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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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I am very tired but I feel like saying things, so:

Today I left the house, amazingly enough, to get new glasses. Normally I hold off until my current pair actually falls apart on my face. The last time I had to go out and buy new ones, it was because they collapsed and died in the middle of the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie:

So I literally--and I cannot express to you how literally I mean this. I'm not abusing an oft-abused word; I mean this literally--held the left side of my glasses together by pinching the frames shut for an hour and forty-five minutes solid. I actually asked all the friends I was sitting with if they had any string, for God's sake, because I've actually tied them together before, and I'm now thinking about always carrying a little box of dental floss in my purse for that purpose from now on.

Also, Baby Shelby had left bite marks in the lenses by that time.

(Those pictures were actually taken the very same weekend.)

SO ANYWAY I hunted down a pair of frames as close to the shape of my current frames (the ones I bought in 2007 after aforesaid movie theater incident) as I could, because it's really like trying to buy a new nose for your face: for a constant wearer of glasses, it's a matter of identity. And then I also got some prescription sunglasses, which I am terrified I will now break or lose, because we can't ever have nice things (normally I just get them off the spinny-rack at the drugstore). The sunglasses are in my possession now; the regular glasses will take ten days to come in. Which is good, because God knows I'll need the sunglasses to ward off the blindingly... overcast... March... wait.

I have pretty good vision, though--something like 20/75, I'm not sure. Since I'm nearsighted, I can read without my glasses; I just don't see any reason to. (I remember a friend of mine getting glasses when we were in third grade, and how mad she got when I plaintively declared that I wanted glasses too, because she thought I was trying to make her feel better. No, I really wanted glasses. I don't know, they just seemed like something I ought to have, having already been appointed Teacher's Pet Smart Girl by my peers and disdained appropriately. Like, if I was going to get ostracized for being booksy, I might as well have the really cool glasses to complete the picture. I don't know; I think I must have been a weird kid... as most kids are.) (I finally got them when I was in sixth grade.) So I have always really staunchly worn glasses, not contacts (well, and then I have my flail-twitch freakout phobia about eyes being touched), even though I probably need them a lot less than most people. And the optometrist told me that my eyes probably aren't going to get much worse at my age, and might even get better! Yay! I assume that is possible and not some wack-ass thing he just made up! I don't know, he seemed a little bit crazy, in a really mellow, soothing way. Like, I don't know if people just really don't ever get their eye exams at Lenscrafters, but he gave me this fifteen-minute lecture on the evolutionary development of nearsightedness, and was kind of intense in this really soft-spoken way the whole time in this tiny dim room, and I found myself smiling a lot at him, and feeling really relaxed, and... you know, it just gets creepier and creepier the more I go on, but it seemed all right at the time! My point is... I don't think he'd had anyone to talk to in a long, long time.

(I got through the puff test for glaucoma on the first try, instead of having to get puffed four or five times and flailing too wildly for them to get a reading! This was pleasing to me and my fear of shit being done to my eyes.)

So then I came home and went back to reading my Jack the Ripper book, which got me to thinking about a couple of short stories I could write--well, going into that would be putting the cart before the horse, but it could be interesting.

And now, I think I will go to sleep. Yes, before 9 pm. Because I can.

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I hate the eye puff test. And I don't even have any eye phobias (well, besides using eye drops).

Actually, I find optometrist visits really soothing. It's better than any other doctor for me.

Like, if I was going to get ostracized for being booksy, I might as well have the really cool glasses to complete the picture. I don't know; I think I must have been a weird kid... as most kids are.

I always wanted glasses too! And definitely for the same reasons you wanted them; it was like "Well, I'm already the nerd, lets just make it part of my wardrobe." I still don't need glasses, but in 8th grade (a year of many "interesting" fashion choices) I bought a pair of cat-eye glasses with clear lenses and wore them some days to school, confusing everyone.

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I've managed to hold onto the same pair of prescription sunglasses for...oh my lord, I don't even remember how long. Four years, maybe? A long time. I think this qualifies as a minor miracle.

I wanted to have glasses when I was a kid, too. I would always ask my friends if I could try theirs on, and they'd let me, and then I'd get a headache.

I am currently waiting on my first pair of glasses to be finished, though I just need them for driving and watching tv/going to the movies right now. I'm nearsighted too. I meant to add that I'm really excited about it.

Edited at 2010-03-04 02:50 am (UTC)

I'm all for going to bed before 9:00. Honestly, some of my better days have been the ones that saw me in bed before the sun was completely down.

You should take pictures of these glasses when they come in and post them.

My eyes have actually improved in the last few years. I'm 25, have worn glasses since I was six, and thank god that they have.

Congrats on getting through the puff test. I HATED that damn thing when I was a kid. But, the puff test for glaucoma at my Dr's office has been replaced by this little pressure tester that actually TOUCHES your eye briefly. After they numbed it. You stare and stare into this little blue circle of light as it gets closer and closer until you don't actually see it any more and then, blink, it's gone. It's really strange but I like it better than the puff test...less startling, I guess.

God, I wish I had 20/75. I'm like 20/600 with astigmatism. I can't tell you how excited I was once they started making contact lenses for people like me, but if my eyes get much worse I'll have to have Lasik just to get my eyes good enough to wear contacts at all. I would think at 33 I'd be done with this shit.

My eye doctor has that same touch thing. Only I'm allergic to the numbing drops that they use. So I have to try and HOLD MY EYELID OPEN while they TOUCH SOMETHING TO MY EYEBALL. And it's not one little touch. It actually taps the surface of your eye five times. Yeah. Fun stuff. I miss the puffer.

The worst opthamologist test ever is the eye-drops one. You know what I'm talking about: the yellow ones and the ones that freeze your pupils open and they give you those stupid disposable sunglasses made out of, like, film after.

Oh, I actually checked "DO NOT DILATE" on the patient form.

The eye puffy test is the bane of my existence. Looking into the light is hard enough but then I have to open my eyes more than normal and the anticipation blinking starts.... My last exam it was so bad they gave up and said we'd try it again after the exam. JOY! By the time I was done with the bright lights in the eyes while my retinas were getting stared at the light in the puffy machine was nothing. Two puffs, DONE! It was awesome.

I'm nearsighted but I'm so badly nearsighted that I put my glasses on when I wake up (or get out of the shower) and I don't take them off until I go to bed. I could read without my glasses but the book would have to be an inch from my face. There's also the astigmatism thing. I'm jealous of people who don't have to wear their glasses almost 24/7.

I go to the optometrist every year and they tell me they haven't gotten much worse in recent years which is good I suppose since when I first got glasses 11 years ago my left eye was 20/300. Mostly I go so I can get new frames because I get bored with mine.

Wow, you get to take them off when you're in the shower? ;0)

My field of vision is between three and five inches from my face, but that close of course I have double vision so I have to keep one eye closed.

Needless to say, it's not worth doing. I like wearing glasses, I've worn them since I was so little that I don't remember anything different.


I was a constant wearer of glasses (big Harry Potter-type glasses) for about three years until I lost that pair. I go to get fitted for contacts...and find that I don't need them. My eyes got better!

Mine are constantly improving as well, but try telling my mother that. She always always asks me if I drove with my (single) contact in

My older brother had glasses since - oh, I don't know - birth? So when I began to complain I needed them, my mother was convinced I just wanted them because my brother had them.....that I did not need them.

Fast forward six years later (gah!) to when I was 16 and an optometrist was finally able to convince her that I needed them, and had needed them for some time.

That was 30 years ago and she still talks about it - amazed that I needed glasses (since I have read contantly since I learned at 4, why was this such a mystery is....a mystery).

Flash-forward AGAIN to my mid-(ahem)'s, when I go to my optometrist to be told - even though I could tell of no difference in my eyesight, I don't need bifocals now, but will need them next year, so did I want to get the graduated ones now so I could "learn" how to use them by the time I "needed" them? I had already decided to go old school and get the lined oldfashioned bi's, and told him I would wait until then. He really wanted me to get them now, but was equally insistent that I didn't need them now !?!

Then the MINUTE I walked out of that office - I have been needing yet putting off getting the bifocals. Bizzare.

Actually, I'm going to get two pairs - one bifocal pair for reading (one lens) and another (second lens) for looking at the computer (they say this is quite helpful in our new-fangled modern age), and second pair of 1-pane glasses for driving/movies/etc./distant.

My pupil discoloration is a discussion involving cholesterol and sheer panic - which can await another day.....(thus ends most boring story in the world).

my mom has special computer glasses. she has the case for them Velcroed to the backside of her laptop lid. lols.
i actually think her computer glasses are totes cuter than her regular ones but they give her a headache if she tries to use them for regular-distance site.

I totally wanted glasses when I was little. I even popped the lenses out of a pair of kiddy sunglasses and wore the empty frames to school. I actually did get reading glasses for like one year in third grade, but I think it was just psychological because I haven't needed them since. (Plus the metal on the sides gave me a rash.)

I got glasses in the first grade-- and I really, really didn't want them. But then, by the time I was finally fourteen and could have contacts... it was really weird to see myself without them.

I'm glad Tina Fey has made them cool and sexy, I guess is what I'm saying.