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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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So I get a tearful message from snowcoma this morning:

There has been yet another snag in getting Edward. I went to the store today with my carrier, his new collar and toy, and....waited. And waited. When they finally got his foster mom on the phone she had YET MORE questions she wanted to talk with my mom about (despite discussing the same things with me the night before and giving me the all-clear). As of ten o'clock this night, my mother hasn't heard from her.

Did I mention we are leaving for Vancouver, WA [this] morning to SEE my mother? And that I am supposed to have a cat for her?

[snowcoma talks a little bit about panic and anxiety attacks here, which are something I can sadly identify with.] Add in the fact that I am now attached to an animal that someone is playing paperwork keep-away with, and well...

All I want to do is get the damn cat and visit my mother. I ended up crying in the middle of the pet store (and the employees were extremely nice, this is just out of their control). One of them even offered to let me pick him up before the store even opens if I can get the all clear.

You can share any or all of this, because this is goddamn ridiculous. And I feel like I'm letting a lot of people down every time I fail to bring him home. I'm sitting here with an empty collar in my hands and trying not to cry.


I am pretty sure that an angry mob is not going to convince a foster family that someone is more suitable for cat ownership. I am also pretty sure that catnapping is illegal. I just don't know what to do. Keep in mind that Edward Cat isn't even at the foster family's house, as I understand it--he's all alone at the pet store--

--while the foster family is somewhere on the phone all like NO CAT FOR YOU.

I am not understanding what the problem is here.

ETA: Okay, we have figured out that Edward Cat comes from a private/volunteer rescue, not the Humane Society, and a deeply-attached foster family really may have the final say. (And now you know why he's been in that window forever.) My problem with this is that snowcoma was cleared to take Edward home at least once, and they keep giving her this runaround of "We'll have to talk to you/her/someone else, we'll call later" and then it takes days. If you don't want her to have the cat, don't tell her she can have the cat.


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That makes me so mad. I hate beaurocracy.

Ugh. Animal rescue folks are obviously well-intentioned, but they often make adoption so much harder than it should be. And it's the truly well-meaning would-be adoptees who end up with a terrible experience.

All sympathies and best wishes to snowcoma, her mom, and Edward.

Word. (Also, hi.)

I think that the problem can become the fact that people who work for rescues, including fosters, being exposed over and over again to how badly people treat their pets. And "badly" has a wide set of extremes, from outright abuse of the worst sort, to "we owned this cat for 8 years but then we got a dog and the cat wanted too much attention so we gave up the cat", which, you know... WTF, people? Or you get a cat like mine, who is the sweetest cat in the entire world, whom someone owned for a year and then abandoned on a university campus because... why? We'll never know. Why didn't you have the balls to even take her to a shelter? The guilt too much for you? So it's so much better to just turn her loose to fend for herself?

So, yeah. I'm not even speaking AS someone who does rescue or fostering, and I get mad at irresponsible owners. I think what can happen, though, is that the longer you deal with that, the more you might get into a mindset of NOBODY IS GOOD ENOUGH. Right? Except for the rescues themselves and those who work with them to foster. Those folks obviously "get it". They get what people do to animals -- even people who start off with "good intentions", and then a year later or whatever it's suddenly "too hard", or they have to move and it's too much effort to find a new place that will take cats, and the cat is bounced back to a shelter if he's LUCKY. Or, you know, you adopt a cat out to an older person and they die, and then it's up to the family to provide for the cat, and what if the extended family doesn't care? This is a serious issue. (My friends and I all have had "will you take our cats if we die suddenly?" talks, because it's a real fear.)

And what I'm saying is... I think that some rescues and fosters get into this mindset and that's why they become over-protective and fall into this seemingly un-intuitive pattern of not adopting out a cat to a good home. It's because they've become paranoid about people and they have a really hard time distinguishing what a "good home" is in their view. And that's before you even add in the problem that there are widely differing and strong opinions about what "proper" levels of care are for pets. (And I tend to have this feeling that the folks who go into rescue/fostering are folks with quite high standards of pet care, which means if you have a more "relaxed" attitude, woe to you trying to convince them that you are a "good home" for the pet.)

Note: I mean all of this as maybe-explanatory. Not as an excuse. My opinion tends to be that I get where that paranoia/pessimism comes from, but... I also think it's off the deep end of good judgement. The only way to feel like you can absolutely control what happens to a pet in the future is to keep it yourself, which is counter to the goal of adopting out pets to good homes.

I'm in agreement with the poster below who suggested trying to call the rescue itself. I also don't get why the foster-family is getting to call the shots, here. On the one hand, yes: attached. On the other: gave up the cat for him to sit in a pet-store, of all things.

Whoa, that's nuts. What the hell is their problem? Does the foster family just not want to give up the cat at all?

But they don't even have the cat! The cat's at the pet store! I don't know if they're giving snowcoma a hard time because her mother's disabled or what.

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Oh what is this bullshit. The whole cat-adoption process is a little alien to me (never had a pet of any sort, unless you count the vacuum cleaner when I was two), but this sounds like someone playing petty bureaucrat with cute fuzzy animals and that leaves a foul taste in my mouth.

At this point? Someone needs to call the actual cat rescue place, NOT the foster family, and explain the situation. Because this has gone on long enough.


It's a foster family, why does the freakin' foster family get the say-so? Isn't the point of the SHELTER ORGANIZATION to ADOPT the animal out to a good home? Why in the name of all that sparkles is it the FOSTER FAMILY's decision at all? If THEY aren't going to adopt this poor cat, then they shouldn't get to choose who does.


The problem is, some people are just plain inconsiderate. A LOT of people, actually (she said bitterly). It's a shame. Praying for a good outcome for snowcoma, her mom, and Edward Cat.

I'm not much of a cat person but that photo of his sad little face breaks my heart.

Just give him to snowcoma already foster family! He can't take much more of this!

I just don't understand. Why does the foster family not want the fluffiest Edward to have a nice home? Do they think it's better for him to stay at the pet store alone? Have they not seen the adoption commercials where the parents aren't perfect but they love their kids and that's better than not having parents. If imperfect love is okay for kids, it should be okay for cats.

I am very irritated. And my cat meowed at the screen at the fluffiest Edward.

That is messed up. There are so many rescue agencies and they all operate so differently that it can be hard to figure out what they want from prospective adoptive families. With our dog, the foster family was so desperate to get rid of him (due to lack of space) that they let him go with very few questions asked. It all varies so much.

Ugh. It sounds like SOMEONE didn't really want to give up their precious kitty. I hate it when people do shit like that. If you put it up for adoption, let it go. Someone else can give it a good home.

Also, I had no idea how irritating the adoption process was until now. I went with my Mom to get a cat a while ago, and I was so excited to take it home that day. Well, no. They wanted to check out our house to see if it was a suitable environment! They had to do a background check with the vet and everything. Mind you, our house usually consists of two great danes and two to three cats.

The rescues and fosterers in Seattle are completely out of control. They want this oh-so-perfect ideal family for their animals, and it's like, WTH, don't you want them to get a family at some point, you idiots? I got turned down for a pit bull cross, which are nearly impossible to place in this area, because I once gave a cat away to my roommate because I was moving across the country and had no safe way to transport her. Their theory was that if you'd given away an animal once, you'd do it again, and they want these animals to have permanent homes. I say again, WTH?

Oh my God. If that's what we're dealing with--a local culture of uptight rescues/fosters--we're going to have problems on this one. Her mother's disabled. I'm convinced that's what the hangup here is. But if they could have thought of a real objection on those grounds, they shouldn't have led her on. The fact that they were at all willing says that they don't have any legitimate objections and they're just jerking her around.

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I'd ask you to take pictures, but I'm afraid of what they would look like. I almost want to put together a file of pictures of this poor cat's face and send them to the foster family all like YOU MAKE EDWARD CAT SAD.


Seriously, I am having a bad time of it right now because I am taking the bar exam in 28 days and every time I see that picture of Edward Cat I burst into tears, and I just wanted poor Mr. Edward Kitty to go home with the nice lady, and I am clearly way too invested in all of this.