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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Many things to discuss, including Offaltine
Breaking news: LJ has Reviewed Your Feedback At Length, and comments on locked entries can no longer be cross-posted regardless. Also, they're aware of the pingback bugs. Meanwhile:

Peoples of the internet, I feel compelled to make you aware of something (this sentence originally contained words much stronger than "something") that I encountered today. It is ceilidh_ann's July summary of the Twilight-with-angels YA book Hush, Hush, whose "bad-boy" "hero" makes Edward Cullen look like a paragon of feminism. Yeah. I had heard of the book before (generally in the "it's Twilight with angels, so angels are totes the new vampires" context), but I had no idea it was like this. In fact, it isn't even Patch (PATCH) who's biggest problem for me in what I'm hearing about the book; it's the idea of a sex-education class that's run like an episode of The Pickup Artist. ceilidh_ann:

Then they discuss attraction and how to show a “potential mate” you’re interested. Seriously? [...] Patch uses Nora as an example, practically harassing and humiliating her in front of the entire class as the coach encourages it!


Laughter rose in the room. I dropped my hands to my legs.

“She’s game,” said Patch, bumping my leg again. Of all things, I blushed.

“Very good! Very good!” Coach said, his voice charged, smiling broadly at our attentiveness.


So the 4 of them go to the local promenade/theme park/arcade thing and guess who is there? Patch! And Nora just can’t stay away from Patch even though he’s the sort of character only a fist could love and has a habit of sexually harassing her every time they meet. Once again showing us why we’re supposed to be enticed by this man, Patch grabs her and tells her to go on a rollercoaster with him (called the Archangel – the subtlety, it burns!) despite stating she is afraid of heights. Not exactly helping the phobia, Nora sees that her seatbelt and bar are loose and panics, as you do, but Patch seems relaxed and dickish. After her friends ditch her, Patch takes Nora home on his bad boy motorbike, then using her keys he just ‘happened’ to find, lets himself into her house and proceeds to wield a knife as he shows her how to cook tacos. [...] Is all this supposed to warm me to Patch? Am I supposed to be seduced by his actions and find him as dark and mysteriously sexy as the author clearly finds him? There’s a difference between a rebel without a cause and a known stalker harasser wielding a knife in your home! You fail, Fitzpatrick! More manhandling follows but I am too pissed off to write it all down.

SO DISGUSTED I KIND OF WANT TO READ THE WHOLE THING JUST TO SEE IF IT'S REALLY THAT ENRAGING. And then I remember that there are actual, good, non-ragemaking books I could be reading, and that, also, I have already served my time on the OMG WTF YA beat.

But I will say this: whether I'm writing for adults or teens (and at the moment, I'm working on separate projects for both), I promise I will not write about stalkers and harassers who are not villains. I will only have the heroine make bad choices so she learn from them, and I will not let other characters make choices for her. I will let her fight as many of her own battles as she can (and have her be conscious for them), but if she does go to someone for help, particularly if she is a teenage girl, I will have that someone take her concerns seriously. In other words, the spirit of this promise is, if I write about complete and total bullshit, it will be for the purpose of saying, That was COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT, and as such, people had to overcome it. Not completely be taken in by it and float along like it's totally okay and think it's ~so grimdark sexyhot omg.~ Because maybe that's the sad way the actual world works, as far as bullshit goes, but when you're writing, you can show people a better way. Damn.

(A WTF chaser: The Offaltine Milkshake, "foie gras + chocolate.")


Renesmee Cullen Turns 4! Our Present: Listing Nessie Aspects We're Excited To See In 'Breaking Dawn.' Yeah! Only three more years before Jacob can hit that! Who wants cake?

Watch This: First 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' TV Spot; The best excuse to skip a test ever:

“There is a guy who is obsessed with Harry Potter in my grade. He decided that he would tattoo the Dark Mark on his arm. So today when my teacher announced a pop quiz he pulled back his sleeve to reveal the dark mark and said, “Master is calling.” He then left the room and then did not return for the rest of the period.”

'The Hobbit' Ending May Be Altered For The Movie? I'm okay with this. See also: my constant insistence that protagonist should be conscious for climax of story. I mean, at least I'm consistent.

First Look: Julie Taymor's Insane Spider-Man Costume Designs; 'Spider-Man' Musical Villains Debut, First Song Performed; 'Spider-Man' Musical To Feature Carnage And Sinister Six, Says Director.

Roger Ebert Whips Up a New 'At the Movies' with Diverse Critic Pool.

Images: Disney's Tangled Publicity StillsPoster Premiere for 'Fair Game', the True Story of Valerie Plame; New Olivia Wilde TRON: Legacy Banner. What... what is wrong with her ass?

Trailers: Megan Fox Spreads Her Wings in this Passion Play Clip; Exclusive Clip from Helen Mirren's British Gangster Drama 'Brighton Rock'; Gwyneth Paltrow Shows Her Crazy Heart in the New Country Strong TrailerTrailer: Thomas Haden Church in Sam Raimi-Produced 'Zombie Roadkill.'

Garcia Bernal and Luna Join Ferrell in Casa de mi padre.

Sommers Adapting Koontz's Odd Thomas?

Michael Fassbender Reunites with 'Hunger' Director Steve McQueen. 

@cleolinda: I need to talk to an adult now. RT @MaryRobinette: "Sexy Elmo"? I am horrified... http://bit.ly/d9CDFp

@NoelCT: @cleolinda That's not a sexy Elmo. That's a dress made from the pelt of a hunted and slain Elmo. With his head as a hat.

And finally: Santa Claus is Coming to Kill in the Trailer for Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. 

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Sexy Elmo looks like someone who should be standing next to that one Muppet-hunter costume at a con.

It really is that enraging. If I had been reading a physical copy instead of an ebook, I would have thrown it across the room.

You know, I put that in because I felt bad being like "THIS BOOK IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD," as the saying goes, without even having laid eyes on it myself. But having now read two pretty thorough take-downs of it... there are just things in there that I do not think can get better "in context." I kind of want to read it just for the trainwreck, but... yeah. I am officially giving it The Side-Eye.

Of course, now watch actual fans of the book show up and chew my ass.

I too am also kind of tempted to read Hush, Hush to see if it really is that vexing. Because everything I've heard about it so far has made me make all sorts of faces that can only be expressed in emoticons (namely >:| and >:O and D:).

What disturbs me most about that Elmo "costume" (on top of many other things) is the part where it says "This is an officially licensed Seasame Street product."

I think the weird diagonal drape of the shiny costume thing in the Tron poster (plus photoshopping) is a big part of what's wrong with her ass.

I actually saw people on facebook wishing Nessie happy birthday. Face palms and embarrassment all around.

Just scanning through some of the YA's at Walmart I am horrified by the characters. I just ran the other way and started picking up American Gods. I can't sit through anymore teen assjackery.

My favorite YA vampire book is "The Night Wanderer" by Drew Hayden Taylor. Among other things, the vampire calls the girl on her teen assjackery. <3

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My one villain will learn a VERY SERIOUS LESSON when he misbehaves. The heroine, no matter how attractive she finds him is very hell no, about it.

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The summary even points out that it is actually like Twilight Mad Libs, and steals much of the book's structure as well as one-upping the asshaberdashery. I just can't even.

I did not know that the YA genre could possibly get worse on the 'omfg bad boy stalker <3' front. It's like there's a race to see who can top Twilight.

Oh, yes. Hush, Hush. I've heard about that one before. Patch seems like a grade A asshole.

You know, I feel like I'm on shaky ground without having read the book, but just from what I'm inferring here, from the summary's mentions of Nora's own confusion at her attraction to him--he's a fallen angel, right? He is, in fact, a bad guy. But then he becomes her guardian angel or something? So it makes sense to me that he starts out as a complete douche. What I don't understand is Nora being attracted to him at that point. I could understand an attraction that confuses her once some goodness gets thrown into his personality, or at least his motives (I'm guessing?). I don't understand being attracted to the character I am seeing described, with the jackassery and the harassment and the taunting and the humiliation and the stalking.

OMG, Olivia Wilde is in TRON? You have officially made my day! I was resigning myself to humoring Mr. Guinevere and tagging along. I generally like sci fi, but remakes tend to suck. Now I'm actually kind of looking forward to it!

From what I've seen so far it's definitely more sequel/tribute than remake, which may not be much of a difference to some, but I tend to think those are often better and more respectful of the original.

*cheers your semi-manifesto*. I feel like Twilight and its equally horrifying siblings have actually, in some ways, done me a favour. I was a lot more relaxed about whether I bothered with heroines having any agency before I started paying attention to this stuff.

Also enraging (to me, anyway) is the Hush Hush publisher's tweet this morning:

Will there be a third book in the HUSH, HUSH series? @becfitzpatrick finally has an answer!! http://bit.ly/9vrmrV - pls RT!

1. it's a successful YA paranormal romance which you've already proved to your finance department
2. it is the biggest Twilight rip off in the history of anything
3. ... seriously, we're pretending there was ever any doubt about this?

It might just be me, but there's just not enough eye-rolling in the world.

Yeah, the summary (which is two months old, even) said it was going to be a trilogy. I didn't know if a second book was already out or not. Mostly because I was afraid to look.

But yeah, I have to say that two years of railing about Twilight at molecular levels has actually made me a much better writer. I think about a lot of things that I didn't think about before.

And, for the record--I've said before that Twilight would actually be pretty awesome if it said, "These two people are completely fucked up--he stalks her and she gets off on the danger--but that's why they can only be happy together, because their psychological issues mesh." It would, in other words, be acknowledging the Complete and Total Bullshit as such. You can write things that are pretty grim and dark and messed-up, IMO, as long as you don't try to pass it off as the way the world should be.

Passion Play looks very, very, very boring. Then again, I'm not a fan of Megan Fox's acting skill, either.

drive by icon love. Brick is massively underappreciated.

Also, the lack of anything good in YA lately both gives me hope as an aspiring writer, and fills me with despair all at the same time. What if, for some reason, my writing is too LOGICAL to be published?

There's a lot of good work in YA lately, I just think it's been quietly good in the background rather than all-up-in-your-face good, like Harry Potter. For instance, have you read the Mysterious Benedict Society series? First rate.

Edited at 2010-09-11 12:37 am (UTC)

In other words, the spirit of this promise is, if I write about complete and total bullshit, it will be for the purpose of saying, That was COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT, and as such, people had to overcome it.

When you say stuff like this, I envision you as Galadriel smiting down orc!Stephenie Meyer with luminous gravity. AND IT IS GLORIOUS.

Relatedly, I had a long and detailed conversation with a coworker's 8 year old Twifan daughter about how Edward's behaviour is unacceptable and creepy and not at all romantic, and she was totally intrigued by this new perspective, because apparently she'd thought he was kind of jerky all along. AND THEN HER MOM TOLD ME OFF FOR MAKING HER "THINK ABOUT SAD STUFF" LIKE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND DANGEROUS RELATIONSHIPS.

The zombie apocalypse cannot come soon enough. I wash my hands of the human race.

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It makes me think of Days of Our Lives, so... just cheesy.