Whoa, that's Rachel McAdams?
* "District 9" (Sony Pictures Releasing) Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
* "An Education" (Sony Pictures Classics) Screenplay by Nick Hornby
* "In the Loop" (IFC Films) Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
* "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" (Lionsgate) Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
* "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios) Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner
Winner: Precious. "This is for everyone who works on a dream everyday." Fletcher is very emotional--in fact, I think it's the first really emotional speech we've seen this evening. In the audience, Sidibe looks thrilled. And then we cut to Morgan Freeman, because... yeah.
Please welcome! Queen Latifah! Steve Martin says that working with her was the highlight of her life! She laughs and waves. Here's the Special Bathroom Break Honorary Award, except that THEY HAD IT BEFORE THE TELECAST. THERE IS NO BATHROOM BREAK FOR ANYONE. And they honored Lauren Bacall and Roger Corman! HOW DID WE GET CHEATED OUT OF THIS?! Bacall and Corman are here with us tonight! They are allowed to stand in the audience while people gradually realize they need to standing-ovate now, because no one's getting up on stage. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
Please welcome! Robin Williams! A wall of lampshades descend from the ceiling. I don't even know.
(Ohhhhhh. He's here because last year's supporting actor would be presenting, and last year's supporting actor was... Heath Ledger.)
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
* Penélope Cruz in "Nine" (The Weinstein Company)
* Vera Farmiga in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
* Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Crazy Heart" (Fox Searchlight)
* Anna Kendrick in "Up in the Air" (Paramount in association with Cold Spring Pictures and DW Studios)
* Mo'Nique in "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" (Lionsgate)
Winner: Mo'Nique. A huge cheer. Stand back, this is gonna involve some fast typing. Standing ovation! "First, I would like to thank the Academy for showing that it can be about the performance and not the politics. I want to thank Miss Hattie McDaniels for enduring this so I would not have to." Okay, I can't type fast enough. She thanks Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey and her Precious family and her husband "for showing me that sometimes you have to forego doing what's popular in order to do what's right. God bless us all!"
Please welcome! Colin Firth on the dais! With a clip from An Education! Because he's... British? I was doing so well, y'all.
Commercials! And a salute to horror films! WHICH WE COULD HAVE HAD IF YOU'D LET ROGER CORMAN TALK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.