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Oscar liveblog, part 2
yahoo oscars bronze
cleolinda
Ladies and gentlemen! This year's nominees for best actor and actress! Lined up on stage! Holy shit, Seacrest wasn't kidding about that American Idol-style shit. I am already starting to feel really embarrassed for--wow, Carey Mulligan has the most immense diamond earrings. WORK IT GABBY! WORK IT GIRL. Wow. That was hellishly awkward. NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! He is in a sparkling black tux jacket! Pin-striped sparkles. I AM DAZZLED. He is singing something and dancing down the steps! I have no idea what he is saying. There are sparkly-nude showgirls! Kristen Stewart laughs (I KNOW RIGHT) in the audience! A Busby Berkeley musical breaks out! I HAVE NO IDEA. 7:33, and already we've got a kick line.

Things can only, only, go downhill from here.

Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin descend from the heavens. They introduce each other! Ballots are sent out, and then they are sent in, and then they are tabulated, and then no matter what Meryl Streep is nominated. The most times ever, in fact! Martin: "I prefer to think of it as most losses." In the audience, Meryl is howling. Baldwin: "I know you loved Invictus, because it is about two of your favorite things: rugby, and tensions between blacks and whites." Martin: "There's that damn Helen Mirren." Baldwin: "Steve, that's Dame Helen Mirren." And then there is a Martin/Baldwin/Streep threesome joke. It'll be a while before I unsee that. Martin: "Everyone always says the same two things about Meryl Streep: 'Can that woman act! And what's up with all the Hitler memorabilia?'" Martin: "Gabourey Sidibe and I have two things in common. In our first movies, we were both born a poor black child." A big hand for Woody Harrelson! Baldwin, whispering: "He's SO HIGH!" They put on 3D glasses to peer down at James Cameron. Baldwin: "That cutaway of James Cameron has already earned three million dollars." And then the animated seed jellyfish come floating down around them. In the audience, Sam Worthington is not amused. A big hand for Kathryn Bigelow! A joke about a timer and a Toyota that I assume has something to do with The Hurt Locker! Big hand for Christoph Waltz, who played a Nazi hunting Jews! Martin indicates the audience: "The motherlode!" I'm not sure why Alec Baldwin keeps using a plummy faux-villain British accent, but okay. There seems to be an ongoing joke about Baldwin and Clooney glaring at each other, IDK. That isn't the whole duologue, but it's the best I could do. Look it up on YouTube tomorrow. Or maybe five minutes from now, who knows.

Okay, here's Penelope Cruz in wine red, and she does look good. Best Supporting Actor!

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

    * Matt Damon in "Invictus" (Warner Bros.)
    * Woody Harrelson in "The Messenger" (Oscilloscope Laboratories)
    * Christopher Plummer in "The Last Station" (Sony Pictures Classics)
    * Stanley Tucci in "The Lovely Bones" (DreamWorks in association with Film4, Distributed by Paramount)
    * Christoph Waltz in "Inglourious Basterds" (The Weinstein Company)

Riots in the streets? Riots in the streets? Christoph Waltz! Peace has been preserved! "Oscar and Penelope, that is an überbingo." He thanks many, many people by name. I am very happy for him, but I don't know that it'll go down in the annals of great speeches. "This is your welcoming embrace, and there is no way I can ever thank you enough. But I can start now. Thank you! Thank you!" Okay, that ended well.

Please welcome! Ryan Reynolds! (foresthouse, where you at?) Here's here to present from a platform in the audience: a clip from The Blind Side, because he was in The Proposal with Sandra Bullock, get it? "It's a movie... that sneaks up on you," he hiss-whispers. This sounds a bit ominous.

Commercial break! POST.


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I have seen Kristen Stewart smile more in the last half hour than in the past two years. I don't know what to think about this.

Maybe because she's got a movie that is not Twilight coming out soon.

Yeah, but does Joan Jett smile that much?

She's got another one coming out too! The Yellow Handkerchief which actually looks good.

PRINCESS AND THE FROG PLEASE WINNNN.

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I can dream. I can dream...

;-;

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If it doesn't win this, I might really cry.

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This ain't right ;-;

BRB looking for something chocolate flavored.

So much for getting anything done tonight. I'll be going downstairs to watch the show and then upstairs to read your liveblog all evening.

DAMMIT SOMEONE GIVE NEIL AN AWARD ALREADY.

Coraline was so much better than Up. ::sighs::

Or make him host next year...

AW, UP. I knew they had it but I was hoping Coraline or Fantastic Mr. Fox might take it.

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I HATE THAT THEY AREN'T DOING PERFORMANCES. That's always been my favorite part of the show.

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I KNOW, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY CUT THEM. WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GOING TO FILL THE TIME WITH?

Five more clips from the Best Picture nominees, that's what.

Oh gee just what we needed

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This is pretty abysmal...

I hate digital TV sooooooooo much. It cuts out during half of the Oscars, but does it cut out during the commercials? No. No, it doesn't. Grr. I keep getting glimpses and then I get "no signal" again. Once it was just a brief glimpse of a pair of very pale boobs in a sparkly dress, LOL.

If anyone knows what was up with the glaring George Clooney, please enlighten me?

Could it be a reference to The Men Who Stare at Goats?

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