As such, I found pages upon pages of anecdata about people doing terrible things to corpses (safely described in French, because that's somehow more tasteful, except that French is the one language he didn't translate that I can hack) to be both nauseating and tedious, which is something of a feat. I also tweeted ugh twittered sigh a couple of things about this book as well:

@cleolinda: So apparently the ancient Macedonians believed in vampire sheep. #themoreyouknow

@cleolinda: "Vampires and Vampirism" (1929) ends on the casual note that Dracula was recently played on stage by an actor named Bela Lugosi.


ETA: WARNING: Before you run off and buy The Great Big Werewolf Book of Werewolves, I have to warn you--the reviews on Amazon are terrible, and now that I've gotten into the actual encyclopedia-style entries, I'm starting to see why. There's an entire entry about aliens and UFOs, a really sketchy attempt to connect Elizabeth Bathory to lycanthropy (she totes hung out with wizards and vampires and werewolves, you guys!), and the tale of a French guy who was really more of a ghoul than a werewolf, see, but while we're here... And if you can tell me what Charles Manson has to do with lycanthropy, believe me, I'd love to know.

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Tags: book discussion, books, cheese just wants to love you, fandom, house of bark, movies, o rly, olympics, sam, twitter, vampires, werewolves
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