Team Edward vs. Team Jacob: Which side are you on?
Christy did tell me that the article was edited for space--although she did insist on keeping my team preference in, because I told her y'all were looking forward to that--so my thoughts on Jacob were cut short and look a bit dismissive in the context of the article
What I also said--and a lot more of what I said made it in than I thought would--was the "team" you choose in a rivalry like this has a lot to do with what you feel is missing in your life. That is to say, that's the point of fantasy; we don't fantasize about things we already have. And... all broodings being equal, I could really use someone who's educated, well-read, financially stable, and hygienic in my life. (I hate to pull an inside reference on you guys, but good God, could I use someone who cleans up nice. Someone who cleans up, period.) If you could surgically remove the fuckwittery from these two characters--I think you can tell which type I would prefer. But unless this third movie--where a large percentage of the asshaberdashery happens--underwent some drastic rewrites (and it sounds like it didn't), you can't, so I'm firmly Team... well. You've read the article.
(Let it also be noted that I am available for sensible, well-informed quotes on a vast number of non-Twilight topics, including but not limited to Harry Potter, LOTR (omg breaking news: Peter Jackson directing, y'all), Narnia, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Dracula, True Blood, vampires in general--hell, 19th-century literature in general. I studied Renaissance drama, sentimental literature and two foreign languages! I have half a master's degree! I WAS A LIBERAL ARTS MAJOR. WILL OPINIONATE FOR FOOD.)
Speaking of rewrites, word from someone who's seen the movie is that there is no werenose fistbump. I am disappoint.
Meanwhile, Edward Cullen Cat is losing his will to dazzle:
LOOK AT THAT PRECIOUS BABY FACE. I have never before seen a cat that had puppy dog eyes. I'm withholding the link to his location at this point because a reader is going to call the store and see if she can adopt him for her mother, so maybe we'll have a happy ending after all.
OMG BREAKING NEWS: In case you didn't see the link buried in a paragraph above, our long international nightmare is over: PETER JACKSON WILL DIRECT THE HOBBIT.