Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

On the fifth day of Sparklemas...

... my blogger gave to me: IIIIIIIII'M NOT A FAAAAAAAN.

MSNBC: Why doesn’t ‘Twilight’ have a Team Bella?

And there I am, front and center--described as "Cleolinda Jones, a 31-year-old 'Twilight' fan from Birmingham, Ala," in a turn of phrase that elicited great chagrin on Twitter.

@cleolinda: I love how this is what stops everyone short. RT @gorgeousnerd: @cleolinda: Calling you a "Twilight fan" doesn't seem descriptive enough.

@mellymell: @cleolinda Heh, so I wasn't the only one who went "huh" when I read that. 

@aranel13: @cleolinda You're more like a Twilight den mother.

@QueenofSix: @cleolinda I feel that Twilight victim might be more accurate!

Honestly, this is something I have been struggling with since 2008, as can be heard in this audio clip ("SHUT UP!"). I would say that truly "being a fan" of something involves a genuine sense of admiration, which... I don't have. (Except, maybe, for the brave souls grappling with the task of adapting these books into functional movies; I have been known to express a lot of admiration for them.) And yet, I spend too much time talking about this godforsaken thing to argue the "fan" label in good conscience. Because you know what? Star Wars fans spend a lot of time complaining and snarking and bagging on George Lucas, and yet... no one denies that they are, in fact, still fans. The best excuse I can make for myself is that Twilight may be a unique media phenomenon in which people love to hate it (and hate to love it) as vocerifously as the people who straight-up love it. And, of course, there's the fanthropology aspect, which fascinates me across the board. It's complicated, is what I'm saying. But if I weren't having fun, I wouldn't be here right now. So.

(I will say that the "I am so sick of posting Twi-spam, I can't stand it anymore" issue from Sparklemas 2008, as mentioned in that clip, isn't a problem now, because I've just started picking a few things and commenting on them, rather than doing exhaustive clearinghouse posts.)

Meanwhile, Roger Ebert posted on Twitter that both Variety and the Hollywood Reporter have given Eclipse good--good!--reviews. (And you know they're sincerely good reviews because both sites actually take the time to snark on the rest of the series.) And then, you have to take into account this interview with director David Slade, wherein his approach to the movie seems to boil down to "BE VAMPIRES, GODDAMMIT!" You guys? I think... I think he's made it... awesome.

Unfortunately, this is going to make my job very, very hard. That's okay. I try not to post these things until at least the Monday after a movie comes out, because of the joyous "Now I don't have to see the movie!" comments I get. (Not that I could ever take away a significant amount of business from any film, but I'd like to cover my ass, and the first weekend seems to be the most important.) And if I go see it on Wednesday (the Lovely Emily and I are developing plans to this effect) (tickets acquired! Sparkle help us all), I'll have a good four days before I could even post it if I wanted to. Granted, writing the Twilight 15Ms seems to involve a ten-day tailspin, on average, but what I'm saying is, I'll have a good four days' head start on the meltdown.

We have a little movement on the Edward Cullen Cat situation--snowcoma has begun the process of trying to adopt him for her mother ("I am ready to form a PRAYER CIRCLE to make sure this little guy gets to live with my mom"), but apparently one cannot just walk into Mordor a pet store and rescue a cat; one has to consult various agencies and foster families and such. I will indulge myself now of visions of Edward's foster-owner-mother being perfectly pleasant on the phone with someone, and then calling up the Humane Society like, "Ixnay on that one, she says she has a 'lion and lamb' tattoo. I told you, no fangirls!" Whereas I imagine the pet store itself is desperate to place him.

cleolinda: You know the people at the pet store are just like, "You seem nice, he'll go to a good home, that's great, JUST PLEASE TAKE HIM, IT'S KILLING US." Can you imagine poor homeless Edward Cat chagrining at you all day long?

lost_garnet: "Of course no one wants to adopt me. I'm a monster."

cleolinda: Tiny, masochistic lion!

lost_garnet: You're like my own personal brand of catnip.

He's dangerous for you, what if he's the bad cat, this is the fur of a killer, etc. (Although this does bring a new meaning to that scene in the first movie where Actual Edward's reading people's minds: "Sex... money... sex... money... cat?") PLEASE APPROVE THIS ADOPTION, HUMANE SOCIETY. I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THAT SAD LITTLE FACE.

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Tags: edward cat, interviews, m15m, sparkle motion, sparklemas, twilight, twitter, we do not speak of it
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