Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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galadriel pui-mun law
cleolinda
I have been clenching my jaw today, apparently--if I knew I was doing it, I wouldn't do it!--so now I have an all-over skullache, BUT! More importantly!

First Look at Paul W.S. Anderson's Three Musketeers. Pictured: Mads Mikkelsen and Percy Jackson Logan Lerman. Opening in 3D on April 15, 2011, the action adventure also stars Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Christoph Waltz, Milla Jovovich, Juno Temple, Orlando Bloom and James Corden.

So I pretty much just pulled out my phone, went to the calendar app, and booked that weekend for a Fifteen Minutes. Come on. It has Orlando Bloom, Mads Mikkelsen and swords. There's no use pretending. It's going to happen.




(Related: Hot Toys' new Freakishly Lifelike Christoph Waltz.)

Meanwhile, two items of note from the Smart Bitches:

@SmartBitches: You Guys. Book title of the week: Hold me Closer, Necromancer. http://amzn.to/8ZUNgY

@SmartBitches: From JenD: The Team Bella t-shirt: http://bit.ly/9lCsk0

Hollywood Has Made a Whopping $7 Billion Off Vampires. For the handful of people in the world who haven't seen this macro yet: go look at the accompanying picture.

'Saw' Director James Wan to Helm Vampires-in-Prison Pic 'Nightfall.'

Jeremy Renner to Co-Star with Tom Cruise in 'Mission: Impossible 4.'

Jim Carrey's Gay Prison Flick is Finally Coming Out! So to speak. (Gay prison romantic comedy with Ewan McGregor, no less.) (Maybe if they were gay vampires in prison?)

Tron's Got G-G-G-Girls!? Poster.

'Julia's Eyes' Trailer: Going Blind is Creepier When Some Guy is Following You All the Time. OKAY SO I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL BECAUSE I HAVE A THING ABOUT EYES AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE THE PICTURE THAT GOES WITH IT MAYBE WE CAN GO SEE THE MOVIE WHERE JAMES FRANCO CUTS HIS OWN HAND OFF INSTEAD DO NOT WANT.

Three TV Spots for Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole.

Fantastic Fest to Literally Bury Moviegoers Alive for Crazy 'Buried' Event. I can't think of any way this would go horribly wrong, and neither can the lawyers with the ream of paperwork for you to sign first.

Does M. Night's Short Film with a Half-Naked Penthouse Pet Mark the Start of His Comeback? ...what?



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I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW HARD I LAUGHED WHEN I SCROLLED DOWN AND SAW THAT RACCOON. I LOVE HIM.

I think he should be the new eatspopcorn.gif.

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I almost put it outside the LJ cut, but then I thought, no, people hate it when I do that. YOUR LOSS IF YOU MISS IT.

Oh gosh that picture on the vampires article HA! Also, seven billion?? It's a monument to America's poor taste. Or to their love for lulz, I haven't decided which yet.

And Christoph Waltz is amazing, but he's about to be typecast as the evil guy in everything, isn't he?

He's also in--Green Hornet? Something. And Water for Elephants. I say get it, good sir.

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I was unaware there were reasons to see The Three Musketeers besides eyecandy?

Nice to see (Re:3 Musketeers) the Hollywood Ratio of four men for every woman stays constant.

Ugh, this. You know, I'm almost starting to think that we do need August 26 to be "Women's Equality Day" - even though I thought it was outrageous when I first heard about it. It's like, get with the times, Hollywood.

I don't know if that raccoon has a name, but from now on, he shall be called Montgomery Burns Jr.

And I know Logan Lerman's hair is supposed to look like that, but still...it's unfortunate.

Fantastic Fest to Literally Bury Moviegoers Alive for Crazy 'Buried' Event. I can't think of any way this would go horribly wrong, and neither can the lawyers with the ream of paperwork for you to sign first.

You know, when the Mythbusters tried burying Jamie in a real coffin six feet under, they found that the coffin buckled under the weight of the dirt. I REALLY hope those guys have done their homework and specially reinforced the coffin.

Awe, you're no fun! Come on, if we're going to do this let's do it right! And by right I mean kill the morons who agree to be BURIED ALIVE FOR A FREAKING MOVIE PROMOTION! Darwin award anyone?

just wanted to comment sort-of-OT: you might be amused by the fact that at my screening of scott pilgrim, the new m. night movie previewed. everyone was pretty silent, and then when his name came up at the end, the entire audience burst into laughter. probably not what he was going for, but satisfying.

That happened at our theater too.

I have never heard the name Logan Lerman before this post. Now that I have seen that picture, I am sure I will not forget it. It may even be whispered by me in the dark, tonight, very late.

The description of Hold Me Closer, Necromancer sounds so bad, and yet they got Sherman Alexie to write a blurb for the front cover. I AM CONFLICT.

Every time I read that title, I start singing "Tiny Dancer" in my head.

~Hold me closer, necromancer~
It totally fits.

I laughed so hard at the evil raccoon of glee. It's now my facebook profile picture.

Public service announcement: I too had jaw-clenching problems a few months ago (work was crazy stressful, and I screwed up something very important). I got a special mouthguard from my dentist and wore it religiously morning and night for a week. My jaw stopped feeling as though it was going to come out through my skull. Huge improvement.

It's important to make sure your mouthguard fits properly, however. Mine is not good, and when I wear it every night, I get a thumping headache by the end of the day.

Something about those Musketeer costumes is bothering me already but I can't describe what it is other than, dude, why is there a 20 foot inseam?

I think the pants aren't baggy enough. Also, they're awfully mud-colored.

That raccoon is plotting for world domination. The end is near! :P

Hold me Closer, Necromancer

I immediately thought of Edward Cullen and proceeded to laugh my head off.

That Three Musketeers movie had better be good, and by "good" I mean "not depart from the book in any particular, but at the very least better than that fucking awful 1993 'adaptation'."

The Disney one, with Chris O'Donnell? I LOVE that movie. It's not in any way close to the book except the rough time period and the names, I'm sure, but by itself, I adore that movie.

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