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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Life in recovery
pallas cat - chagrin
I am so tired I barely know where to start. You know how I said that my mother once tried to mop the kitchen floor the same day that she came back from a minor knee surgery? I was not making that up. (Am I ever?) I thought I'd be here taking care of a baby--someone who had to sleep most of the day in a recliner and couldn't get anything for herself. But no. No, it couldn't be like that, because that would be easy. Instead, I'm here chasing a 57-year-old toddler around the house.  

Friday: Mom came home from the hospital just as Sister Girl and I finished running errands. (Mom has been on a quest for a month to find someplace, anyplace, that actually stocks a non-Blu-Ray copy of Green Zone, and I finally managed to find one for her.) She immediately began to unpack, by which I mean she sat in bed and waved us around the room to put up her three hundred toiletries. Remember: this is a woman who sat up in bed the night after her surgery and put in her contacts, put on her makeup, and painted her nails.

Saturday: I end up chasing my mother around the kitchen to take the vacuum cleaner away from her. "But there's DOG HAIR on the floor!" I start denying this fact, and then a Scout-colored tumbleweed drifts by. So while I'm vacuuming--because if I don't, right then, she will--I hear the clanking of her walker heading towards the laundry room. Okay, fine. The problem is that I eventually realize that she's walkering back towards me with a mop in her hand. Which I also confiscated. Honestly, the doctor did tell her to walk around for ten minutes each hour. She can do laps around the dining room if she wants. But when she starts doing things with her hands--like toting a big pile of laundry through the house--that means she can't grab onto the walker if she loses her footing. And if she can't hold on, that's when she's going down.

"You know, I watched Green Zone last night. It was terrible!"

Sunday: "Look, you can clean all the counters you want. Clean the microwave! Have a party! But I am going to sit here and watch you do it, because you're not falling down and jacking up your knee on my watch."

And then I wrestled the vacuum away from her again.

Monday: My mother's idea of relaxation is turning up the new Clash of the Titans really loud and then hobbling around the kitchen doing God knows what. No, I did not read Clash of the Titans in Fifteen Minutes aloud to her. Although she did read it when I first posted it, and she did really like it. So there's that.

Also, Mom's physical therapist was an hour late again. This makes us Not Happy.

Tuesday: Mom is writing thank you notes for the flowers and cards she got from the office. Also, she seems to have no indoor voice, because I am now fully debriefed on university hiring policies via a number of phone calls from said office. As of this moment, I am making us a margherita pizza, by which I mean "taking it out of the box and heating it for ten minutes." Also, I have now seen a goodly portion of Australia, which is one of my mother's favorite movies. Faramir, you are a dick.

"Oh my God. This looks like the most depressing movie ever. They put the little kid on a boat and Faramir's standing there gloating about it and Nicole Kidman's all crying and then they blow up their house and suddenly she's got all these Army blouses--"

"That's not their house, that's just a building, but now Hugh Jackman thinks she's dead--"

"--and that guy is in jail and they just shot that other guy and everything's on fire and they're taking the children away and I can't even imagine what this movie would be like if they'd actually killed off Hugh Jackman like they meant to."

"Well, Faramir is a dick, but he gets his. He gets his GOOD. He wants to kill the children--THEY WERE GOING TO KILL HUGH JACKMAN OFF?!?!?"

I have no idea what we're going to do this afternoon. Except that I'm pretty sure it's going to be loud and involve me not getting work done. God bless.

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What is it with parents and Australia? It is a favorite of both my parents and my in-laws.

It's one of my mother's favorite movies too. But then, she is Australian, so that may explain it...

I love your stories about your mother. She sounds exactly like my grandmother. "Oh, yeah, I just passed out in my house all by myself for an hour, but I'm still going to try to catch that plane to New York!" *headdesk*

No, I am totally not commenting on your LJ during work

Edited at 2010-08-03 05:46 pm (UTC)

of course not, because That Would Be Wrong

is totally not doing the same thing

Well, at least she's doing well after the surgery? Right? *crickets*

I know what it's like to have to MAKE somebody rest, and it's a pain, I know. Christ, it's like corralling a two-year-old after it's had three scoops of ice cream or something.

I hope things get easier.

My mom had both her knees replaced within one year (one late 2004, the other early 2005). Crazy. And I remember her talking about the orthopedic wing of the hospital, and how it was different because these people weren't sick, they were just a little banged up. Makes a huge difference!

Fortunately, while my mom went a little stir crazy eventually after both of them, she is not the type I had to chase around to keep from vacuuming. ;) At least she ended up with two new knees that don't give her any pain!

Once your mom is totally, completely better, ask her to try jumping. I don't know why, but something about the replaced joint totally gets rid of its natural springiness. When my family wants a laugh, we get mom to try jumping in place -- from a crouch and everything. It looks like so much effort and she'll lift about two inches. SO WEIRD.

Is your mom my mom? Are you me?

Cause my mom also got both her knees replaced in a year. Around that time, too!

Of course, my mom didn't putter around too much, but we confined her to rolling around in a computer chair. Which was so much fun for us~

(Deleted comment)
in a wrestling match for the vacuum


I haven't been able to watch Australia yet because the boyfriend flips it off to put something awful on. I've gotten about 10 minutes in x.x

If my mom went down because of surgery, pretty much nothing would get done around here since the fam are lazy bastards...so she'd probably end up doing the same. Mom and I seem to do everything around here x_X

On a serious note, though, be happy she's alive. My mom died after a surgery in January, and I would give *anything* to have your problem.

Oh, no. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. :(

Pssst! Valerian root! After I caught my mother trying to mow the yard the day after her knee surgery (hello, sis) I whipped out the Valerian root pills and told her it was a type of anti-cold remedy and it'd keep her resistance healthy.

Passed right out.

You are an evil genius and I love you.

Australia was THE worst movie EVAR. All us Australians were sitting there (NOT in the movie theatre; we wouldn't watch it if we were PAID to) facepalming when it came out. THERE ARE NO WORDS.

I was not making that up. (Am I ever?). Nope, you're not. *points to icon* See?

I love stories about your mother. :) I'm glad she's out of hospital now, tho' not so glad she's driving you nuts. :/

Edited at 2010-08-03 06:46 pm (UTC)

Well now I feel guilty that I loved it.

Not in a "THIS DESERVES ALL AWARDS EVER" sort of way, but in a "Wow it's Saturday night, holy crap I know let's watch friggin AUSTRALIA and eat ICE CREAM and ENJOY THE SHEET OUT THIS MOFO."

It's one of those movies I just plain enjoy watching even though my brain is telling me things like "Wow, this movie thinks it is 3 different genres of movie at the same time", and "This kid really SHOULD be annoying me" and "WOW HUGH JACKMAN'S SLICK SOAPY CHEST, IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY, REALLY?" OK Yes, it really really is necessary.

I dunno, I guess it's because I'm not Australian. May I ask, is it inaccuracy that bothers you? Or is it just that it's a bad movie?

I'll see your post-knee-surgery mom and raise you one post-ICU-due-to-pneumonia mom. "What do you mean I should be resting?" You'd think once she passed sixty she'd start considering her recovery time isn't what it was when she was twenty-seven.

While I don't want to blast the commenter who mentioned that their mother died after surgery and you should be happy that yours is still alive - which is a valid point, and I hope they know that they have my deepest sympathies - I have to say that I think their comment was really inappropriate. You were incredibly concerned for your mother before the surgery and it seemed like you were trying to lighten the mood by telling funny stories about her which, you're right, people do really like. There's a difference between saying, 'I'm glad that your mother is all right, especially since I have experienced that loss myself,' and their comment.

My father passed away in September - I completely understand the grief of losing a parent and the sting you feel every time someone mentions something their mother/father did. But I've also learned to be really happy for those people who still have their parents and are able to have these moments with them. I don't begrudge Cleo's stories because my father didn't live; I'm grateful that she and her family are spared that pain and have more time and stories together. I hope this doesn't seem inconsiderate or preachy but I also hope that the commenter realizes that grief doesn't have to become bitter.

Cleo, my best to you and your mother and my apologies for ranting on your journal. I really enjoy your stories about her and I hope that you feel comfortable posting more.

Agreed! Good luck to your mother (and you!) as she recuperates.

Your mother and my nan must be related. My nan's eyeball FILLED WITH BLOOD. She could not see anything but red. And then she casually mentions this to us, and says she didn't go to the doctor because it's too small a thing to be bothering with, and anyway it went away on its own. She also started playing tennis on her reconstructed hip a fortnight after the operation, and now wonders why it squeaks. I'm not even kidding. It sounds like a door in a haunted house.


After my granny had her knee replaced back in November of last year, she stayed in a nursing home for a few weeks. But, if she had been at home, she would have been like your mom. We had to do everything in our power to convince her not to cook the whole Thanksgiving meal.

Glad your mom is doing well.

Cleo/Mom stories! YAY! I love how much fun/companionship you and your mother have. It is a thing of beauty... and hilarious.