Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Oscar liveblog, part 5

Steve Martin would like to welcome two beautiful actresses, "because we're so tired of bringing out these ugly actresses." Please welcome! Carey Mulligan and Zoe Saldana, wrestling with their trains! We see taped interviews with filmmakers who got their start with short films, and when the Academy takes notice of one, "it is the best calling card ever." Also: "You know what I like about short films? They're short."

Best animated short film

    *       "French Roast"
      A Pumpkin Factory/Bibo Films Production Fabrice O. Joubert

    *      "Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty" (Brown Bag Films)
      A Brown Bag Films Production Nicky Phelan and Darragh O'Connell

    *      "The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)"
      A Kandor Graphics and Green Moon Production Javier Recio Gracia

    *      "Logorama" (Autour de Minuit)
      An Autour de Minuit Production Nicolas Schmerkin

    *      "A Matter of Loaf and Death" (Aardman Animations)
      An Aardman Animations Production Nick Park

"Logorama" wins, and it really was pretty amazing--a link to it was going around the other week. "Doesn't look like it but it was a French film, sorry about the accent." Aw, all the ladies love your accent, don't lie. "I have to assure [people] that no logos were harmed in the making of this film." Go hunt it down, it's worth it.

Back to the giant frilly trains with...

Best documentary short subject

    *      "China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province"
      A Downtown Community Television Center Production Jon Alpert and Matthew O'Neill

    *      "The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner"
      A Just Media Production Daniel Junge and Henry Ansbacher

    *      "The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant"
      A Community Media Production Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert

    *      "Music by Prudence"
      An iThemba Production Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett

    *      "Rabbit à la Berlin" (Deckert Distribution)
      An MS Films Production Bartek Konopka and Anna Wydra

Winner: "Music by Prudence." Roger Ross Williams is trying to talk and then Elinor Burkett RUSHES the microphone and takes over. Young Prudence is here, also in gold, and once we cut away to her, the winners are not allowed to speak again.

Best live action short film

    *      "The Door" (Network Ireland Television)
      An Octagon Films Production Juanita Wilson and James Flynn

    *      "Instead of Abracadabra" (The Swedish Film Institute)
      A Directörn & Fabrikörn Production Patrik Eklund and Mathias Fjellström

    *      "Kavi"
      A Gregg Helvey Production Gregg Helvey

    *      "Miracle Fish" (Premium Films)
      A Druid Films Production Luke Doolan and Drew Bailey

    *      "The New Tenants"
      A Park Pictures and M & M Production Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson

Winner: "The New Tenants." Joachim Black: "WHOOOOOOA." (You know how I know who people are? Because they will helpfully gesture to the person next to them and say, "And I have to thank...") The older gentleman, Tivi Magnusson, leans over to speak but the music is already playing.

OH MY SWEET GOD. Ben Stiller comes out in FULL NA'VI DRAG, braids, blue tail, fuschia-tipped pony tail, yellow contacts, EVERYTHING. It is TERRIFYING. He then spits out a bunch of actual made-up Na'vi language and some of those clicky tongue-flick noises from that language where they only speak in exclamation points and it is THE SCARIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. Stiller: "That means... 'This seemed like a better idea in rehearsal.' I'm here... to present the award for best makeup." HUGE laugh from the audience. "Ironically, Avatar isn't even nominated. I should have worn one of my two pairs of Spock ears, from the original Star Trek series, because Star Trek is actually nominated. Both signed by Leonard Nimoy. But that would have been too nerdy. This... this is much cooler." Oh my God. "Hey. James Cameron. I wanna stick my ponytail in your dragon." This is the funniest, most horrifying thing I have ever seen, y'all. "I brought a hair net, it's okay." OH MY GOD A NA'VI CONDOM JOKE. To his credit, Cameron is out in the audience dying.

And then Stiller's giant blue tail takes on a life of its own, tries to escape, and ends up pulling a fishing pole down from the ceiling.

Achievement in makeup

    *      "Il Divo" (MPI Media Group through Music Box) Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano
    *      "Star Trek" (Paramount and Spyglass Entertainment) Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow
    *      "The Young Victoria" (Apparition) Jon Henry Gordon and Jenny Shircore

Well, at least Stiller can be happy that Star Trek wins.

Here's Jeff Bridges on the dais with a clip from A Serious Man, because he was The Dude, get it? Oh sweet Jesus, please go to commercial, I'm still trying to write up the Na'vi thing.

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Tags: awards, liveblog, movies, oscars
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